Barbara O'Neal's 5 Things I'd Tell The Teen Me

Our guest today: Barbara O'Neal Why we love her: We LOVED her last book, How to Bake a Perfect Life and couldn't wait for the next one!

Her latest book: The Garden of Happy Endings

The scoop on it: After tragedy shatters her small community in Seattle, the Reverend Elsa Montgomery has a crisis of faith. Returning to her hometown of Pueblo, Colorado, she seeks work in a local soup kitchen. Preparing nourishing meals for folks in need, she keeps her hands busy while her heart searches for understanding.

Meanwhile, her sister, Tamsin, as pretty and colorful as Elsa is unadorned and steadfast, finds her perfect life shattered when she learns that her financier husband is a criminal. Enduring shock and humiliation as her beautiful house and possessions are seized, the woman who had everything now has nothing but the clothes on her back.

But when the going gets tough, the tough get growing. A community garden in the poorest, roughest part of town becomes a lifeline. Creating a place of hope and sustenance opens Elsa and Tamsin to the renewing power of rich earth, sunshine, and the warm cleansing rain of tears. While Elsa finds her heart blooming in the care of a rugged landscaper, Tamsin discovers the joy of losing herself in the act of giving—and both women discover that with time and care, happy endings flourish.

Our thoughts: Perfect Mother's Day gift for your favorite Mom! Or anyone else for that matter.

Giveaway: FIVE copies!  Leave a comment and we'll choose the winners May 13 after 6pm PST.

Fun fact: Barbara has a blog called Writer Afoot-check it out!

CHICK LIT IS NOT DEAD PRESENTS...BARBARA O'NEAL'S 5 THINGS I'D TELL THE TEEN ME

1.  Get a sport.  I don’t care what you choose (as long as it isn’t a ball sport, because you and I both know that we have very little coordination and are chosen last for team sports for a reason).   But go ahead, join the cross country team or the swim team—you’ll have fun and make better friends and will be forced to stop the silly smoking thing way before you get lines around your mouth.

2.  You are so much smarter than you think you are.  All those counselors trying to get you to go to college, telling you that you’re smart and you’ll like it and they can find you the money?  Listen to them.  Smart is better that hot and you’re going to end up in college anyway in a couple of years, at which time the guy you think you CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT is going to be pissed off and you’ll end up leaving him. Let me say it again: smart will get you a lot more satisfaction than being hot. Not that hotness is bad.

3. Trust your sisters.  They are going to be in your corner for so much longer than anyone else you know right now.   They might be annoying, but hey, you’re annoying, too, and they still love you.  Even when you borrow shirts without asking.

4.  High school will not last forever. I promise.  It’s boring and exhausting and the hours are incredibly irritating, but college will be fantastic.  You will love it and you will finally get to explore all the things you think are incredibly interesting—writing, of course, but also photography and life drawing and anthropology and psychology and horticulture. The parties are great, but the classes are even better.

5.  There are approximately 150 million young men in the world.  A lot of them will be interesting and exciting to you, so don’t put up with guys who cannot hold a conversation and only want to go out to their friends’ houses and drink beer.  Find somebody who likes the things you do, which is talking and writing and thinking and movies, and hang out with HIM.  Smart guys will bring more satisfaction than a merely hot one. Not that hotness is bad.

Thanks Barbara!  xoxo, L&L

To read more about Barbara, head on over to her website or find her on Facebook and Twitter.

Liz & Lisa's Best books for Mom + huge giveaway!

Forget the tired mani-pedi. Or the bazillionth massage gift certificate. Or even the flowers (they'll be gone in a week, maybe sooner). This Mother's Day, we're all about BOOKS. We love 'em and we know you do too. And we've come up with our list of reads that we think will make a perfect addition to any mom's bookshelf. From The Language of Flowers to The B*tch, we've selected a book that will satisfy any mom. So as you're shopping for Mom this year (Mother's Day is just a few days a way) consider giving her a book as a gift.  Or more than one. We'll even help you out with that. Because, today, we're giving away 15 books to one lucky person. Yes, you read that right- 15 (plus a couple of other fun things!) Scroll down for the list of books (and goodies) we're giving away--some from our list of Mother's Day picks and others that we've read and loved along the way...

For the mom with a huge heart...

The Language of Flowers by Vanessa Diffenbaugh

Why buy? Elle hailed it as "instantly entrancing" and we couldn't agree more. It's rich with love and emotion as the protagonist fights through her painful past.

The scoop: The Victorian language of flowers was used to convey romantic expressions: honeysuckle for devotion, asters for patience, and red roses for love. But for Victoria Jones, it’s been more useful in communicating mistrust and solitude. After a childhood spent in the foster-care system, she is unable to get close to anybody, and her only connection to the world is through flowers and their meanings. Now eighteen and emancipated from the system with nowhere to go, Victoria realizes she has a gift for helping others through the flowers she chooses for them. But an unexpected encounter with a mysterious stranger has her questioning what’s been missing in her life. And when she’s forced to confront a painful secret from her past, she must decide whether it’s worth risking everything for a second chance at happiness.

For the mom who loves Shades of Grey...

Great Aunt Sophia's Lessons for Bombshells by Lisa Cach

Why buy? Why not? Shades of Grey is proving every mom has fantasies. Plus, that *special someone* in her life will thank you! *Even though it won't be released until June 19, we couldn't resist putting it on the list. Pre-order it here.

The scoop: Grace Cavanaugh is hell-bent on proving her Women’s Studies dissertation thesis that beauty only leads to misery. And what better research subject than her great-aunt Sophia, a former B-movie star? Now eighty-five and facing surgery, Sophia has asked Grace for company. . . .Grace imagines a helpless, lonely old woman, forced to turn to a great-niece she barely knows. Instead she finds the aging diva holding court in a Pebble Beach mansion, oozing a bombshell-itude—arthritis and wrinkles be damned—that captivates every male in sight. To Grace’s dismay, her greataunt decides a perfect distraction would be transforming the frumpy feminist into a femme fatale who purrs for her suitors . . . or devours them. She ordains classes in everything from carb cutting to lingerie, culminating in a challenging final exam. The newly svelte Grace must test her wiles—on both devilishly handsome and morally corrupt Declan and sensitive but painfully awkward Dr. Andrew. Newly unleashed desires—and the discovery of a closely held family secret— threaten the bookworm-turned-babe’s entire feminist upbringing. Her thesis gone sadly awry, Grace wonders if her great-aunt is right: Will trusting her heart lead her to find beauty in the most unexpected places?

For the mom who loves a good (and true!) love story...

The Pioneer Woman:Black Heels to Tractor Wheels- A Love Story by Ree Drummond

Why buy? One of the best memoirs we've read this year.

The scoop: That’s when I saw him—the cowboy—across the smoky room. I’ll never forget that night. It was like a romance novel, an old Broadway musical, and a John Wayne Western rolled into one. Out for a quick drink with friends, I wasn’t looking to meet anyone, let alone a tall, rugged cowboy who lived on a cattle ranch miles away from my cultured, corporate hometown. But before I knew it, I’d been struck with a lightning bolt . . . and I was completely powerless to stop it. This isn’t just my love story; it’s a universal tale of passion, romance, and all-encompassing love that sweeps us off our feet. It’s the story of a cowboy. And Wranglers. And chaps. And the girl who fell in love with them.

For the mom who loves Chick Lit

Skinnydipping by Bethenny Frankel

Why buy? Whether the mom in your life likes reality TV, Bethenny, Chick Lit or just wants an escape, this book is perfect.

The scoop: Faith Brightstone is an aspiring actress just out of college, who moves to L.A. determined to have it all—a job on the most popular TV show, a beach house in Malibu, and a gorgeous producer boyfriend. But when reality hits, she finds herself with a gig as a glorified servant, a role that has more to do with T&A than acting, and a dead-end relationship. Finally, Faith decides she’s had enough of La La Land and moves back to New York with just a suitcase and her dog, Muffin.

Five years later, Faith has finally found her groove as an entrepreneur and manages to land a spot on a new reality TV show hosted by her idol—the legendary businesswoman and domestic goddess Sybil Hunter. Diving into the bizarre world of reality TV, Faith’s loud mouth and tell-it-like-it-is style immediately get her in trouble with her fellow contestants—the delusional socialite; the boozy lifestyle coach; the moody headband designer; and her closest friend, the ambitious housewife who eventually betrays her. Even Sybil is not what she appears. As the show comes to a dramatic close, Faith discovers that the man of her dreams may have just walked into her life. Will she choose fame or love? Or can she have it all?

For the mom looking for some sass...

The B*tch by Jackie Collins

Why buy? Um, it's a no-brainer. It's Jackie Collins! Plus, she re-wrote and published this e-book herself!

The scoop: Las Vegas. A carousel town set in the middle of the desert. Blazing neon signs promise all the vices known to man, and then some. Devastatingly handsome ladies’ man Nico Constantine hits town to make a killing at the casinos. But instead of tripling what’s left of his dwindled fortune, he ends up losing everything, and owing the mob — big time. Meanwhile, gloriously beautiful Fontaine Khaled has shed her filthy rich husband for the life she really wants: a riotous whirl of champagne, designer clothes, and the hottest, sexiest men. But her never-ending party comes with a price — one even her ex-husband’s outrageous alimony payments can’t afford. When Nico collides with Fontaine, their mutual lust is immediate and intense. Nico will need to use her if he wants to stay alive, and Fontaine fears she’s met her match. Love is the last thing on their minds, but it may be their fate — if their creditors don’t get them first.

Giveaway deets: Leave a comment and be entered to win ALL of the following books. We'll randomly select ONE lucky winner after 6pm EST on Monday, May 14.

Here's what you can win...

Lucky Stiff by Deborah Coonts, More Like Her by Liza Palmer, Me Before You by Jojo Moyes, The Turning of Anne Merrick by Christine Blevins, Brooklyn Story by Suzanne Corso, I, Iago by Nicole Galland, The Most Dangerous Thing by Laura Lippman, Spin by Catherine McKenzie, The Language of Flowers by Vanessa Diffenbaugh, The Thirteen by Susie Maloney, The Bond by Wayne Pacelle, All the Flowers in Shanghai by Duncan Jepson, The Pioneer Woman by Ree Drummond, Bond Girl by Erin Duffy...

Plus:  You can also win: 1 Gift Card for $10 to Amazon, Lucky Santangelo mug and a Lovers & Players notebook and a copy of Hollywood Wives.

Good luck!

xoxo,

Liz & Lisa

Jen Lancaster's 5 Do's and a Do-Over

We're pinching ourselves. Jen Lancaster on our site twice? In three months? WTF?

Last time Jen was here--celebrating CLIND's 3rd birthday and sharing the 5 things she'd tell her teen self--our website LITERALLY crashed (the most exciting thing to happen to us in a long time!) because y'all flooded it with over 600 comments about how much you CRUSH on her and LOVE her books.

Well, we're prepared (and weirdly excited) that it may happen again. Because she's baaaaack and of course giving away 5 copies of her latest- and if you ask us her funniest (we're Gen X'ers, it was a no-brainer)- Jeneration X and sharing her 5 Do's and a Do-Over, which, of course, are perfection. Check out #4- so amazing and makes us love her even more.

So leave a comment to be entered to win!  We'll choose FIVE winners on Sunday May 13th after 6pm PST.  Good luck!

But first, here's the scoop on Jeneration X: One Reluctant Adult's Attempt to Unarrest Her Arrested Development; Or, Why It's Never Too Late for Her Dumb Ass to Learn Why Froot Loops Are Not for Dinner: In Such a Pretty Fat, Jen Lancaster learned how to come to terms with her body. In My Fair Lazy, she expanded her mind. Now the New York Times bestselling author gives herself—and her generation—a kick in the X, by facing her greatest challenge to date: acting her age.

Jen is finally ready to put away childish things (except her Barbie Styling Head, of course) and embrace the investment-making, mortgage-carrying, life-insurance-having adult she’s become. From getting a mammogram to volunteering at a halfway house, she tackles the grown-up activities she’s resisted for years, and with each rite of passage she completes, she’ll uncover a valuable—and probably humiliating—life lesson that will ease her path to full-fledged, if reluctant, adulthood.

CHICK LIT IS NOT DEAD PRESENTS...JEN LANCASTER'S 5 DO'S AND A DO-OVER

Greetings from the Jeneration X World (okay, National) Tour!  I'm delighted to be here at Chick Lit Is Not Dead again and so pleased to share this latest round of Dos and a Do-Over. Thanks, ladies - you rock!

Although I'm fairly prolific in telling people what they should and should not do, it's nice when my advice is actually solicited instead of, um... offered anyway. (Read: communicated from the front seat of my car by way of the horn and an obscene finger gesture.)  But seriously, if some kid feels it's imperative to post on Facebook while driving and thus endanger my life over a scintillating missive regarding her great distaste for Mondays, then it's MY job to set her straight.

Not just for me, though.

For the future of America.

The topic of the way things ought to be has been weighing heavily on my mind ever since I began writing Jeneration X, a guide to helping reluctant adults everywhere grow up!  (I realize it's difficult to take the great leap to maturity, but I've done all the hard work for you.)  This book is a bit of a throwback to my early work, meaning I've gotten a little too nice in my past few memoirs. But fear not... the bitch from Bitter is back!

And with that being said, here we go!

1. DO stop flying by the seat of your pants.  For the longest time, I let important things like writing a will fall by the wayside.  I didn't want to have to face the idea of my own mortality so I evaded the whole process.  In my head, I equivocated "no will" with "no untimely demise."  But after one particularly turbulent cross-country flight, it occurred to me that I needed more than a cocktail napkin declaring "I leave everything to my pit bull Maisy" if things suddenly went awry.  Didn't want to do one, but I did it anyway.  Now I'm not prematurely aging from the stress of having so many loose ends, which, clearly, is a priority.

2. DO believe you can accomplish anything you set your mind to, but not in that "I've had zero formal training, yet I'm shocked I didn't make it to Hollywood on American Idol" way.  Dream big, but understand that success doesn't happen by accident.  Put in the effort to cultivate your talent and then you'll be unstoppable.

3. DO your homework when it comes to your bottom line.  Now's the time to take advantage of those lower interest rates, boring though the process may seem.  A quick caveat here - try not to get so wrapped up watching an internet girl-fight before you leave that you barely have enough time to get dressed and, thus, end up throwing on a bra that's too tight and spend the whole refinancing meeting quietly moaning about the shackles binding your chest.  And then also remember that the bank's reflective windows mean you can't see in, but they can see out.  So, when you remove your bra all Flashdance-style in the parking lot, you will have an unintended audience.  I realize this is a very specific example, but trust me when I say the new bank will not be impressed with applicants who strip in the parking lot.

4. DO spread the love.  Over the years, I've learned that my favorite people are other authors.  You'd think that we'd all be ultra-competitive with one another so I was pleasantly surprised at what a supportive sisterhood I've found in wonderful writers like Caprice Crane, Karyn Bosnak, Stacey Ballis, Quinn Cummings, Sarah Pekkanen, Jennifer Weiner, Emily Giffin, Allison Winn Scotch, Jane Green, and Beth Harbison (and many, many others.) Writing isn't Highlander in that there can be only one.  And this year, at Jen Weiner's suggestion, we're making it our job to champion up and coming authors because it's tough sledding out there for the new gals and we want to do what we can to help them reach larger audiences.

5. DO live in the moment.  I got my start as a writer when I was laid off ten years ago.  In that time while I was searching for a job, I never once just enjoyed the moment.  Granted it's hard to unclench when the wolves are at the door, but I feel like if I'd ever stopped for one second and thought, "For the next couple of hours, I should quit worrying and just appreciate that I don't have eleven bosses telling me what to do," then I probably would have been a lot less intense in my job interviews.  In retrospect, I am very happy with how it all turned out, but I wish I could have cut myself a small break now and again.

And finally...

DO NOT hire the cheapest accountant you can find.  Believe me when I say this is the most expensive lesson I ever learned. Ditto for doctors and lawyers.  These are instances where credentials far outweigh savings.

So... that's it!  Again, ladies, thanks so much for having me and don't forget, it's never too late to unarrest your arrested development.  I know I've crossed over to the dark side of adulthood, but it's clean and nice over here and we never run out of toilet paper...

Thank YOU, Jen!

xoxo,

L&L

To find out more about Jen Lancaster, check out her website and follow her on Facebook and Twitter.

5 Things We Love About Jennifer Weiner + Giveaway & Exciting News!

How much do we love Jennifer Weiner?  Let us count the ways... But before we do, we have to tell you that we love wayyy more than FIVE things about this superstar author, but we knew we had to control ourselves and limit our list. For our sake and for yours (and probably hers too or she'd think we were stalkers).

But before we start gushing, let us give you the scoop on what's coming up for Jennifer Weiner and what you can win here today--not to mention what you can get for FREE!

Jennifer Weiner's hit book, Then Came You, is out in paperback May 8! If you didn't get a chance to devour this amazeballs novel (sorry, Lisa was watching Guiliana Rancic last night and her saying is stuck in her head) last year- or even if you did- snap up a copy of this book just in time for summer.(Last year, it was hailed as one of the top beach reads of the season.)

The scoop on Then Came You: An “unexpected” love story, Then Came You tells the tale of four women and a baby -- and at a time when women are waiting longer to have children and the definition of “family” has changed dramatically, Then Came You is certain to strike up some provocative debates.  With her laugh-out-loud humor, startling tenderness, and spot-on characterizations, Jennifer takes readers into the hearts and minds of women everywhere in a timely story that intertwines themes of class and entitlement, surrogacy and donorship, parental rights and the definition of motherhood.

And guess what? We've got 5 copies to give away! Just leave a comment and be entered to win. We'll randomly select the winners on Monday, May 7 after 6PM PST.

And, that's not all!

On May 8th, SWIM, an original ebook short story by Jennifer Weiner will be available for free download wherever ebooks are sold. SWIM is originally from Jen's short story collection The Guy Not Taken and is also the inspiration for her forthcoming novel, The Next Best Thing, out July 3.

And that's, of course, not all!

Be on the look out because Jen is going to be our guest to celebrate the release of The Next Best Thing and, you guessed it, we'll have 5 copies to give away!

5 THINGS LIZ AND LISA LOVE ABOUT...JENNIFER WEINER

1. Three words: Good in Bed. We fell in love at first word with her dazzling debut!

2. She's not afraid to speak her mind. A staunch defender of not only Chick Lit but women writers and women in general--she's our hero! (Swoon!)

3. She live tweets The Bachelor! Bachelor watcher or not, her live tweets during this highly addictive reality show are beyond hilarious- she even Tweets about the commercials! Time Magazine didn't name hers one of the 140 Best Twitter Feeds for nothin'! @Jenniferweiner

4. Her website is not only awesome, but totally UP TO DATE.  For two anal retentive, Type-A women looking for current info, we bone out over this sort of thing. Just sayin'.

5. She is a MAJOR multi-tasker.  She's written a bazillion books and even developed a TV show on ABC Family last year.  Hello, Superwoman!

xoxo, Liz & Lisa

Lit IT Girl: Debut Author Deborah Michel

Our latest Lit IT Girl: Deborah Michel Why she's fit to wear the Lit IT Girl crown: Her writing is sharp, witty and genuine.

Her debut: Prosper in Love

The dealio on it: From the start, Lynn and Jamie Prosper were one of those couples that seem meant to be--so content with each other that they barely notice the rest of the world nodding approvingly at their wedded bliss.

True, Jamie has been working so hard and traveling so much as a young lawyer that he hardly has enough energy to show his devotion. Not that Lynn, a junior museum curator, has any reason to question it. But when Lynn's old college friend turns up at a cocktail party, chinks in their marriage's previously unassailable armor start to show.

Teaser: Read an excerpt of Prosper in Love

Our thoughts: She more than nailed this novel about and the complexities of marriage. She's definitely an author to put not only on your radar but on your bookshelf.

Fun fact: Deborah says Prosper in Love was inspired in part by her own marriage.

Giveaway: 5 copies! Leave a comment and be entered to win. We'll randomly select the winners on Monday, May 7 after 6pm EST.

How to find Deborah: Her website and Facebook.

CHICK LIT IS NOT DEAD PRESENTS...LIT IT GIRL: DEBUT AUTHOR DEBORAH MICHEL

1. How many agents did you query before you found “the one”? I have two different answers to this question. The first is probably forty from start to finish. I have a card catalog with all their names and info, but it’s too painful, even now, to count them up. My other answer, though, is just a few, and I can maybe even say one. I sent out my novel out to lots of agents over YEARS in a series of drafts. I had some very nice nibbles and even a long, drawn out bite. But no cigar. I thought long and hard about what I’d written and ultimately decided that everything I wanted to be in the book wasn’t quite there, so I buckled down to one last draft. Once I was done, I felt that I’d finally nailed the story, that even if it didn’t sell this time, I could finally put it away knowing I’d written the best possible version of it I could. I sent it out to three new agents—and they all responded enthusiastically. My (wonderful!) agent today happens to be the first one who—almost immediately—got back to me.

2. What’s a line from your “favorite” rejection letter? This wasn’t exactly from a rejection letter, but one editor told my agent she simply couldn’t find the marital mishaps of a young couple compelling—that they’d only been married two and a half years, so who cared?.

3. What was the hardest part about writing your debut novel? Definitely forcing myself through all those drafts. The trying, the waiting, the trying again, the waiting. I’d heard writers talk about the dozens of drafts they’d go through, but I never quite understood what that meant, or believed it. Of course, now I know to go through those drafts before I sent out the book!

4. What is the best/worst advice you received while you were trying to break into the book biz? The best, and really only advice, was not to give up. Again and again I heard published authors say that they’d be in writing groups and the best writer in the group wasn’t always the one who made it, it was the one who persevered. The other best advice was to read everything (or as much as you can manage) out loud. That’s priceless. Bad advice? None really, although my father-in-law did once comment that he thought a person should be able to knock out a book in 4 months or so.

5. How did you celebrate your book deal? Quite a bit jumping around my kitchen, squealing. And I was taken out for a great dinner by my family. We’re not counting new shoes, are we?

6. Who is your writer crush? Living or dead? I am a diehard Anthony Trollope fan. You’ll see what I mean if you read PROSPER IN LOVE. Living, I’d say Helen Simonson. When I read MAJOR PETTIGREW’S STAND I felt so happy and envious. That’s the company I’d love to be in. But I know that in a minute or two I’m going to think of twenty other crushes.

7. If you were stranded on a desert island and could have only one book, what would it be? This is going to sound so pretentious, but Proust’s IN SEARCH OF LOST TIME. Can I count all the volumes as one book? But it’s not all high-minded seriousness—that man could write a party scenes!

8. What’s on your iPod right now? This is another question I’m embarrassed to answer. I don’t listen to much music, never when I’m writing. But I’ve been thinking about a novel set in the 80s—I was a nightlife columnist in New York back then—so I just downloaded a lot of Chaka Khan, Rick James, Roxy Music. It’s that and Mahler. I’m a nerd.

9. What’s your #1 stress reliever?  Pilates. I tell people (my husband!) it’s to counterbalance all that slumping over a computer. But the real reason is that my instructor often ends the session with a 10 minute foot massage.

10. Who/what would you place in the center of the Entertainment Weekly bullseye? Alan Cummings on THE GOOD WIFE. Or wait, can he share the bullseye with Chris Noth?

Thanks, Deborah!

xoxo,

L&L

Beth Kendrick's 5 Things I'd Tell The Teen Me

Our guest today: Beth Kendrick Why we love her: Her fiction is fun and frothy!

Her latest book: The Lucky Dog Matchmaking Service

The dealio on it: Lara Madigan has a gift. She can help you find your soulmate—your canine soulmate, that is. As a dog trainer with a soft spot for strays, she’s found perfect homes for sulky Shih Tzus,  broken-down Border collies, and diabolical Dalmatians. But while she’ll always make room for one more rescue mutt, she’s not sure she’s ready to commit to another human being. Especially after her live-in boyfriend drops the bomb: He’s not a dog person.

Horrified and temporarily homeless, Lara and her furry pack move in with her mother, a wealthy fashionista who forbids even a single drop of drool. As word gets around the exclusive gated community, Lara is overwhelmed with demands for her services. A model wants personal training for her overweight “flabrador”; an aging socialite preps her pedigreed puppy for dog show domination... If Lara can survive the breakup, the outrageous requests of her high-maintenance clientele, and her dogs’ systematically destruction of her mother’s McMansion, she might finally find the rescue dog who rescues her in return-- leading her straight to the guy who could be her perfect match.

Our thoughts: We're complete suckers for books that include dogs.  Count us IN!

Fun fact: Liz met Beth a few years ago for coffee when she was visiting the Los Angeles area, and discovered she was just as delightful as her writing.

Giveaway: TWO copies!  Leave a comment and we'll choose a winner this Monday, May 7th, after 6pm PST.

CHICK LIT IS NOT DEAD PRESENTS...5 THINGS I'D TELL THE TEEN ME

1. If he’s into you, you’ll know it; if he’s not, you’ll be confused. Boys are really not that hard to figure out.  And there are too many great ones out there to waste your time with emotionally unavailable libertines. You deserve to be with someone who adores you and whom you adore. UPDATE: I just talked to a male friend who informed me that the rule for teenage boys is: “If you like her, ignore her.”

So…maybe we’re all just destined to be confused forever?

2. Never wrestle with a pig--you both get dirty and the pig enjoys it. Some people are just not worth the time, energy and drama.  Don’t engage; walk away.

3. “Have more than thou showest / Speak less than thou knowest.” -Shakespeare You don’t need a lot of visible designer labels to validate your existence.  Joy and confidence come from within.  Discretion—both social and financial—is a powerful asset.

4. Leap and the net will appear. I know you think this whole writing thing will never pan out, and you’d be better off with a more “practical” career, but honey, here’s the thing: You’re not practical. And you never will be. Yes, you’ll have to work really hard and yes, you’ll have to do your research and pay your dues, but at the end of the day, you need to take a leap of faith and do what you love. (Oh, and your future co-workers will be canine, so you might want to start stockpiling lint brushes and Swiffers now.)

5. Travel whenever you get the chance. Globetrotting is so much easier now than it will be in 15 years, when you’ll have book deadlines, a mortgage, and a small child. Oh, and P.S.: Air travel is going to turn into a hassle and a half in the next millennium. Get out there and see the world while the getting’s good!

Thanks Beth! xoxo, L&L

To read more about Beth, head on over to her website or find her on Twitter and Facebook.

Jill Conner Browne's 5 Things I'd Tell the Teen Me

Today's guest: Jill Conner Browne Why we love her: What's not to love? She's the Sweet Potato Queen!

Her latest: Fat is the New 30: The Sweet Potato Queens' Guide to Coping With (the crappy parts of) Life

The scoop: Her father taught her there are very few situations in life that we really and truly cannot change, and it is up to us to figure out how to either make fun OUT of them — or make fun OF them. And fortunately for the rest of us, Browne is well equipped for both. Including the exploits of the Queen contingent and her family, she delivers applicable tidbits like:

* Thinking or talking about watermelon can save any negative situation.

* If you get drunk in Scotland, you can’t have your cow with you.

* When sanity and reason fail, you can always cheerfully resort to ridicule.

* Denial means that every situation is perfectly perfect.

Our thoughts: Just when we thought her books couldn't get any funnier, she writes this one (this is her ninth)! Thanks for the serious LOL's, Jill!

Fun fact: There are over 6,000 Sweet Potato Queen chapters around the country.

Giveaway: 3 copies! Just leave a comment & we'll randomly select the winners after 6pm PST on Monday, April 30th.

CHICK LIT IS NOT DEAD PRESENTS...JILL CONNER BROWNE'S 5 THINGS I'D TELL THE TEEN ME

1.  No tanning beds and no drinking from straws:  See "alligator hides" and "purse mouth"--no cure for either and you will have both before you can blink.

2.  Get in shape NOW and STAY that way--playing catch-up is endless and agonizing.

3.  Do not waste your tears on someone who makes you cry.

4.  A Boyfriend Who Sucks is NOT better than No Boyfriend at All.  He's a boyfriend--who sucks! (Same applies to "Girlfriends," naturally.)

5.  Do what you will WISH you had done when you're 50--which you will BE before you can believe it.

Thanks, Jill! xoxo, L&L

To find out more about the fabulous Jill Conner Browne, visit her website and follow her on Facebook and Twitter.

Must have eBooks for Spring!

It's that time of year again-the flowers are blooming, we've just put our boots away and are ready to take down the top on the convertible. It's Spring!  But what we really need? A good eBook to chill with while the kids play in the pool! So we put together of list of a few that looked fun. And OF COURSE we have a couple for giveaway too. Read on to what we're digging for Spring...

Blame It On The Fame by Tracie Banister A power-trippin’ bitch, a has-been, a skanky ex-model, a press-shy indie queen, and a British stage actress no one knows – that’s how the Best Actress hopefuls in this year’s too-close-to-call Oscar race cattily describe each other. Which of them will win the much-coveted gold statue and what price will they be forced to pay as they travel the red carpeted-path to Hollywood glory?

Amidst all the press-schmoozing and angsting over which designer gown to wear, these Oscar contenders feud, commiserate, and face a succession of personal crises – scandalous secrets come to light, marriages implode, accidents land two nominees in the hospital while another receives news that could derail her career, all culminating on Tinsel Town’s biggest night when anything can happen, and does. GIVEAWAY: TWO e-Copies! Leave a comment by Sunday April 29th at 6pm PST.

Find Tracie on Twitter and at her her blog.

Sugarfiend by Caroline Burau If her life is a box of chocolates, acid-tongued, sugar-obsessed Estelle Brown should learn how to pick them better. Her boyfriend’s left her for a bulimic hand model, her roommate’s skipped town, and her boss is in love with her. In the middle of her latest of a lifetime of doomed diet attempts – cutting sugar cold turkey – Estelle decides to quit quitting for good, pack her bags, and lose herself on a 7-day Caribbean cruise.

But even on a floating monument to binge eating, the diet industry follows her. Across from every buffet is a studio full of treadmills. Next to every plate of fried calamari is a large diet Coke. As a ship full of wary passengers ducks for cover, Hurricane Estelle wages her own personal war against moderation. But the consequences land her in the belly of the beast: broke, alone, and forced to take a job as –of all things-- a detox consultant for the ship.

Is Skinny the answer to Happy? Is Sweet ‘n Low the new black? Is that Denise Austin chick … for real? No, no, and yes . . . oddly. But for a Sugarfiend, it’s not the destination that matters, it’s all the cupcakes you get to eat along the way. GIVEAWAY: TWO e-Copies.  Just leave a comment by Sunday April 28th at 6pm PST!

To read more about Caroline, find her on Twitter.

Sneak Peak: Dancing Naked in Dixie by Lauren Clark (out May 21st!) Travel writer Julia Sullivan lives life in fast-forward. She jet sets to Europe and the Caribbean with barely a moment to blink or sleep. But too many mishaps and missed deadlines have Julia on the verge of being fired.

With a stern warning, and unemployment looming, she's offered one last chance to rescue her career. Julia embarks on an unlikely journey to the ‘Heart of Dixie’—Eufaula, Alabama—home to magnificent mansions, sweet tea, and the annual Pilgrimage.

Julia arrives, soon charmed by the lovely city and her handsome host, but her stay is marred by a shocking discovery. Can Julia's story save her career, Eufaula, and the annual Pilgrimage? GIVEAWAY: TWO e-Copies!  Leave a comment by Sunday April 29th at 6pm PST and you'll be entered to win!

To learn more about Lauren, head on over to her website or find her on Facebook and Twitter.

Thanks y'all!  And happy Spring! Now go plant some flowers already. xoxo, L&L

The Dos and Don'ts of pitching to book bloggers

So you've written the next great thing in fiction.  But how do you get the word out about it? Unless you've been hiding under a rock for the past few years, you've probably noticed that blog tours are the quickest and easiest way to reach your target audience.  In fact, whoring yourself around the blogosphere can be vital to your novel's success! Only one problem: you have to get booked on the right book blogs!

How do you do that, you ask?  Well, we're here to give you our two cents based on our own experience-what pitches make us swoon and which ones cause us to hit the delete button faster than you can say Kim and Kanye are in love.

THE DO AND DON'TS OF PITCHING TO BOOK BLOGGERS

1. Call us by name. Take the time to personalize each email you send with the book bloggers name and maybe even a few words why you think their site is a good fit or which feature you like best.  Not only does it make us feel like you've done your homework, but we'll be much more likely to take a good look at your book. It's our policy to respond to every pitch-but we make exceptions for ones that have obviously been sent to a bazillion people. Bottom line: BCCing multiple blogs in your pitch is like wearing white after labor day-tacky!  (And PS, if you start with a generic "Hi there", you aren't fooling anybody...)

2. DO your research. If someone runs a chick lit site, you probably shouldn't pitch them vampire historical fiction.  Just sayin'.  Do your homework and pitch the sites that have the right audience for your book. Don't know where to start? Check out this list of the Top 50 book blogs.

3. DO give us the 411. ALWAYS include the premise of the story in the body of the email. In fact, it should resemble something like an agent query letter-a one or two paragraph synopsis followed by a paragraph about the author and release date, etc. Just putting a link to your site or Amazon page and telling us to check it out just seems, well, LAZY!

4.  DO be sassy  We're not going to lie-there have been books that we may have turned down if the author hadn't sounded so fun and sassy in their pitch. If your book is fun(or even if it isn't!), make sure you show some of that spunk in your email.

5. DO think about having someone do it for you. There are some great blog tours companies that will do all the leg work.  Check out CLP blog tours, BookSparks PR or TLC Book Tours to see if they're right for you.

6. But DON'T have your Mom/sister/aunt/second cousin pitch it for you. Happens way more often than you would think. Seriously!

7. DON'T take it personally. Think twice before shooting off an angry email if a site has turned you down. For us, it might just not be what we feel like reading at the moment or possibly the premise isn't a good fit for the site. Or maybe our TBR pile is a mile high and we know we won't have time to get to your book if we request it. Bottom line: Rejection is a huge part of writing. As authors, we've had more than our fair share-so we totally get it! But the last thing you want to do is burn bridges.  Just keep your head up and move on to the next one.

Hope that helps!  We LOVE getting the word out about new authors and books and are truly grateful for all the support and love we've received over the years.  We wish all of y'all the very best with your pitches.

Now TELL US-do you have anything to add to this list?

xoxo, Liz & Lisa

7 Seconds in Heaven with...Devan Sipher

Today's guest: Devan Sipher Why we love him: His debut novel is romantic, funny and poignant.

His debut: The Wedding Beat

The scoop: Gavin Greene isn't only a hopeless romantic, he's a professional one: He writes the wedding column for a prize-winning newspaper, covering A-list parties from coast to coast.  But there's a thin line between being a hotshot reporter on assignment...and being a single guy alone on a Saturday night. Everything changes on New Year's when Gavin meets Melinda, a travel writer with an adventurous spirit.  A moonlit walk across a Manhattan rooftop seems to seal the deal, but she slips away. Gavin crisscrosses New York City to find her again. And he learns there's something worse than losing the woman of his dreams—having to write an article about her wedding.

Our thoughts: A romcom written by a man! (*swoon*)

Fun fact: Devan's been writing the Vows column at the New York Times for five years. According to his website, rumor has it that in the movie 27 Dresses, the actor James Marsden portrayed him — but with better hair.

Giveaway: 5 copies. Just leave a comment and you'll be entered to win. We'll randomly select the winners this Monday, April 30 after 6pm.

CHICK LIT IS NOT DEAD PRESENTS...7 SECONDS IN HEAVEN WITH DEVAN SIPHER

1.    I always walk on the sunny side of the street.  I’m not a cockeyed optimist.  I just crave sunshine.  It’s very hard for me to stay inside and write on a sunny day (not that it’s all that easy for me to write on cloudy ones).  Maybe it’s from being born in southern California.  Or it could be a Vitamin D deficiency. 2.    I’m addicted to cereal and ice cream.  But not together.  It took a lot of bowls of cereal and cartons of ice cream for me to write a book.  Of course, lots of ice cream doesn’t go well with sitting sedentary at one’s desk for hours, so frozen yogurt is also high on the list.  I recently discovered Yogurtland, which has a dozen or so flavors of nonfat frozen yogurt that you can serve yourself in any amount and any combination.  I think of it as Disneyland for frozen yogurt. 3.    I love to travel.  I’ve never traveled anywhere I didn’t want to stay.  But it’s not just what I see and do.  It’s who I am.  I like the person I become when I travel.  More spontaneous.  More open to trying new things.  So even when home in New York, I often pretend I’m visiting from out of town, stopping at any café, park (or ice cream stand) that sparks my interest. 4.     I have prepubescent taste in music.  Fortunately, there’s a steady supply of prepubescents, so there’s always new music to download onto my iPod.  But I draw the line at Justin Bieber. 5.     I like learning new things.  I learned Spanish for a recent trip to Spain.  Not well enough to actually converse with anyone, but I could read menus pretty well.  A year ago, while writing my book, I decided to learn how to make pizza from scratch (it wasn’t difficult, but it sounds impressive to people who don’t know that.)  I made pizza every day the entire winter.  I made pizza for lunch.  Pizza for dinner.  Pizza for friends.  Haven’t made it once since. 6.    If I had one wish, I’d wish for three more.   7.    Put me near mountains or water, and I’m a happy guy.  (I mentioned I’m from southern California, right?)  Living in Manhattan, I frequently go running along the Hudson River, simply to remind myself that I live on an island.  When I’m in LA, I go running along the coast between Venice and Santa Monica.  Then I take my shoes off and walk back in the surf.  I’d like my last moment on this planet to be sitting on a beach looking out at the waves.  And while I’m putting in requests, I’d like that last moment to be with someone by my side.

Thanks, Devan!

xoxo,

L&L

If you want to find out more about Devan Sipher, visit his website and follow him on Facebook and Twitter.

Laura Dave's 5 Things I'd Tell the Teen Me

Today's guest: Laura Dave Why we love her: She was one of our first ever author crushes

Her latest: The First Husband (Out in paperback tomorrow- April 24!)

The scoop: Annie Adams thinks she has it all. Her longtime boyfriend, Nick, is on the verge of becoming a successful film director, her travel column is nationally syndicated, and they've got a great dog. Her life finally feels like it is falling into place. Until, out of nowhere, Nick announces that he's reconnected with a woman from his past and he's moving out. Reeling from Nick's exit, Annie stumbles into her neighborhood bar and finds Griffin, a down to earth chef who seems to be everything she didn't know she wanted. Three months later, they're married. And Annie finds herself in a small Massachusetts town -- completely unmoored and wondering if she's picked a life on the rebound. When Nick returns, wanting a second chance, Annie's stuck: truly torn between her husband and the man she may have been meant to marry.

Our thoughts: The First Husband not only has one of the best titles and book covers out there, but it's a fresh and satisfying story about something we can all relate to--finding "the one."

Fun fact: Lisa first met Laura at Laura's book signing for The Divorce Party (another of our faves!) and sheepishly handed her a copy of our novel, I'll Have Who She's Having. Laura not only accepted it graciously, but actually read it-- proving herself to be an author who never forgets how hard it is to break into this biz.

Giveaway: 5 copies of The First Husband. Just leave a comment and be entered to win. We'll randomly select the winners on Monday, April 30 after 6pm PST.

CHICK LIT IS NOT DEAD PRESENTS...LAURA DAVE'S 5 THINGS I'D TELL THE TEEN ME

1. Remember that you barely passed your driving test.  No need to celebrate by speeding down Fox Meadow Road and getting pulled over a mere seven hours later.  Cry like they do in the movies.  It is the only thing that will save you.

2. Also remember: This is not an episode of My So Called Life.  Seriously, we know you’d like it to be.  But please stop dating the guys who remind you of Jordan Catalano.  Even Angela Chase realized that Krakow was where it was at!  Believe me: One day, in your not too distant future, you’ll realize this too.  And you’ll meet the kind of guy that puts Jordan Catalano to shame.

3. You know more than you think you do.  Give yourself a break.  You may feel like you’re missing something when your ideas of fun and happiness don’t mesh with everyone else’s, but that’s what makes you interesting.  Welcome the quirky, crazy way your mind works—and welcome it in other people.  What makes us feel left out is often the reason we stand out.  Say it to yourself five times fast.

4. Dance more.  Yes, you can be shy, but you love to dance!  So get onto the dance floor, close your eyes, and enjoy yourself.  It’s not just about the dancing.  If you teach yourself to step out of your comfort zone now, you’ll be less inclined to feel embarrassed later on by the other things you really want to do.  So boogie-down, sister.  (Side note: Just don’t do it in your polka dot taffeta dress.  That is still embarrassing.)

5. Learn to cook.  One day, cooking will bring tons of joy to your life.  Why not start now?  You may think it’s uncool, or that you have better things to do, but you already love hanging in the kitchen.  Your mother is a great cook. Spend time with her while she cooks.  There are things you’ll pick up this way that will take twice as long to figure out on your own.  Plus, there’s a TV in the kitchen.  Put Gilmore Girls on in the background while you sauté.  Luke is a TV boyfriend everyone can aspire to.

Thanks, Laura!

xoxo,

Liz & Lisa

To find out more about the fabulous Laura Dave, visit her website and follow her on Facebook and Twitter.

Lit IT Girl: Debut author Jennifer Gooch Hummer

Today's guest: Jennifer Gooch Hummer Why we love her: Her dazzling debut reminds us why we love to mix it up with a great YA novel.

Her debut: Girl Unmoored

The scoop:  Apron Bramhall has come unmoored. It’s 1985 and her mom has passed away, her evil stepmother is pregnant, and her best friend has traded her in for a newer model. Fortunately, she’s about to be saved by Jesus. Not that Jesus—the actor who plays him in Jesus Christ, Superstar. Apron is desperate to avoid the look-alike Mike (no one should look that much like Jesus unless they can perform a miracle or two), but suddenly he’s everywhere. Until one day, she’s stuck in church with him—of all places. And then something happens; Apron’s broken teenage heart blinks on for the first time since she’s been adrift.

Mike and his grumpy boyfriend, Chad, offer her a summer job in their flower store, Apron’s world seems to calm. But when she uncovers Chad’s secret, coming of age becomes almost too much bear. She’s forced to see things the adults around her fail to—like what love really means and who is paying too much for it.

Our thoughts: Loved. With a capital L-O-V-E-D.

Giveaway: 5 copies. Just leave a comment and be entered to win. We'll randomly select the winners after 6pm on Sunday, April 22.

CHICK LIT IS NOT DEAD PRESENTS...Lit IT Girl Debut author Jennifer Gooch Hummer

1. How many agents did you query before you found "the one"? Oh boy. Agents. Well it took me about two years and fifty-ish rejections to get my first agent. This one was at a huge talent agency and I had first queried her “boss” whom I had a college connection with. My connection ended up passing my information onto the agent she was training, and this junior agent ended up representing me. When she couldn’t sell my first book (which is now Girl Unmoored) she told me to put it aside and write another book. I did. This second novel is a chick lit and just when she started pitching it, she left the agency. I went with her to her new agency, but felt like she had given up on me. So we parted ways. I then entered the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award and ended up making it to the semi-final round. I thought this would help with the agent querying process. It didn’t. After another fifty rejections, I was finally picked out of a slush pile and offered representation. The weird thing is that I ended up getting my own book deal for Girl Unmoored after submitting it to the publisher myself.

2. What's a line from your "favorite" rejection letter? “Dear ________,”

Sometimes they don’t even fill in your name!

3. What was the hardest part about writing your debut novel? Not giving up. I wrote the novel in two years and spent the next eight trying to get it published. In that time, I was constantly rewriting, querying, submitting. A sane person would have quit, but writers aren’t really sane. I ended up framing a piece of paper with “I’m quitting…. tomorrow!” on it and keeping it on my desk. I meant it too, but then there was tomorrow… and tomorrow… and tomorrow… It’s a strange but effective strategy for me to keep writing.

4. What is the best/worst advice you received while you were trying to break into the book biz? Best: Anne Lamott’s advice to allow yourself to write the most horrible, pathetic, lame-o first draft possible. Because no one is ever going to see this draft, and inside all that awful-ness is the beautiful gem of your story that you’ll find in your second draft.

Worst: Quit, you’re never going to get published anyway. (But that was me saying that to myself. Luckily I didn’t listen.)

5. How did you celebrate your book deal? Quietly, because I’m really superstitious and generally suspecting. I got the email from my publisher while we were in Maine where we live in the summer. When my husband called from France (he’s a sport broadcaster and was covering the Tour de France) he was surrounded by his co-workers so I didn’t want to tell him. But my daughters, who I’d just read the email to, made me. Just like I thought, he had the whole crew congratulate me - exactly what I didn’t want him to do. I’d had so many close calls up to that point that I wasn’t a hundred percent sure this one was going to be it. I proved myself wrong though. And have since suffered through my family’s constant reminder of what a buzz-kill I am. But now every day that I wake up knowing my book is finally published is the real celebration.

6. Who is your writer crush? David Sedaris. I needed windshield wipers for my eyes while I was reading Me Talk Pretty One Day. That man is hi-larious. He has such a gifted way of describing the most mundane yet absolutely hysterical events of every day life. I wish he’d rewrite The Constitution. That would be the best!

7. If you were stranded on a desert island and could have only one book, what would it be? Eckhart Tolle’s A New Earth.

8. What's on your iPod right now? I have no idea because we have a family iTunes account so whatever my daughters and husband have recently purchased just shows up on mine. For the past two weeks it’s been The Hunger Games album non-stop. But yesterday my nine year-old discovered Justin Beiber’s “Boyfriend” so I’m guessing I’ll be running to that pretty soon. It’s a good song actually.

9. What's your #1 stress reliever? Exercising. I swim on a master’s swim team every weekday morning at 5:30 so I’m ahead on the day. I also run or spin or go to a barre class. If I don’t work out, I’m really hard to live with.

10. Who/what would you place in the center of the Entertainment Weekly bullseye? AAPL   (Apple Stock)

Thanks, Jennifer!

xoxo,

Liz & Lisa

To find out more about Jennifer Gooch Hummer, visit her website and follow her on Facebook and Twitter.

Liza Palmer's 5 Things I'd Tell The Teen Me

Our guest today: Liza Palmer

Why we love her: We fell in love with Liza when we read  Seeing Me Naked and we've been crushin' ever since.

Her latest book: More Like Her

The scoop on it: In Frances’s mind, beautiful, successful, ecstatically married Emma Dunham is the height of female perfection. Frances, recently dumped with spectacular drama by her boyfriend, aspires to be just like Emma. So do her close friends and fellow teachers, Lisa and Jill. But Lisa’s too career-focused to find time for a family. And Jill’s recent unexpected pregnancy could have devastating consequences for her less-than-perfect marriage.

Yet sometimes the golden dream you fervently wish for turns out to be not at all what it seems—like Emma’s enviable suburban postcard life, which is about to be brutally cut short by a perfect husband turned killer. And in the shocking aftermath, three devastated friends are going to have to come to terms with their own secrets . . . and somehow learn to move forward after their dream is exposed as a lie.

Our thoughts: Another winner from one of our favorite authors!  Put it in your beach bag pronto! Not to mention we LOVE the cover.

Fun fact: Liz was so inspired by Seeing Me Naked  that she wrote her first author stalkerish gushing email to Liza years ago.  She wrote back an encouraging and kind note the next day!

Giveaway: FIVE copies!  Just leave a comment and we'll choose the winners on Monday, April 23rd after 6pm PST.

CHICK LIT IS NOT DEAD PRESENTS: LIZA PALMER'S 5 THINGS I'D TELL THE TEEN ME

1.  No one has it together.  Everyone is just as much of a wreck as you are, despite how great their hair looks.

2.  Tori Amos will only get awesomer.

3.  Blending in?  Normal?  These aren't as cool as you think they are.  Standing out and being different are actually what's going to make your life worth living.

4.  Yes, your family is just as magnificent as you think they are.  But, magnificent doesn't necessarily mean easy or perfect.  Magnificent things rarely are.

5.  Stop wearing those batik pants.  And if you can't stop wearing them, for the love of all that's holy, stop pegging them.

Thanks Liza! xoxo, L&L

To read more about Liza, head on over to her website or find her on Facebook and Twitter.

Beth Gutcheon's 5 Things I'd Tell the Teen Me

Our guest today: Beth Gutcheon Why we love her: Who doesn't like to have a little Gossip in her life?

Her latest book: Gossip

The scoop on it: Loviah "Lovie" French owns a small, high-end dress shop on Manhattan's Upper East Side. Renowned for her taste and discretion, Lovie is the one to whom certain women turn when they need "just the thing" for major life events—baptisms and balls, weddings and funerals—or when they just want to dish in the dressing room. Among the people who depend on Lovie's confidence are her two best friends since boarding school: Dinah Wainwright and Avis Metcalf.

Outspoken and brimming with confidence, Dinah made a name for herself as a columnist covering the doings of New York's wealthiest and most fabulous. Shy, proper Avis, in many ways Dinah's opposite, rose to prominence in the art world with her quiet manners, hard work, and precise judgment. Despite the deep affection they both feel for Lovie, they have been more or less allergic to each other since a minor incident decades earlier that has been remembered and resented with what will prove to be unimaginable consequences.

These uneasy acquaintances become unwillingly bound to each other when Dinah's favorite son and Avis's only daughter fall in love and marry. On the surface, Nick and Grace are the perfect match—a playful, romantic, buoyant, and beautiful pair. But their commitment will be strained by time and change: career setbacks, reckless choices, the birth of a child, jealousies, and rumor. At the center of their orbit is Lovie, who knows everyone's secrets and manages them as wisely as she can. Which is not wisely enough, as things turn out—a fact that will have a shattering effect on all their lives.

Our thoughts: Gossip explores how dangerous too much information can really be.  We couldn't wait for the secrets to spill out!

Fun fact: Beth has a BA in English lit from Harvard.  You go, girl!

Giveaway: FIVE copies!  Leave a comment and we'll choose the winners on Sunday April 15th after 6pm PST.  Good luck!

CHICK LIT IS NOT DEAD PRESENTS...BETH GUTCHEON'S 5 THINGS I'D TELL THE TEEN ME

1. Stop worrying about having to go to bed with curlers in your hair when you're married. Your hair is fine just the way it grows out of your head and when the time comes, your hair will be down to here, your mother, who has to go to the hair parlor every week to achieve the look she thinks is appropriate, will be horrified no matter what you do, and the guy will think it's amazing that you even know what curlers are.

2. You know all the people where you grew up who think that making a life in the arts is sort of like joining the circus, interesting but not in a good way? They may be true for them, but that doesn't make them right. Just because you've never seen anyone do it doesn't mean you won't be able to do it. There are many worlds to live in undreamt of by your parents. Make the best of where you are, and wait for the cage doors to open; they will.

3. By all means, keep a diary, but as social history, not personal wailing wall. If all that is in it is angst and affect, you'll be embarrassed and never look at it when the mood has passed, though your little brother and his friends will . . . surely you don't think that wee lock is going to stop them? Do you really want them knowing that you and Johnny Meybin have a secret place for leaving notes for each other in study hall? But if you keep a straightforward non-private record of the high points of the days, what you did and with whom, what you ate, what it cost, movies you saw and books you read, you will find it absolutely fascinating in later years and actually useful should you decide to write novels. Or your memoirs. Just don't tell it secrets; tell your friends your secrets, and they'll tell you theirs. It's much more fun, and you'll learn more, about them, yourself, and the world.

4. Don't worry if you don't want what you're supposed to want, or like what you're supposed to like. The people who find the world is their oyster when they are teenagers are often really surprised by what happens next.

5. Whoever said that your youth is the happiest time of your life is either full of it or can't remember what it was really like. Being young is horrible because it's like being a character in a story someone else is writing. It's true your skin and your figure will probably never be better and probably nothing in your body hurts, but other than that, it is much more fun to actually understand who you are and where you belong, and to have your own money and friends and make your own choices even when they're mistakes. Just try not to marry any of your mistakes.

Thanks Beth! xoxo, L&L

To read more about Beth, head don over to her website or find her on Facebook and Twitter.

Kim Wright's 5 Things I'd Tell the Teen Me

Today's guest: Kim Wright Why we love her: She's so diverse! Today we're highlighting her latest, a historical mystery. But she also the author of one of our favorite women's fiction novels, Love in Mid Air.

Her latest: City of Darkness

The scoop: City of Darkness takes place in 1888 London, where Jack the Ripper roams the streets with impunity and Scotland Yard seems helpless to stop him.   The science of forensics is in its infancy but a few detectives – Trevor Welles among them – recognize that they are dealing with a different sort of killer, a “modern criminal” who chooses his victims at random.  If Jack is to be caught, he won’t be caught with Scotland Yard’s normal methods of deduction for there is no logic to this madness.   The question is no longer “Why was the victim killed?” but rather “How was the victim killed?”  For the first time in the history of detection, science is trumping deductive reasoning. When a twist of fate puts Trevor in charge of the case, he hastily assembles Scotland Yard’s first forensics team:  Davy Mabrey, the first bobby on the scene of the grisliest of the murders, whose working class common sense proves an invaluable asset, Rayley Abrams, a cautious intellectual whose future at the Yard is marginalized due to his Jewish heritage,  Tom Bainbridge, a medical student with aristocratic connections and a secret drinking problem, and Emma Kelly, sister of the Ripper’s last victim who has a troubled past and a gift for linguistics. The team finds an unlikely ally in the form of Queen Victoria herself, who takes an unusual level of interest in the Ripper case and secretly funds the unit.   But will they stop Jack in time to spare Leanna Bainbridge, the young heiress with whom Trevor has fallen madly and improbably in love?

Fun Fact: City of Darkness is the first in a series of three. City of Light and City of Silence are up next.

Giveaway: 5 copies! (It's a medly-3 e-books and 2 paperbacks!) Just leave a comment and be entered to win. We'll randomly select the winners after 6pm PST on Sunday, April 15.

CHICK LIT IS NOT DEAD PRESENTS...KIM WRIGHT'S 5 THINGS I'D TELL THE TEEN ME

1.     You’re not fat.   Not even close. 2.    Stop sniveling!  Next year at this time you’re not even going to be able to remember that trifling boy’s last name. 3.    Your English teacher is right to make you read all those classics, even if you’re not sure right now exactly why Ahab is chasing that whale or for whom the bell tolls.   Someday you’ll be a writer and you’ll be glad you have that basis.  In fact, all the hard teachers you’re resenting now. …they’re the ones you’ll end up really learning something from and the ones that you’ll remember. 4.    Adulthood is not some place you move to and never leave.   Even when you’re fifty-six, you’ll still be trying new things and learning and changing.  So relax.   This isn’t your one chance to get it right.  Life is going to give you a hundred more times at bat. 5.    You know how much you need your girlfriends?   How everything is okay just as long as you have your posse around you, how anything is endurable as long as you guys can just hang out and be silly and laugh?   Thirty years from now it’s still going to feel exactly the same way.

In light of item four, I’ve just come through a major reinvention – moving from having been published by a Big Six house, to self-publishing and moving  from literary fiction to mysteries.   My new book, City of Darkness is in some ways a radical departure from my first book, Love in Mid Air, and in some ways it’s the chance to circle completely back and return to my roots.  Because I’ve always loved mysteries and always had sort of a sick fascination with Jack the Ripper.   Plus my dad was an antique dealer and I traveled through Europe with him in the summer, so this mystery series is sort of a hybrid of three things I loved as a girl;   crime fiction, history, and travel.

City of Darkness takes place in 1888 London, where Jack the Ripper is pretty much roaming the streets killing prostitutes at will, and Scotland Yard seems helpless to stop him.   The science of forensics is in its infancy but a few detectives recognize that they are dealing with a different sort of killer, a “modern criminal” who chooses his victims at random.   They form the basis of Scotland Yard’s first forensics unit, and in future installments in the series, they’ll travel to high-profile crime scenes in Paris, St. Petersburg, Buenos Aires, and New York.   Can you say “Road Trip”?   That’s one of the things that most excites me about the series – that I can use it as an excuse to revisit some of my favorite cities and go to places like Russia and Argentina, where I’ve never traveled.

Which all goes back to the list above, the things I’d like to have been able to tell my teenaged self.   There was a ticking clock in my head throughout my youth and I think I honestly believed that if I didn’t get certain things done by the time I was 25 I never would, that I would fade into some sort of dull adult who no longer had the curiosity and energy to explore the larger world.   Boy was I wrong.   I feel much freer now than I ever did at seventeen.

Thanks, Kim! xoxo,

Liz & Lisa

To find out more about the fabulous Kim Wright, visit her website.

Sarah Pekkanen's 5 Things I'd Tell the Teen Me

Today's guest: Sarah Pekkanen Why we love her: Her books fit women like the perfect little black dress.

Her latest book: These Girls (Out tomorrow: April 10th!)

The scoop: Cate has just been named the features editor of Gloss, a high-end lifestyle magazine. It’s a professional coup, but her new job comes with more complications than Cate ever anticipated.

Cate’s roommate Renee will do anything to nab the plum job of beauty editor at Gloss. But snide comments about Renee’s weight send her into an emotional tailspin. Soon she is taking black market diet pills—despite the racing heartbeat and trembling hands that signal she’s heading for real danger.

Then there’s Abby, whom they take in as a third roommate. Once a joyful graduate student working as a nanny part time, she abruptly fled a seemingly happy life in the D.C. suburbs. No one knows what shattered Abby—or why she left everything she once loved behind.

Our thoughts: As BFF's for 25 years, to say we relate to the novel's central theme of friendship is an understatement. Hands down, this is Sarah's best book yet. Our question: How does she keep topping herself?

Fun fact: She was the first author we hosted on Chick Lit is Not Dead over three years ago.

Giveaway: 5 copies! Just leave a comment to be entered to win. We'll randomly select the winners on Sunday, April 15 after 6pm PST.

CHICK LIT IS NOT DEAD PRESENTS…SARAH PEKKANEN'S THINGS I’D TELL THE TEEN ME

1. You're not as dorky as you suspect you are.  Stand up straighter and smile and talk to some of the people milling past you in the hallway. I promise they're not all laughing at you behind your back. In fact, many of them are every bit as insecure as you. Even the mean girls. Especially the mean girls! Okay, so don't talk to them, but your high school is bursting with interesting, smart, funny, quirky people. One of them, a blonde girl who also loves to write, will become your best friend two decades after you graduate. Go over and say hi to her - you can do it! (I'm nudging my teen self  in the shoulder now).

2. That spiral perm you're saving up for? Oh, dear God, no - back away from the hair salon, slowly, and your 9th grade pictures won't make you cringe forever. I know you think fun, bouncy curls will make a zippy change from your stick-staright hair. But you're going to end up with a head full of frizz, a look that will not be improved upon when your hair begins to grow out and the top half is stick-straight and the bottom half is a mass of frizz. For the next few months, people will come up to you and say, "Oh... you got a perm." And then there will be a long, painful silence as they desperately try to come up with something positive to say about your new 'do. They will be unsuccessful in their attempts. If you really want a change, put more lemon juice in your hair and sit out by the pool. Yes, I realize that doesn't work, but I'm trying to distract you from the perm horror that awaits you.

3. Keep doing sports. You're on the track team and the field hockey team, and there's no better way for a teenage girl to spend her time. You're checking out the bruises on your shins (admit it, you're proud of them) instead of the size of your ass in the mirror, and that's pretty wonderful. You're learning about teamwork, and commitments, and losing when you want to win more than anything in the world, and giving it your all until you're about to collapse. Those lessons that will serve you well throughout the rest of your life.

4. The local Saks Fifth Avenue that hired you as a teen model? Um, one of the first jobs they're going to call you for will involved you putting on a giant, fuzzy, Winnie-the-Pooh costume. You're not really going to understand why, but they're paying you, so it's all good. Except for the fact that you invited a guy to come see you model, and he will instead witness you lurching around Saks dressed as a bear named Pooh. This may not help your reputation.

5. Stay open, stay hopeful, stay positive. And always follow your heart, kiddo. Like everyone else, you're going to have your share of heartache and sadness. But your'e also going to have a really good life.

Thanks, Sarah! xoxo,

Liz & Lisa

To find out more about the lovely and talented Sarah Pekkanen, visit her website and follow her on Facebook and Twitter.

Susan Mallery's 5 Things I'd Tell the Teen Me

Our guest today: NYT bestselling author Susan Mallery Why we love her: Girlfrin' writes some smokin' hot books! *sizzle*

Her latest: Barefoot Season

The scoop on it: Michelle Sanderson may appear to be a strong, independent woman, but on the inside, she’s still the wounded girl who fled home years ago. A young army vet, Michelle returns to the quaint Blackberry Island Inn to claim her inheritance and recover from the perils of war. Instead, she finds the owner’s suite occupied by the last person she wants to see.

Carly Williams and Michelle were once inseparable, until a shocking betrayal destroyed their friendship. And now Carly is implicated in the financial disaster lurking behind the inn’s cheerful veneer.

Our thoughts: Even if you don't normally read romance, we think you'll love Barefoot Season-it reads more like women's fiction.  So give it a try! You can read Chapter 1 at www.barefootseason.com!

Fun Fact: There's a bunch of fab recipes over at her site-check them out!

Giveaway: FIVE copies!  We'll choose the winners after 6pm PST on Sunday April 8th.  Good luck!

CHICK LIT IS NOT DEAD PRESENTS...SUSAN MALLERY'S 5 THINGS I'D TELL THE TEEN ME

Thanks so much for having me here to celebrate the release of BAREFOOT SEASON! The “5 Things I’d Tell the Teen Me” theme is very appropriate because, although BAREFOOT SEASON is adult fiction rather than YA, the best friends at the center of the story went through a major upheaval when they were teens, and they’re still feeling the reverberation of it now, in their late 20s.

So here are 5 things I’d tell the teen me…

1. Stay in touch with your friends. When you graduate high school, you’ll insist that you’re going to stay in touch with your BFFs, and you will, for a while. But then life happens. You’ll move, and they’ll move, and somewhere along the road, you’ll lose touch. You will miss them. No one will ever know you in quite the same way.

2. Stretch and use sunblock. Using sunblock keeps you young from the outside in, stretching does it from the inside out. Do both, and you’ll get carded well into your 30s. (That will become a good thing, trust me. It’s sad when it stops happening.)

3. You don’t have to try everything… People will imply that you’re narrow-minded if you don’t try stuff they want you to try. Sushi or tattoos or motorcycles or whatever. If your gut tells you something isn’t right for you, don’t succumb to the pressure. It’s okay to decide for yourself what you do or don’t want to try. Forge your own path in life.

4. …but don’t let fear stop you! Don’t mistake fear for wisdom. Just because you’re afraid of something doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it. Do a gut check. Dig deep, and ask yourself, do I really want to? What’s beneath the fear – excitement or disinterest? If the answer is excitement, then do it despite the fear, as long as it’s not illegal, dangerous, or ridiculous. Wait, no. You can do it if it’s ridiculous, especially when you’re young. You grow by taking risks. Have faith that you can handle whatever comes.

5. Boys aren’t jerks just because they don’t want to commit. Sometimes they’re jerks, but not just because of that. My friends and I used to get so mad at boys who didn’t want to be our boyfriends. “Fear of commitment,” we said with identical sneers, as if it meant “evil.” But the truth is, a guy has the right to be single, and he should only commit when he wants to. Otherwise, you both end up in an unhappy relationship, and it’s better to be alone than unhappy. They’re not synonymous. If he’s not into you enough to commit, don’t pressure him. Let go and move on. Not every guy is the One, and you’re not the One for every guy. That’s why they call it the One.

Thanks Susan!  xoxo, L&L

To read more about Susan, head on over to her website or find her on Facebook and Twitter.

Allison Winn Scotch's 5 Things I'd Tell the Teen Me

Our guest today: NYT bestselling author Allison Winn Scotch

Why we love her: Not only is she incredibly talented, she's also funny, beautiful and VERY nice. We are majorly girl crushin'! Not to mention we couldn't agree more with #5 on her list below...

Her latest book: The Song Remains The Same (Out April 12th!)

The scoop on it: One of only two survivors of a plane crash, Nell Slattery wakes in the hospital with no memory of the horrific experience-or who she is, or was. Now she must piece together both body and mind, with the help of family and friends, who have their own agendas. She filters through photos, art, music, and stories, hoping something will jog her memory, and soon, in tiny bits and pieces, Nell starts remembering. . . .

It isn't long before she learns to question the stories presented by her mother, her sister and business partner, and her husband. In the end, she will discover that forgiving betrayals small and large will be the only true path to healing herself-and to finding happiness.

Our thoughts: We LOVED it-our fave book that she's written thus far.  It was thought provoking and had us guessing until the end-we highly recommend you grab a copy asap so you can see why The Song Remains The Same is getting some of the best reviews of Allison's career!

Fun Fact: Allison often profiles celebrities and has interviewed some of our fave celebrity crushes like Scott Speedman and Michael Vartan! 

Giveaway: FIVE copies!  Just leave a comment and you'll be entered to win.  We'll choose the winners on Sunday April 8th after 6pm PST.

CHICK LIT IS NOT DEAD PRESENTS...ALLISON WINN SCOTCH'S 5 THINGS I'D TELL THE TEEN ME

1. You're On The Right Track: Keep being independent, keep sticking to your guns. Sure, this means that sometimes you have crazy arguments with your father over the state of the world and political affairs, but it also means that you'll know when to stand up for yourself a decade later, when it comes to work, to love, to friendship. You're growing more comfortable with personal responsibility, with emotional responsibility, and both of these will serve you well.

2. Say Thank You to Your Boyfriend: You guys won't last. You probably already know that. That by the second day of college, you'll have outgrown each other. But for now, he is wonderful – a loving, kind relationship that will lay the foundation for what you should expect from future relationships. You won't, always. To be sure, you will date some really lousy guys who will ruin you for a few months every now and then when you break up. But your boyfriend…he's a good guy, and he'll teach you what you have a right to expect from a relationship. This will be your Point North as you navigate the sticky dating scene of your 20s.

3. Love Your Body! (And Enjoy Your Boobs!) You have been blessed with good genes, so why do you always think that you're fat? You're not. You're beautiful. Your body will go on to do amazing things: birth two fantastic babies, take you to all different points on the globe, dance until 3AM, run a 10k, and have enough energy to keep up with your growing kids. All of that energy you spend worrying about your body shape can be used for so many better things…writing, happiness, music, love. And enjoy your boobs while you have them – because they are wonderful, and you really won't appreciate them until those two little babies suck the life out of them while nursing, and then you'll look back at your teenage self and be like, "Hot damn, I had great boobs."

4. Sometimes Your Parents Are Right. You'll find this hard to believe, but it turns out, they did a pretty good job. You're fighting with them now but you'll appreciate what they did for you – taught you about the value of hard work, taught you how to raise your kids with a good sense of humor. They've given you a lot of confidence and independence, and maybe it's biting them in the ass right now, but eventually it won't. And right around that time, you'll look at them and think, "Wow. It turns out that they may have known what they were doing after all." I know. Miracles do happen

5. Tweeze Your Eyebrows. Like, seriously, girl. Come on now! That look worked for Brooke Shields and Brooke Shields alone.

Thanks Allison! xoxo, L&L

To read more about Allison, head on over to her website or find her on Facebook and Twitter.

Lit IT Girl: Debut Author Heather Poole

Our Latest Lit IT Girl: Heather Poole Why she’s fit to wear the Lit IT Girl crown: She is funny and we LOVE her insider gossip on the airline industry.  And her not--so-overnight success story (It took years to get her book deal- but her debut memoir hit the NYT bestseller list!) should be an inspiration to us all.

Her debut novel: Cruising Attitude:Tales of Crashpads, Crew Drama and Crazy Passengers at 35,000 feet

The dealio on it: In her more than fifteen years as an airline flight attendant, Heather Poole has seen it all. She's witnessed all manner of bad behavior at 35,000 feet and knows what it takes for a traveler to become the most hated passenger onboard. She's slept in flight attendant crashpads in "Crew Gardens," Queens—sharing small bedrooms crammed with bunk beds with a parade of attractive women who come and go at all hours, prompting suspicious neighbors to jump to the very worst conclusions. She's watched passengers and coworkers alike escorted off the planes by police. She can tell you why it's a bad idea to fall for a pilot but can be a very good one (in her case) to date a business-class passenger. Heather knows everything about flying in a post-9/11 world—and she knows what goes on behind the scenes, things the passengers would never dream.

Our thoughts: It's fun and we loved all the inside scoop on what it's really like to be a flight attendant! Perfect Spring Break reading!

Fun Fact: Heather's mom became a flight attendant for the same airline after being inspired by her daughter!

Giveaway: FIVE copies!  Leave a comment and you'll be entered to win.  We'll choose the winners on Sunday April 8th after 3pm PST.

CHICK LIT IS NOT DEAD PRESENTS...LIT IT GIRL:DEBUT AUTHOR HEATHER POOLE

1. How many agents did you query before you found "the one"?  I never found “the one.”  (Is there even such a thing as “the one?”) No joke, I sent queries to what seemed like HUNDREDS of agents AND publishing houses -- multiple times! -over many years.  HarperCollins, my publisher today, rejected one of my manuscripts not once, but twice!  I have a photo album filled with all the rejection letters I’ve received.  What's interesting is how those letters changed over time.  Quick generic responses printed on plain white postcards eventually turned into one page letters with my name and the title of my book inserted into what I’m sure was a standard form letter and those turned into the same letters with a personal note from the agent scribbled at the bottom of the page.  Eventually I scored an “agent.”  I use that term loosely, because a year later I had to hire a lawyer to get me out of the contract.  My second agent ended up passing away before she was able to sell my book.  In the end I got a book deal without an agent after an editor at a publishing house stumbled upon my blog.

2. What's a line from your "favorite" rejection letter?  An agent who’s famous for being snarky once scribbled a personal note at the bottom of one of those generic rejection form letters that after reading my book about flight attendants she hoped to never have me on one of her flights.  HA!  I should mention the book was about a serial killing flight attendant.  I called it Stewardeath.  Almost every agent who read the manuscript said they liked the voice, but wished I could make it more “fun.”  I stuck to my guns and....well...you guessed it.  I never sold it. That’s when I started blogging.  The book business is a business after all, so I figured if I could get a following and be able to show just how many people come to my blog, maybe, just maybe, I could sell a book.  10 years and 7 million hits later an editor from HarperCollins read my blog and asked if I'd be willing to write a book for them about flight attendants. 

3. What was the hardest part about writing your debut novel? Finding the time.  I'm a flight attendant.  I'm also a wife and mother to a five year old.  There were times I thought I might have a nervous breakdown because I wasn't going to make my deadline.  When I was writing I'd feel guilty about not spending time with my family.  When I was spending time with my family I'd feel guilty about not writing.  I think the hardest thing for most writers is not giving up.  Being patient but also persistent.  Recently someone asked me for writing advice.  I told him to just sit down and start writing.  It can’t be that easy, he wrote back.  Certainly there’s more to it, he added.  That’s when I informed him that it took me 10 years of writing every single day to get where I am now.  He was shocked.  Another writer came up to me at a conference to let me know she’d been querying agents for six months.   She couldn’t believe she didn’t have a book deal yet.  I tried not to laugh.  Most people get discouraged if they don’t sell their book within a year - one year! It took me ten.

4. What is the best/worst advice you received while you were trying to break into the book biz?  A passenger who turned out to be a television show writer once told me there's no such thing as writers block, that writing is work and some days are just harder than others.  If writing were easy all those people who say they’re going to write a book someday would have already written it.  You have to put in the time.  Every.  Single.  Day.  Doesn’t matter if all you have is an hour each day and it takes 10 years to get to those oh-so-precious two little words, The End.  That time is going to go by anyway, so why not have a finished book to show in the end?

5. How did you celebrate your book deal? I didn't. In the beginning of my writing career I dreamed about  launch parties and celebrating at a special restaurant in Beverly Hills. I read about in People Magazine, which turned out to be right next door to my second agent’s office.  But when my book finally published, just spending time with my family without feeling guilty about not writing was celebration enough.   To be honest, writing a book is so much more than the final product.  People have no idea what it truly takes to not only write a book, but then also sell the book, and then market the book to readers I never dreamed my book would make the New York Times bestseller list, but it did, and I still didn’t celebrate.  I did, however, stare at the newspaper for a few hours in an effort to let it sink in.  It still doesn’t feel real.

6. Who is your writer crush?  Walter Kirn, the author of Up in the Air.  But we have very little in common.  I’d be afraid to actually meet him in real life.  Recently I’ve become fascinated with Marguerite Duras, author of The Lover.  If she were still alive today I’d reach out and try to contact her.  Her life story is so interesting.  Someone should make a movie about it.  The writer I’d most like to have lunch with is Helen Fielding, author of Bridget Jones’ Diary, which is the best chick lit book ever written!  I’d love nothing more than to channel some of her creative energy.

7. If you were stranded on a desert island and could have only one book, what would it be?  One of those worst case scenario books.  The one that focuses on deserted islands.  I’m practical like that.  If I could have two books, I’d add Madame Bovary to the list.  I love that book.

8. What's on your iPod right now?   I'd rather tune in to Pandora.  My favorite "writing" station is Everything But the Girl.

9. What's your #1 stress reliever?  Running or walking on the beach.  Just getting outside and breathing fresh air.  Listening to moody girly music also helps.  I like songs that feel raw, songs that are more about the lyrics than the music.

10. Who/what would you place in the center of the Entertainment Weekly bullseye?  What’s that? I’m Googling "Entertainment Weekly bullseye" now.

Thanks Heather!  xoxo, L&L

To read more about Heather, find her at her website or on Facebook and Twitter.

Traveling with a toddler: 5 things I'd change next time (if there is one!)

So we just returned from our family Spring Break vacay. And it was fun. Lots of fun. But me? I'm not sure I was so much fun. (And it actually has nothing to do with the fact that I am now one year closer to becoming actual Cougar-aged.) Let's just say I learned that Travel Me, (yeah, that's what we'll call her- even though I'm sure my husband has about fifty other terms he'd choose) she's no fun at all. Looking back, I'd do some--okay, probably fifty, but for the sake of this post and your attention span- at least five--things differently to make the trip more enjoyable for, ahem, everyone else. Airline personnel included. Sorry again to everyone at Southwest Airlines!

1. Trust that I've brought enough milk. Seriously, if I'd packed an actual cow it would have provided less. I have this disorder "issue" where I feel like we're never going to have enough milk on the flight. What if we get stuck on the tarmac for hours on end? (I've read about those people- getting stuck for five, six, ten hours and then nearly each other over the last half a bag of peanuts!). So, even though we didn't have a lot of time, we stopped at the grocery store- Whole Foods- to grab some more milk. While my husband searched for her lactose free organic whole milk (not easy to find!),  I let my baby walk around. I was right behind her, but she still walked into a crate and went sailing to the floor. Save a small cut on her forehead which looked huge to me, my baby was fine. Me, not so much! And if I hadn't been so obsessed with the amount of milk we had, of course it wouldn't have happened...Cue beat myself up moment #1 of a billion.

2. Bring my baby's photo ID. Okay, so maybe not her photo ID because, well, she doesn't effing have one, but her birth certificate.  Because apparently there is no way she could "ever be under two." Let me back up for a moment. We never fly Southwest Airlines (and maybe there's a reason for that?). On the airline we usually travel, I've never been questioned about my daughter's age. Looking back, I think I might have had an easier time convincing the women at Southwest I was only 21! (For the record, my daughter is fourteen months. And does look about two.) We (meaning me- the rest of the broad was fine) arrived at the gate a little frazzled because of the whole baby slamming her head into the side of a crate incident. As we were getting our boarding passes, the agent looked over at the stroller and gave her colleague a look that I took to mean: There's no way in hell that baby is under two. Look at her mom. All frazzled. Look at that cut on her baby's head- bet it was the mom's fault. That mom is a liar! Let's just say I'm not proud of everything that came out of my mouth next. But we did get on-despite my bad attitude and with the help of my pediatrican's office faxing over proof of my daughter's age.

3. Don't pack the kitchen sink. I have told myself this every single time I've traveled. And every single time, I still have too much sh*t. If someone can please give me some tips on how to pack lighter, I'll happily accept them! Because I clearly have a problem (you should have seen the cooler alone I brought with seven sippy cups full of milk). So let's just say my carry-on bag was just a wee bit hard to stuff under the seat and was sticking out slightly. Which of course did not get by the Southwest Airlines flight attendant who told me my big, fat bag was too big and fat to fit under the seat and she'd need to haul it into the overhead bin if she could even lift it. Okay, so maybe that's not what she said, but that's what I heard. But it's my own fault, I can't pack for sh*t.

4. Don't try to have a cocktail. Toward the end of a long day of traveling when the flight attendant takes your drink order, don't order a glass of red wine. I repeat, don't order a glass of red wine- or any wine for that matter- or any cocktail for that matter. Not even if your baby has cut her head, you got in trouble for not having her ID and your big fat bag was in people's way. Not even if your attitude is really bad. Not even if you know it will take the edge off. Because: It. will. spill.

5. Leave my bad attitude at home. It takes up a lot of room and would leave me more space to bring more sh*t. :)

xoxo,

Lisa