Blackberry Blues by Liz

So y'all know how much I love Barry Blackberry.  In fact, I just about died when I went into radio silence for 48 hours earlier this year.  And although I know they say absence makes the heart grow fonder, I found myself dreaming of another after my Barry came back to me. For some reason I just couldn't get Droid off my mind.

And it wasn't fair really.  Barry had always been there for me with lightning fast email and an easy to use typepad-I could practically text with my eyes closed! He was solid and dependable, the kind of phone that wouldn't ever let me down.

That's why, at first, I attempted to ignore Droid's cool apps and incredibly fast internet.  And I tried not to look when the person next to me was watching the latest cool YouTube video on him.  I'm fine with Barry.  I don't some trendy phone.  Barry's always been there in good times and bad.  Show some loyalty damnit!

And I swear, I didn't mean to drop Barry in the parking lot that day.  And what was I supposed to do when it was clear I needed a new phone?  I was due for an upgrade, right?  When the lovely Verizon salesperson asked me what phone I wanted, I meant to say Blackberry, I really did.  But for some reason the word DROID came out of my mouth.

And thus began the most frustrating 24 hours of my life.

I was practically drooling by the time when I got Droid home. I couldn't wait to have some alone time with him.  That's when I discovered that my other electronic boyfriend wasn't happy at all with my new purchase.  That's right.  Mac and Droid hated each other immediately.  Mac didn't want to give up his contacts or update his calendar for Droid.  Clearly, he had more loyalty to Barry Blackberry than I had realized. But after three agonizing hours of negotiations, I finally found a way for them to share their information.  But neither of them seemed pleased about it.

The next morning, Droid and I were quarreling again, this time over email.  Droid didn't think it was necessary to put any history in my email replies.  I, on the other hand, felt this was VERY important. And let's just say Lisa was less than thrilled with this new development and I became tired of receiving a What does this mean!  or WTF are you replying to! response to every reply.  And don't even get me started on my inability to form a cohesive sentence on that touchscreen or the creepy way it would say "DROID" when I got a text message. (Seriously! How freakin' narcissistic can you be?)

That's when I knew Droid had to go.

Part of me was sad.  I had barely had time to use my new Yelp app or Facebook to my heart's content.  But I only needed 24 hours to convince me that I had made a huge mistake letting Barry go and I knew one thing for sure. I had to get Barry Blackberry back asap.

I sped to the nearest Verizon store, hoping to find a way to beg for Barry's forgiveness.  To tell him that I'd gladly take his internet speed and poor selection of apps over that fancy schamcy Droid.  That Droid had made me feel all of my thirty-six years. That I'd do just about anything to see that little star letting me know I had email again.

But like the class act he is, Barry took my betrayal like a man.  In fact, he even introduced me to his hunky older brother Storm.  He felt like his push screen would really make me happy.  And as usual, he was right-it did!

So I'm happy to say Barry and I are back together. Even Mac seemed pleased that he had his old buddy around to share information with.  And while I may still get a little butterfly in my stomach everytime I see Droid, I know now that looks can be deceiving.  Barry Blackberry has my heart forever!

Or at least until Verizon gets the iPhone.

Radio Silence by Liz

I love Barry Blackberry.  Or rather I'm obsessed.  I think about him when he's tucked away in my purse while I'm working and cuddle him close to my chest to keep him warm when it's cold and rainy.  He's the first thing I grab in the morning and I never forget to blow him a little kiss before heading off to bed each night. But like many others who take their loved ones for granted, I was careless with Barry's love, refusing to buy him that shiny case he'd had his eye on for months.  You don't need it, I told him. You look fine just the way you are. And each time I dropped him on my tile floor, I would gingerly put him back together and swear this was the last time I'd ever hurt him.  That I'd never again place him next to my three-year old's cup of milk.  That I'd find a appropriate place in my purse to store him where he wouldn't get all sticky.

All Empty Promises.

Then, last Sunday, Barry had enough.  He'd taken it like a man when I splashed some fresh-squeezed lemonade on him at the carnival and didn't miss a beat when  my daughter spilled sugar from her pixie stick all up in his parts.  But when I dropped him on that damn tile again, that was it.  After putting him back together, his (lcd) light just wouldn't shine again.  Barry was gone.

*Cue panicked run to Verizon store and angry tantrum when clerk informed me that I would have to wait TWO DAYS to get a new phone*

Hanging my head in my hands, I thought, How the f*ck am I going to survive two days without a phone? My sales job requires me to be in the car all day, and Barry Blackberry had always been my window into the world.  Now I was going to have to *gasp* listen to music, or God forbid, my own thoughts!

But what struck me the most in my two days of radio silence was how much I'd changed since getting Barry.  How distracted I had become in my daily life, how little I paid attention to others while I was replying to a text that I thought just couldn't wait. Now I wondered why it had been so urgent.  How often I chose to Facebook on my phone between appointments rather than preparing.  That I was so addicted to my phone that I kept reaching for it even though it wasn't there.  All in all, I felt pretty lame and promised to try to make some changes when my new Barry Blackberry arrived on my doorstep.

And since re-entering the land of the communicative, I have to admit that old habits die hard.  But I'm trying.  I even bought him a shiny pink case, although he feels it strips away his masculinity. I told him he'll get over it-it's better than having your battery case ripped opened every day, right?

The best part of my two days of silence? My productivity. I even had time to make a list about it!

During my Radio silence...

  • Actually listened to myself think. Think I may have solved that whole cold fusion thing.
  • Went to the car wash and *watched* my car get washed.
  • Endured more crunching and smacking sounds than any one person ever should.
  • Gave that guy at Starbucks the wrong idea when I stared at his Blackberry. (I may have drooled a little bit .)
  • Decided that I was too good and started judging everyone else talking on their cell phone to make myself feel better.
  • Eavesdropped on some really interesting conversations.
  • NEVER knew what time it was.

xoxo, Liz