I'm counting down the minutes until I leave for Hawaii later this week but trying not to think about how many hours and hours it will take me to pack for one husband, two children and a mother-in-law. And the thought of schlepping all of that sh*t 2500 miles across the Pacific Ocean? Terrifiying! But as many of you know, it's critical to pack wisely when traveling with two children under five. And no one understands that more than me. Does anyone remember that I'm the bad mommy that forgot MY KID'S SWIMSUITS on our last trip? I can still hear their angry crying ringing in my ears sometimes. Guess what will be the first thing I pack?
But before we can get to the pool to *relax*, we have to all arrive in one piece with our sanity intact. So for those of you also planning a last minute getaway before school starts, I'd thought I'd kindly provide you with my my must-have checklist!
Don't you dare say Aloha until you read this!
1. DVD PLAYER WITH EXTENDED BATTERY LIFE- After emptying Target of every Scooby-Doo and Spongebob DVD that was available, I feel confident that it will keep my kids happy even while they are buckled into in a tiny space for FIVE HOURS. *Roll eyes* Yeah Right!
2. MEDICATION- Um, *just in case* my toddle *allergies* act up on the flight, I want to be prepared. Oh wait, it helps put him to sleep too? *fakes surprise* I had no idea!
3. FRUIT SNACKS- Whether you want your fruit snacks shaped liked Tonka trucks, Princesses, Backyardigans, Dora or Einsteins, I'm here for you. Want it roll-up style? Or in sticker form? By the foot? I'm your gal! Because nothing stops crying faster than a bag of fruit snacks. And I'm more than willing to pay the price for the sugar-high later when we are safely on the ground.
4. IPOD- Because Mama might need to go to her "Nick Lachey" happy place after the fifteenth time my son demands to take a "stroll" down the airplane aisle.
5. EARPLUGS- For when that drunk man in the chaise next to me at the pool wants to discuss health care reform, immigration or what constitutes a valid birth certificate.
6. SLUTTY SHIRT FOR BOOZE CRUISE- Thanks to my MIL, I might actually get a few hours of alone time with Hubby on this trip. And there's nothing like a booze cruise to take your mind off the fact that you'll be kicked all night while sleeping Brady Bunch style with your kids in one bed later that night.
7. SWIM SKORT-To hide the after-effects of too many pupus and Pina Coladas on above-mentioned booze cruise.
8. LIFE VEST FOR TWO-YEAR OLD- Because Mama needs to keep an eye on her drink too.
9. HELLO KITTY-What is it about that damn cat! All I know is my four-year old daughter will just about anything for a Hello Kitty pencil. It's like crack for kindergartners. And I'm willing to pay street value to keep her happy on this trip!
10. HIGH-SPEED CAMERA- So I can be sure to capitalize on the one minute that both children actually look into the camera and smile!