Jennifer Belle's 5 Do's and a Do-Over

The Seven Year Bitch is back bitches! This time in paperback! And if you didn't read it the first time 'round (or even if you did), it's time to snatch up a copy and dive in. We loved, loved, loved this sassy novel. And we thought our favorite magazine, EW, summed it up perfectly: “A fun ride...The heroines of Jennifer Belle’s wry comic novels often feel like a cockeyed cross between Cosmo girl and Woody Allen muse, and...Isolde Brilliant is no different. [Isolde] flirts with infidelity and navigates satiric set pieces (fertility-challenged nannies, bad playdate mommies) like a Baby Bjorne-toting Alice in a kook-infested Wonderland.” Entertainment Weekly

Synopsis: What’s a fabulous New York City girl supposed to do when she finds herself fantasizing about the grim reaper more than she fantasizes about her husband? When she can’t help but give him the finger on the set of Sesame Street? And when she doesn’t exactly hope for a safe landing when he goes away on business?

No, ex-hedge fund manager and new mom Isolde Brilliant hasn’t got the seven-year itch — taking care of her baby and husband and having a growing suspicion that she’s living life in captivity has turned her into a seven year bitch.

That’s New York author Jennifer Belle’s deliciously provocative phrase for the boredom, anger, and hurt that can creep into even the best of marriages — and affect even the most saintly of wives. Belle delivers a dead-on, raw, and hilarious novel about motherhood and marriage, and discovering the life you have is exactly the one you wanted.

Want to win a copy? Well you know the drill by now. Just leave a comment and you'll be entered to win one of five copies of The Seven Year Bitch. We'll randomly select the winners after 6pm on Monday, May 16th.

We love Jennifer- the way she writes and the way she thinks. Like coming up with the ingenious idea to create buzz for her book by paying actresses to read her book in public! Check out the video here. And the way she approached her 5 Do's and a Do-Over which, just like her books, are a must-read. (Liz can especially relate to #4! You might recall her post entitled, birthday blunder.)



"I will never understand people who say they have no regrets. I have a million regrets. I would have rather written Five Do-overs and one Do, but here is what I’ve come up with"- Jennifer Belle

1.      DO travel as much as you possibly can and put yourself in as many miserable, uncomfortable and even dangerous situations as possible. Along the same lines, but having nothing to do with travel, DO date at least one sociopath for the great sex, but don’t let it last more than a year.

2.      DO something you’ve never done like learn to drive or learn to ski. I never did either and I’m constantly made to feel guilty about it. Every single time I go to a party my husband finds a way to tell people that I don’t know how to drive.

3.      DO try never to hold a grudge. I personally am a terrible grudge-holder, and can’t forgive or forget anything sometimes for years. In fact, an old boyfriend gave me the Indian name “Chief Holds-A-Grudge.” I have also let go of friendships I should have fought harder to keep. Recently I was on a radio show with Alex McCord from the TV show Real Housewives of New York and she said the key to her great marriage was never going to bed angry. I said, “Really? I go to bed angry almost every single night.”

4.      Along those lines, DO tell your husband or boyfriend exactly what you want for your birthday or anniversary. I always ask for a night alone in a hotel. I mean, alone without him. On my last anniversary, we couldn’t afford a hotel, so I made my two sons sleep in bed with my husband, and I slept in my son’s bed all by myself with the door closed. Heaven!

5.      DO save your money and don’t waste it on restaurants and clothes and cabs. I have absolutely no money in the bank because I spend it as soon as I get it. DO however invest in a great Norma Kamali bathing suit and LuluLemon workout clothes so you’ll feel good on the off-chance you decide to go to the beach or work out.


DON’T let your dog sleep in bed with you. My husband can’t even give me a two-second backrub without my dog thoroughly investigating what’s going on in his bed. This is why my dog plays an unfortunate part in all of the sex scenes in my new book.

Watch the book trailer for The Seven Year Bitch here. And to find out more about the hilarious and very talented Jennifer Belle, visit her website and follow her on Facebook and Twitter.