Get Married This Year

With a title like Get Married This Year: 365 Days to "I Do", it's no wonder that Dr. Janet Blair Page's book is a hit. We were more than curious to dive in and see what advice she had for how to find "The One"- easily one of the top questions any single girl has asked herself- a question we DEFINITELY asked ourselves for years before finally walking down the aisle. From designing the ultimate Spouse Shopping List to getting the right guy to commit, she offers a blue print on how to find love in 12 months or less. Here's more about Get Married This Year: Your To-Do List This Year:

Today: Get to know yourself.
 Next Month: Figure out what you really want from your man.
 Month 3: Learn how to get out of your own way. 
Month 6: Take the field and find the right guy.
 Month 10: Make the big decision.
 Month 12: Get married!

Does it work? We'll let you be the judge! We've got 5 copies (US only) to give away. Just leave a comment and be entered to win. We'll randomly select the winners on after 6 P.M. PST on Sunday, January 29.

So what does this author of how to find love, well, love? We asked...


LOVES 1. My fiancé -- my biggest treat is enjoying loving him with the comfortable knowledge that he is imminently capable of staying in love with me forever. Appreciating him and letting him know it is great for our relationship. It's also a really great feel good boost for me that has fantastic spill over into the other areas of my life. My family, friends, and clients benefit from the warmth of my having someone in my life who makes it so wonderfully easy to practice daily appreciation.

2. My daughters and son-in-laws -- spending time with them is a joy and I know I'm very lucky that everyone is so comfortable and anyone can be with anyone else when we're together without any edges. I was conscious of keeping fun in the family when they were growing up as a good lure for the rest of our lives. They choose mates that enhanced our family so all is made easy.

3. My goddaughters, friends, brother, sister-in-law, and mother -- give me fuel whenever I am with them. As a shy pre-teen who forced her way into being expressive and social, I've never gotten over gratitude for the pleasure being with people brings me. I am an extrovert convert. I have tried writing with no people breaks or forcing myself to get all tasks done without playtime but I just get miserable, less creative and start spiraling down into feeling like dull stuff.

4. Working in a fulfilling career -- I can't retire . . . ever. Last year I was hemmed in during a sudden Atlanta snowstorm and it was a shocker because I didn't have a clue about what I did with the three days. It just seemed to evaporate. I think of plenty to do if I am already doing something and I can't imagine any more interesting or satisfying base than my practice, writing, and speaking. 5. Physical activity -- I only excel at consistency in the area of sports and exercise but if it's hiking, biking, walking, tennis, yoga, or weights, I love the feeling of my blood circulating. Whether that's a primal or peculiar high, I don't care: it works for me. Any day with some exercise even if it is walking up multiple flights of stairs is a better day.


My dud is my own attitude -- I'm capable of being bleak and if even though it is for short snatches, it feels too long and completely unnecessary. My goal this year is to eliminate worry. Cautionary tactics are a good thing but my irritating times of thinking things won't work out will be countered with the aim of spending 100% my time believing they will. How's that for a New Year's resolution?

To find out more about Janet Page Blair, PhD, visit her website.

Thanks, Janet!



The Little Black Book of Big Red Flags authors' 5 Do's and a Do-Over

The second we started reading The Little Black Book of Big Red Flags: Relationship Warning Signs You Totally Spotted...But Chose to Ignore by Natasha Burton, Julie Fishman, and Meagan McCrary, we screamed, where has this book been all our lives?? To say we dated our share of men with HUGE red flags is an understatement. Lisa's problem was that they always looked so damn good on paper that she overlooked huge ass red flags like the fact that they had oedipus complexes or suffered from gaming addictions. And Liz's problem was that she liked those damn bad boys who were always so damn good looking...Why is that? So ladies, how many of you can relate to this...

You've done it before. Saw something wrong with him—whether it was suspect grooming habits or ridiculously childish behavior—but let it slide. It's not that big of a deal. Except it totally was. You wanted to fall in love, but ended up going insane. You swore you'd never do it again. But did.

Don't beat yourself up. In the search for love, we've all either blatantly ignored or completely missed red flags. Instead, smarten up. It's time to figure out what you missed and learn how to avoid similar flagtastic fiascos in the future. If you raise your red flag awareness now, you'll be able to greenlight a real relationship down the road

And if you leave a comment, you'll be entered to win a copy of The Little Black Book of Big Red Flags. We'll randomly select the winner after 6pm EST on July 31st. Good luck!


By Julie Fishman, co-author


1. Do learn from the past -- Reflect on past relationships, not to determine how much of an asshole you ex-boyfriend was, but to help clarify exactly what worked for you and what didn't, as well as what was missing. If you notice no-so-great trends, like you always date controlling men or flock to deadbeats, give a guy outside your "type" a chance -- he may just surprise you.

2. Do know what you want -- Start noting the qualities you really want in a man, as well as those you won't stand for. Maybe even make a list to help you remember your standards when your dating circumstances get a tad dismal. Don't include superficial stuff like "must look like a young Paul Newman" or "can't be under six feet" but real issues like "can't be best friends with his ex" or "actually needs to refer to me as his girlfriend." We all deserve a bodacious beau, but we'll never get one if we don't stick to our guns.

3. Do make sure you're on the same page -- While the notion of a soul mate is appealing, a ton of factors come into play when determining the trajectory of any given relationship. Being compatible as a couple is not just about having similar likes and values; it's about wanting the same things out of life, as well as wanting those things to happen on roughly the same schedule. If you're anticipating a white wedding and your man in question is only looking as far into the future as Sunday's football game, you're likely operating on different life clocks.

4. Do be honest with yourself -- Many women hesitate to express their true feelings when they're unhappy in a relationship. We often feel like we "should" be with a person or that we're stuck with them because our parents want us to be with them, we imagined the romance working out, whatever. Fact is, if it's not right, it's not right -- why waste your precious time on a dude you know isn't a match? Don't focus on what other people think, impose crazy expectations on yourself, or follow some outdated idea that you need to work things out because it's "meant to be." After all, what about being happy?

5. Do have fun -- Don't let yourself get caught up in the "must find a man now" hype. This anxiety often prevents you from evaluating a suitor fairly and may cause you to miss out on a really great guy. Try to plan outside-the-box dates, like a ballroom dancing class or a wildflower hike: seeing a guy in action offers more insight into his personality than a dinner date anyway. Plus, active options ensure you have something to talk about, help you go with the flow and make the date enjoyable even if the dude's a dud.


Do Over: Excess drinking on dates -- While a drink or two is a great way to calm the nerves, six or seven will likely land you on an imaginary stage singing something by Journey. Even if you don't go that far, verbal diarrhea may lead you to reveal details about your felony-filled past, your ex's bedroom habits or that one time in band camp. Plus, there's nothing cute about puking out the car window on the way home. In short: have fun, but don't funnel beers like a frat boy.

To find out more about the ladies behind The Little Black Book of Big Red Flags, visit their website.

Thanks, Natasha, Julie & Meagan!


Liz & Lisa