I have a girl crush on Fergie. The post-blonde Fergie, that is.
The *brunette* Fergie.
Fergie wasn't even a blip on my girl crush radar when she was blonde (except when I'd see a picture of her in US Weekly, on the arm of her tall drink of man water, Josh Duhamel).
Before I continue, let us take a Josh Duhamel moment. Ahhhhhhhh.
So I suppose I haven't payed much attention to the blonde Fergie because if I'm going to kiss a girl, I'd prefer she be a brunette one.
The "new" and if I may, "improved" Fergie caught my eye on the A.I. finale. As she was dancing and singing with The Black Eyed Peas to "Boom Boom Pow", I began to see her in a new way. What was it? Why was I so drawn to her performance? I mean, the song was catchy, but I was NOT looking at will.i.am!
Then it hit me.
It was the hair. She was brunette-a-licious! (Sorry, couldn't resist.)
I immediately texted Matt who texted back, "Who?" (Guess he's into blondes :) )
Then I had a radical thought.
Maybe I'd switch teams and dye my hair brown too!
And it wouldn't be the first time...
Ok, so I'm going to lose a little bit of my blonde cred with all my blondie homies out there, but it's time to admit that I did cross over--once.
I dyed my hair brown. And I liked it.
I felt sexier. Edgier. Good different.
Back then, I was pretty daring with my 'dos. I had stripes, (yes, stripes--AT Liz's wedding) I had The Rachel, (which unfortunately looked a lot more like The Carol Brady) and The Gwyneth. But my personal favorite was The Rocky. I bleached my hair white, cut it as short as Brigitte Nielsen in Rocky IV and spent all my time with a friend with even shorter hair. Needless to say, most people thought we were a really cute lesbian couple! (Note to self: probably not a good way to meet men! Or women who look like Fergie!)
So, after I "went brown", I felt like "the evil twin", "the bad girl" and "the mysterious stranger" all wrapped up into one! There was something about the new color that made me feel daring- and gave me 'tude. I went out to clubs! I wore red lipstick! I even bought black leather pants! (Even when I had stripes in my hair, my wildest outfit was mom jeans and a half-top. So this was big for me!)
And now, more years than I want to admit later...after playing it safe with my long, blonde hair, (with the exception of a few daring moments when I "cut layers"-ooooh!)... I thought I was ready to take another walk on the dark side.
And it was time to tell someone my plan!
In hindsight, I guess it shouldn't have been one of my blonde friends. And this particular blondie *who shall remain nameless * (but you know who you are!!! ), gasped in horror at my idea! (Talk about a buzz kill...)
BLONDE NAMELESS FRIEND: No way! You're a blonde and you will remain true to your *cough* roots!
ME: But...lots of blondes do it. Jessica Simpson. Cameron Diaz. Nicole Richie...
BLONDE NAMELESS FRIEND: And are any of them still brunette?
ME: Point taken. Ugh.
My dreams of channeling my inner Fergie deflated, I went home and looked in the mirror. Going brown would be fun for a couple of weeks, but the process of getting back to blonde would f***ing suck. I wasn't going to look as good in black (the only color I own!) and would I really have as much fun? (I'm over 35 now, I can't afford to take chances!)
So in the end, I decided NOT to dye (Special shout out to nameless blonde friend-- I hope you're f***ing happy!)
Because at the end of the day, you can take the blonde out of the girl, but you can't take the girl out of the blonde.