Get a colonoscopy. Listen to Miley Cyrus and Britney Spears discuss world politics.
Be a contestant on Survivor.
*rings buzzer* What are "Things Liz would rather do than study?"
DING DING DING DING DING! YOU ARE CORRECT!
I've never been the "studious" type. In fact, and I've never really been a "details" type of girl and well, quite frankly, cramming really cramps my style.
So you may find it funny that I pursued a career in an industry where constant learning in essential and testing your knowledge is a common occurence. But somehow, I always found a way to make it work...Until I had kids.
I had always thought it was a myth that you can't remember shit after having children. Um, yeah. I couldn't have been more wrong. Since giving birth to mine, I can barely remember where my keys are each day, let alone memorize the statistical analysis of seven clinical trials. In fact, I spent twenty minutes frantically searching for my bluetooth last week, only to find it...on my ear. And the only thing I seem to be able to remember these day is who won last week's elimination challenge on Top Chef and the plotline for Grey's Anatomy.
Not to mention the fact that all this haphazard studying makes me feel like I've boarded a time machine and traveled to...1994. Like I'm pulling an all-nighter in the Cal Poly library so I can flirt with that cute boy from Communication 101 (Because really, is there any other reason to pull an all-nighter?) and attempting in vain to figure out how the f*ck to work the Lexis Nexis. Yeah, you heard me right, Lexis Nexis. I've just officially admitted that I attended college before internet was available. Back then, we were so looking forward to seeing what that "Information Superhighway" was all about. And the only way to research a paper was to actually open a book. *insert dinosaur jokes here*
Back then, my biggest worry was what I would wear to that night's sorority mixer or what drink wouldn't make me throw up on the way home in Marty Mazda . So, because I just can't get Whatta Man by Salt N Pepa out of my head, I've decided to take a break from memorizing P values and take a leisurely stroll down memory lane...Care to join me?
LIZ'S MUST LIST...FROM 1994
1. Brown-braided belt with polo shirt with penny loafers
Why Lisa and I felt the need to deny any and all sex appeal in order to channel our inner-male with this ensemble will always baffle me. And I think we actually put a penny in our loafers. Gag! To this day, I still can't shake my aversion for collared shirts. NEVUH AGAIN, I SAY!
2. The soundtrack to The Bodyguard
I don't want to call anyone out(Lisa) but someone(Lisa) REALLY liked this soundtrack. And that someone would sing it very loudly, as if they were channeling Whitney Houston herself. ALOT. Okay, okay, maybe I sang with her. Sometimes.
3. Gas for $1.09 and homes for $119,000
Do you think they'll let me fill up my time machine before I head home? Or just stay and make an offer on that place I've had my eye on? Because I'd be willing to tolerate scrunchies and the rise of the Spice Girls again if it meant I could have affordable housing!
4. Bobby McGee's
If you needed to find me on any given Thursday, Friday or Saturday, I'd be here in my shortest skort doing the poor-man's electric slide or shaking my ass to the Macarena. And I used to wonder why I was single?
5. The "Rachel" haircut
Oh, how I wanted this haircut. In fact, "The Rachel" is the whole reason I got off my ass and learned how to straighten my hair. Because although the 80's were kind to those of us who were follically challenged, the nineties had no such patience. Unfortunately, I never did quite perfect my "Rachel", prompting others to refer to it as the "Rochelle", her slightly frizzy second cousin.
What was your Must List in the nineties?