Mommy Monday: An extra hour a day away keeps the b*tchface away

So far, I'm loving 2011.  I'm ROCKING those damn bangs like nobody's business and Lisa's bundle of joy arrived late last week. (More details from Lisa to come later this month-so all I'll say is that both Mom and baby are healthy and gorgeous!)  The Bears are heading to the playoffs(this makes the hubs happy) and I've already lost those annoying Wii-induced 5 pounds that were giving me the worst muffin top EVEH. And we all know that it's freakin' IMPOSSIBLE to rock jeans with boots when you have muffin top. So how did I lose them so quickly you ask?  Did I finally open up the P90X?  Did I decide to take the stairs?  Did I get swine flu?  Nope.  I lost the weight the old-fashioned way.


Don't worry-it's not the things are going terrible and I can't eat stress.  It's more like I'm so busy that I can't breathe or text or eat stress.  I knew 2011 was going to be crazy but it still knocked the wind out of me last week.  I found myself wishing for just one more hour in the day to get things done.  And when I fell into bed Friday night, I began daydreaming about what I would do with that hour.  Oh, the things I would get done! I would be so much nicer!  So relaxed!  Because let's face it: An extra hour a day would keep the bitchface away. You know, that secret bitchface that lives inside all of us?  Don't even try to pretend like you don't have one.

And here it is, so just in case I actually ever get that extra hour-I'll be ready!  Or maybe I'll just play Wii. (Damn you Grandma and Grandpa for buying the kids that time suck!)

If I had an extra hour a day, I would....

1. Get a mani-pedi with extra massage. I'd even finally let them draw that flower on my toenail they're always bugging me about.

2. Pour a huge glass of wine and watch the latest The Millionaire Matchmaker . (Did any of you see the one recently with the PR millionairess that looked like a crayola exploded on her face and the gold digger?  Dude! You. Must. Watch.)

3. Put on super cute workout clothes and pretend I was going to the gym and then find something else to do instead. Because it's the thought that counts, right?

4. Take my new dog to an animal psychic. Because I just have to know why that bitch keeps running away.  She went from a cold animal shelter and horrible mange to belly rubs, treats, walks and two kids that worship the ground she walks on. I don't know how to convey to her that it's not getting any better than this.

5. Tackle my TBR pile. Oh Vey.  Super Mario Brothers has really set me behind on this one. But I have three ARCS that I'm excited to read in the next two weeks- Best Kept Secret by Amy Hatvany(out in July), The Violets of March by Sarah Jio(out April 27th) and Here, Home, Hope by Kaira Rouda(out in May).  Oh, and speaking of ARCS, you're going to LOVE Sarah Pekkanan's Skipping A Beat(due February 22).  I read it one day last month-I laughed, I cried, I loved it. Do yourself a favor and pre-order it.  And Leave a comment here to win an ARC of Sarah Jio's The Violets of March!

6. Read the stack of Entertainment Weeklys sitting on my desk. Because drooling over Jake Gyllenhaal half-naked on the cover is not actually considered reading.

7. Learn how to bake. Because I'm tired of my daughter saying, Oh, Mommy! when I pull lopsided, burnt cookies out of the oven.

8. Shop by myself. I don't care where.  Although for some reason I find Target very relaxing(until I get to the cash register and realized I've spent $200 and bought NOTHING I actually need).

9. Have happy hour with the girls. Because an hour with good friends, a Grey Goose dirty martini and an onion ring stack can make just about any problem melt away.

10. Have a conversation with my hubs that has nothing to do with snot, poop, time out, or Wii. Is that really too much to ask? And if I got an another hour, I might actually kiss him with some tongue.  In fact-let's declare 2011 the year of the married make-out session! All I need is a shot of tequila to help me forget about all the other things I should be doing instead and I'm in!

What would YOU do with your extra hour? Leave a comment and you'll be entered to win an ARC of Sarah Jio's upcoming debut, The Violets of March.  I'll pick the winners on Wednesday night after 6pm PST.  Good luck!

xoxo, Liz