Jyotsna Sreenivasan's 5 Things I'd Tell the Teen Me

Today's guest: Jyotsna Sreenivasan Her latest: And Laughter Fell From the Sky (out today!) 

Why we love her: She writes a powerful novel about the power of love.

The scoop: Still living at home despite a good career and financial independence, beautiful and sophisticated Rasika has always been the dutiful daughter. With her twenty-sixth birthday fast approaching, she agrees to an arranged marriage, all while trying to hide from her family her occasional dalliances with other men.

Abhay is everything an Indian-American son shouldn't be. Having spent his postcollege years living in a commune, he now hops from one dead-end job to another, brooding over what he really wants to do with his life.

Old family friends, Rasika and Abhay seem to have nothing in common, yet when the two reconnect by chance, sparks immediately fly. Abhay loves Rasika, but he knows her family would never approve. Rasika reluctantly accepts she has feelings for Abhay, but can she turn her back on the family rules she has always tried so hard to live by? The search to find answers takes Abhay and Rasika out of their native Ohio to Oregon and India, where they find that what they have together might just be something worth fighting for.

Our thoughts: A charming debut that we couldn't put down. One of the best books we've read in a long time. 

Fun fact: We read the book because Laura Dave blurbed it. Love her taste in authors. She also turned us on to the fabulous Isabel Gillies.

Giveaway: 5 copies! Just leave a comment and we'll randomly select the winners after 6pm PST on Sunday, June 24.

Where you can read more about Jyotsna: Facebook , Twitter and her website.

CHICK LIT IS NOT DEAD PRESENTS...JYOTSNA SREENIVASAN'S 5 THINGS I'D TELL THE TEEN ME

1. Mom and Dad worked a lot harder to raise you than you’ll ever realize. Maybe it’s a good thing I didn’t realize how hard it is to be a parent, or I’d never have become one! My mom and dad were always there for me, maintaining a stable house and life. It looks easy when someone else is doing it for you!

2. You don’t have to pretend that you have it all together. It’s OK to ask for help. When I was a teen and young adult, I somehow had the idea that seeing a counselor or asking for help was only for people who were really messed up—and I didn’t want to be in that category! So I just muddled through my life, making some good decisions and some bad decisions. I wish I had realized that being human means that none of us has it all together, and that all of us need help at times.

3. Boys are a lot less mature and responsible, and probably a lot less clean, than you think they are. Now that I have a teenaged son, this has become immensely clear to me. . . .

4. Sometimes it’s OK to be angry, to show your anger, and to make sure you get your way. I was a “nice girl” and it was only years later that I realized that my anger came out in passive-aggressive ways. For example, some of those bad decisions I mentioned above were made, I think, mainly to annoy my parents. Instead of just getting angry and getting over it, I made decisions that ended up affecting me for years.

5. God is there for you even though you’re going through your agnostic phase. My parents believe in God, and I was taught to say prayers and to believe in God. I thought this was what everyone did. Then I got to high school and encountered teachers who did not necessarily believe in the existence of God. At that time, this seemed very sophisticated to me. I’m glad now that God was looking out for me even when I didn’t realize it.

Thanks, Jyotsna!

xoxo,

Liz & Lisa

Bianca Zander's 5 Things I'd Tell the Teen Me

Our guest today: Bianca Zander Why we love her: Not only does her debut novel rock, but the 5 things she'd tell her teen self are spot on!

Her latest: The Girl Below

The scoop on it: After ten years in New Zealand, Suki returns to London, to a city that won't let her in. However, a chance visit with Peggy—an old family friend who still lives in the building where she grew up—convinces Suki that there is a way to reconnect with the life she left behind a decade earlier. But the more involved she becomes with Peggy's dysfunctional family, including Peggy's wayward sixteen-year-old grandson, the more Suki finds herself mysteriously slipping back in time—to the night of a party her parents threw in their garden more than twenty years ago, when something happened in an old, long-unused air-raid shelter. . . .

Our thoughts: Want to dive into something a bit deeper at the pool this summer?  Then pick up Bianca's engrossing novel.

Giveaway: FIVE copies!  Leave a comment and we'll choose a winner on Sunday June 24th after 6pm PST.

Fun Fact: Bianca is a Brit but has spent the last two decades in New Zealand!

CHICK LIT IS NOT DEAD PRESENTS...BIANCA ZANDER'S 5 THINGS I'D TELL THE TEEN ME

1. Go easy on the war paint, especially foundation. Later on in life, you will spend a small fortune trying to get your skin to look half as good as it does now, and you will look at photos of yourself in badly applied orange gunk and wince. Instead wear sunscreen, drink water and don’t smoke. Sticking to this theme: the single most beautiful thing in the world is youth. At this point, it’s impossible to comprehend just how beautiful you are simply by virtue of being young, but one day you’ll wish that for even one second you had appreciated what you had, while you still had it.

2. In social situations, don’t waste time feeling embarrassed or self-conscious. Ninety nine percent of the time, people are too absorbed in their own dramas to pay even the slightest bit of attention to yours. Even if your dress is falling off, chances are no one has noticed, and if they have noticed, within seconds their attention will have switched back to its default focus: their own dress.

3. Don’t bother crushing on guys who aren’t interested in you. They will never be interested in you—and no amount of witty puns, sidelong glances or white-girl dance moves will change their minds. The same applies in reverse: if a guy IS interested in you, don’t dismiss him as a psycho until you know that he really is one.

4. What your mother says about guys being only interested in one thing is truer than you can imagine. This is confusing in relation to the last point because occasionally a guy who isn’t interested in you will go to great lengths to have sex with you, and if he does: run a mile. You won’t run a mile, you’ll be pathetically, cringingly grateful but after you have slept with him, he will get dressed in the blink of an eye and the fact that he’s not that into you will hit you like a freight train. Which brings me to point 4b: always use a condom.

5. Despite falling into all the above pitfalls, you will also eventually fall in love, and even though it seems utterly inconceivable, your first love will not be your last. Try to remember this when your first love cheats on you and then dumps you for a trashy-looking slut.

Thanks Bianca!  xoxo, L&L

To read more about Bianca, head on over to Facebook and Twitter!

Claire Cook's 5 Things I'd Tell the Teen Me

Today's guest: Claire Cook Her latest: Wallflower in Bloom

Why we love her: What's not to love? She's a bestselling author of 9 fabulous books (always the perfect summer reads). Not to mention she's super supportive of lil ol' authors trying to make it in the big ol' publishing world. Ahem, like two gals you might know.

The scoop: Deirdre Griffin has a great life; it’s just not her own. She’s the around-the-clock personal assistant to her charismatic, high-maintenance, New Age guru brother, Tag. As the family wallflower, her only worth seems to be as gatekeeper to Tag at his New England seaside compound.

Then Deirdre’s sometime boyfriend informs her that he is marrying another woman, who just happens to be having the baby he told Deirdre he never wanted. While drowning her sorrows in Tag’s expensive vodka, Deirdre decides to use his massive online following to get herself voted on as a last-minute Dancing with the Stars replacement. It’ll get her back in shape, mentally and physically. It might even get her a life of her own. Deirdre’s fifteen minutes of fame have begun.

Our thoughts: As reality TV junkies, we love the idea of a regular gal making it on a show like Dancing with the Stars. C'mon, how great is that?

Giveaway: 5 copies of Wallflower in Bloom (one of them is signed by Claire!). Leave a comment and be entered to win. We'll randomly select the winners on Monday, June 18 after 6PM PST.

Fun fact: Lisa recently got to meet Claire. She's hilarious. And she has great stories about a lot of things-- including John Cusack.

Where you can read more about Claire: Facebook, Twitter and her website.

CHICK LIT IS NOT DEAD PRESENTS...CLAIRE COOK'S 5 THINGS I'D TELL THE TEEN ME

Thank you so much for inviting me to do this, Liz and Lisa! And can I say how excited I was to finally meet Lisa in person on book tour – so much fun hanging out with you, Lisa! xxxxx

1. When people show you their true colors, color yourself convinced the first time. Do not give them three or four or twelve chances to redeem themselves. Do not think that if you were a better friend, you would inspire them to be, too. Skip all the drama that’s sure to follow, and get out now.

2. Always do more than the situation requires. When you do just the bare minimum, that’s what comes back to you. And because so few people do more than they have to do in any given situation, it’s a great way to stand out.

3. Karma is a boomerang. Do nice things for people. Lots of people. One day you will find that the goodwill this has generated over the years is the thing that propels you to where you want to go.

4. Hang around with the quirky people. They’re so much more interesting than the cool people.

5. Life is long. If you don’t write a book by the time you’re twenty, you’re not a failure. You simply need to live your life to find your stories. There’s no rush, and you will have soooo much fun and appreciate it more when it finally happens to you at forty-five. Yeah, I know that sounds ridiculously old, but trust me, it feels different when you get there.

Thanks, Claire!

xoxo,

L&L

7 Seconds in Heaven with...David Klein

Today's guest: David Klein His latest: Clean Break

The scoop: Can you make a clean break from a troubled past 
and start a new life? Four lives intersect when Celeste Vanek leaves her husband, Adam. His compulsive gambling and physical threats have poisoned their marriage and emotionally damaged their young son. Celeste moves to a small rental across town, works to gain financial security, and helps her son navigate his fantasy life. But she quickly finds that starting over is not easy. Adam demands his family back, and things get out of control. Jake, who witnesses a violent struggle between Celeste and her husband, becomes Celeste’s ally and friend, while struggling with his own emotional and ethical issues. Jake carries a history of failed relationships—one of them with Sara, a married and childless police detective who has a private agenda to pursue when a crime is committed that links these four characters together and changes their lives forever.

Our take: You'll love getting lost in this fast-paced, satisfying read.

Giveaway: 5 copies of Clean Break. Leave a comment and be entered to win. We'll randomly select the winners after 6pm PST on Monday, June 18th.

Read more about David Klein: Twitter, Facebook & his website

CHICK LIT IS NOT DEAD PRESENTS...7 SECONDS IN HEAVEN WITH...DAVID KLEIN

1.    In 6th grade I wrote a play that my class performed. It was about a group of wild boys who wanted to kidnap Santa and keep all the presents for themselves. At the end, the boys get caught and are apologetic. But that wasn’t enough. My teacher (nun, Catholic school, so it’s no surprise) changed the ending so that Santa is putting the ringleader over his knee for a good spanking. This was also my first introduction to the editing process.

2.    I’m obsessed with titles and place a lot of importance in them. While writing Clean Break, I floundered through half a dozen drafts and many, many working titles. It wasn’t until I came up with what I felt was the perfect title that the entire novel started to gel. All of the key characters are trying to escape their pasts and get a fresh start on life. Easier said than done. With my first novel, Stash, the opposite occurred. Stash was the first working title I had and it never went away.

3.    I’d love to write for a television series someday. I mean a really compelling drama, like Breaking Bad, The Sopranos, or Mad Men. I like the serial structure of the storytelling, where the characters have broad story arcs over the course of a season or more, yet in any given episode can experience a complete mini-story (storylette?) and transformation.

4.    I got heckled recently at a book group event. This was an event that brought a number of book groups together along with a moderator to discuss my first novel, Stash. A “rogue reader” showed up and blasted me over the content and characters of the novel. Her insults went beyond the book itself and questioned my moral character. The moderator let her run on. I sat there and took it until she wore herself out. 5.    I wonder if I could start a business writing love letters. Long ago, in a far away place, I won over a woman I had a terrible crush on by writing her letters. The real kind, with ink on paper. It took a while, but she finally fell for me. She said I was such a beautiful writer. So I started writing short stories, poems, then novels. The relationship didn’t work out, but she might be the person that made me ambitious about writing.

6.    Mountain bikes are my thing. I’m an avid off-road mountain bike rider. Deep woods. Narrow trails. The more rocks and roots and scary downhills the better. It’s physically demanding and mentally thrilling and a huge stress reliever. It took me several seasons of contusions and bruises before I smartened up and started wearing protective pads on my arms and legs.

7.    My daughter and I are both born on Christmas Day. Thirteen years ago, my daughter gave me the best combined birthday/Christmas present I could ever have. Of course, now she’s learned from some other relatives about the combined birthday/Christmas present swindle. She says it’s worth the shortage to share a birthday with me. Bonus item: my brother, three years older, was also born on Christmas.

Thanks, David!

xoxo,

Liz & Lisa

Jacqueline Sheehan's 5 Things I'd Tell The Teen Me

Our guest today: Jacqueline Sheehan Why we love her: Her writing is poignant and heartfelt!

Her latest: Picture This

The scoop on it: The poignant and unforgettable sequel to the beloved bestseller Lost & Found; a marvelous tale of life-altering surprises and unanticipated guests

Peaks Island, Maine, vibrates with its own special magic, a unique flow to life that knits together the small community that calls it home. The people, the animals, and even the houses have a charm and personality all their own. Just ask Rocky Pelligrino. Devastated by her husband Bob's sudden death, she found hope thanks to a relentlessly loyal black Lab named Cooper. Warm friends and a new job—as the island's animal control warden—have helped Rocky chart a course toward a promising future. She's even ready to try love again with Hill, the gentle and patient archery instructor. And there is an old house haunted by lost love and forgotten secrets that speaks to her soul.

But a phone call from a troubled young woman looking for her biological father shakes Rocky's newfound joy. Could this young girl hold a tendril of the man who was the love of her life? Or could the girl's appearance throw Rocky's world into chaos . . . and shatter her heart again?

Our thoughts: We can't resist the adorable cover and the way Jacqueline builds great characters-pick up a copy!

Giveaway: FIVE copies! Leave a comment and we'll choose a winner on Sunday, June 17th after 6pm PST.

Fun fact: Picture This is a sequel to Jacqueline's bestselling novel, Lost & Found.

CHICK LIT IS NOT DEAD PRESENTS...JACQUELINE SHEEHAN'S 5 THINGS I'D TELL THE TEEN ME

1. You are going to spend a year living in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida and you’ll think it’s the worst year of your life because you’re homesick for New England and your old high school. The new school has sororities and no one asks you to join. The English teacher pulls you out of a deadly boring class after he reads one of your short stories and puts you into an advanced English class. He will tell you to join the newspaper. Listen to him. But you will be so sad that your first essay for the newspaper is called, Santa Claus is Dead. You are going to get better.

2. When the senior boy at the newspaper asks you to the prom, don’t let the lady at the hair salon tease your hair. It will look like a football helmet. You’re going to go swimming in the ocean afterwards anyhow. Skip the hair salon. You have terrific hair.

3. When you get your driver’s license, your mother will let you drive the family VW. Don’t return the car with the gas gauge on empty. This will make your mother awfully ticked off and she is working two jobs to keep the family afloat. Remember that you are all in this together. Thank her for taking such good care of all of you.

4. All those boys leaning against the lockers and staring at the girls in between classes are idiots. One of them will find you on Face Book decades later and confess that they were rating girls on a scale of 1-10. See what I mean about them being idiots?

5. Save your allowance and all your summer job money. When a little company called Apple goes public buy their stock. Buy as much as you can. Better yet, work for them for a few years and say that you’ll take your salary in stock. Trust me on this one.

Thanks Jacqueline! xoxo, L&L

To read more about Jacqueline, head on over to her website or find her on Facebook and Twitter.

Shelley Noble's 5 Things I'd Tell The Teen Me

Our guest today: Shelley Noble Why we love her: Her writing is rich and satisfying!

Her latest: Beach Colors

The scoop: While renowned designer Margaux Sullivan was presenting her highly praised collection during New York City's Fashion Week, her husband was cleaning out their bank account. A week after he disappeared, the bank foreclosed on Margaux's apartment and business.

Suddenly broke, betrayed, and humiliated, Margaux has nowhere else to turn to but home: the small coastal town of Crescent Cove, Connecticut, where she once knew love, joy, and family before she put them behind her on the climb to fame. When she's stopped for speeding by local interim police chief Nick Prescott, Margaux barely remembers the "townie" boy who worshipped her from afar every summer. But Nick is all grown up now, a college professor who gave up his career to care for his orphaned nephew, Connor. Though still vulnerable, Margaux is soon rediscovering the beauty of the shore through young Connor's eyes . . . and, thanks to Nick, finding a forgotten place in her heart that wants to love again.

But as she continues to work on a bold new line that will get her back into the game, Margaux realizes that soon she will have to make the most important, most difficult decision of her life. . . .

Our thoughts: Another great beach read to throw in your bag this summer!

Giveaway: FIVE copies!  Leave a comment and we'll choose a winner on Sunday, June 17th after 6pm PST.

Fun fact: Shelley also writes under the name Shelley Freydont.

CHICK LIT IS NOT DEAD PRESENTS...SHELLY NOBLE'S 5 THINGS I'D TELL THE TEEN ME

1. Your mother is right: pretty is as pretty does.  Those girls who are wearing the latest fad, the ones the boys like, the popular ones? Yeah the ones who are always mean to Tony the nerd? That’s not pretty.  You can wear the designer stuff, but don’t let being popular define you, and don’t let it keep you from being nice to Tony and other nerds . . . like you. And those girls and their boyfriends?  In a few years you won’t remember their names.  (But you might remember Tony.  I just Googled him and he’s turned out pretty darn good.)

2. Your mother is right—and wrong.  Life will probably be more secure if you go to work for the telephone or power company instead of following those iffy dreams. You’ll retire with a pension, but you’ll miss a lot of wonderful things, amazing people from different walks of life, and incredible places throughout the world.  Go for it, security will be waiting if you chose to come back. That’s why they call it security.

3. When things don’t go your way, when someone disappoints you, as they invariably will, when things look bleak, take a step forward, there is good stuff going on out in the world.  And you’ll be one step closer to finding it.

4. Don’t make gagging noises and roll your eyes when someone tells you to follow your dream. They might sound corny, or embarrass you, but listen and remember this. It’s your dream, it deserves to be followed.

5. Do nothing that when you think about it later, makes you writhe with shame.

Miscellany-Okay once I got started I couldn’t stop.  A few more short ones.

• One day there will be easier ways to straighten your hair than coke cans.

• Don’t worry, there really are people besides teachers who like Shakespeare.

• Even people who went to their senior prom don’t remember much about it now.

• When someone tells you you don’t have the talent or the brains or the personality to do something.  Prove them wrong.

Thanks Shelley! xoxo, L&L

To read more about Shelley, head on over to her website or find her on Facebook!

Emma and Nicola's 5 Things I'd Tell The Teen Me

Our guests today: Emma McLaughlin and Nicola Kraus

Why we love them:  Um , maybe because they are our co-authoring IDOLS!  That's all.

Their latest: Between You and Me

The scoop: What happens when you are followed by millions . . . and loved by none?

Twenty-seven-year-old Logan Wade is trying to build a life for herself far from her unhappy childhood in Oklahoma. Until she gets the call that her famous cousin needs a new assistant— an offer she can’t refuse.

Logan hasn’t seen Kelsey in person since their parents separated them as kids; in the meantime, Kelsey Wade has grown into Fortune Magazine’s most powerful celebrity. But their reunion is quickly overshadowed by the toxic dynamic between Kelsey and her parents as Logan discovers that, beneath the glossy façade, the wounds that caused them to be wrenched apart so many years ago have insidiously warped into a show-stopping family business.

As Kelsey tries desperately to break away and grasp at a “real” life, beyond the influence of her parents and managers, she makes one catastrophic misstep after another, and Logan must question if their childhood has left them both too broken to succeed. Logan risks everything to hold on, but when Kelsey unravels in the most horribly public way, Logan finds that she will ultimately have to choose between rescuing the girl she has always protected . . . and saving herself.

Our thoughts: LOVED it with a capital L! Totally delightful. Seriously, grab it for your beach bag RIGHT NOW.

Giveaway: FIVE copies, yo!!!  Leave a comment and we'll choose the winners on Sunday June 17th after 6pm PST.

Fun Fact: Emma and Nicola have a YA novel coming out this summer too (Liz is drooling, she loves her some YA!).   Over You comes out on August 21st, 2012!

CHICK LIT IS NOT DEAD PRESENTS..EMMA AND NICOLA'S 5 THINGS I'D TELL THE TEEN ME

First and foremost, thank you so much to Liz and Lisa for having us back.  We’re so excited to be asked this question! 

The idea of giving our teen selves retroactive support is particularly poignant right now because we’ve spent the last year writing two books exploring the light and dark side of getting advice in those critical formative years.  In our novel, Between You & Me, out June 12^th, we look at two 20-something cousins, Logan and Kelsey Wade, whose parents were always more focused on making one of the girls famous than guiding them into adulthood—with dire and very public consequences. 

Our second book out August 21st, Over You, is about Max Scott, a seventeen year-old break-up coach, who can get anyone over anyone in four weeks—or less.  She is full of spectacular advice (but can’t seem to take her own.)

So, for what it’s worth, here’s what we’d tell our teen selves:

1. Don’t sweat the sex.  Hard to believe but someday but you’ll be married to the same person for years and years and years and it will be impossible to remember when you once had more hormones than a dairy farm.  Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about yourself.   Remember that birthday party Alex Cobb pressed you up against the fish tank and unbuttoned your Betsey Johnson dress all the way down to your waist?  You’re creating memories that will make long afternoons singing Itsy Bitsy Spider to a toddler go faster.

2. The cliché is true.   The hot guys go bald.  They get paunchy.  And the mean girls are sad.  The sad girls get happy.  Because it never came easy so they had to work at it, work on themselves.  Willy Wonka could not right the balance better himself.

3. File these away.  Wear your retainer.  Your credit score is real.  Start a bridesmaid fund NOW—that shit will bankrupt you.  Never sign anything without a lawyer.  When a guy says he isn’t looking for a commitment, that’s what that means.

4. Be kind to yourself.  No one is ever going to be as hard on you as you are.  You can accomplish just as much without a running inner monologue saying, you suck.  You are not too fat.  Your butt is perfect.  You will actually marry a man who wishes it was larger.  You know how much you love the kids you nanny for?  Treat yourself with the same compassion and patience and you’ll be much, much happier.

5. Thank you.  You are doing everything right.  You are transitioning from babysitting into full-time nannying, much to your family’s horror.  You have applied to a horrible college you will hate.  Leading you to transfer to NYU, where you will meet the creative love of your life.  You are embarking on a miserable career path that will suck your will to live until the best idea seems like writing a book with your old friend from college.  Keep it up, girl.  Have faith.  You are failing upwards.

Thanks Girls! xoxo, L&L

To read more about Emma and Nicola, head on over to their website or find them on Facebook and Twitter.

Kate Klise's 5 Things I'd Tell The Teen Me

Our guest today: Kate Klise

Why we love her: Her first book for adults was FUN to read.  TOTAL brain candy, people!

Her latest: In The Bag

The scoop on it: A European vacation. A luggage mix-up. A note from a secret admirer.

Meet two single parents who think they're too busy to date.
And two teenagers who can't stop writing flirty emails.
This is a tale of connections—missed and made—in a universe that seems to have its heart set on reuniting Ms. 6B and Mr. 13C.

In the Bag is a smart and stylish story that explores the old-fashioned art of romance in a modern world, where falling in love can be as risky as checking a bag on an international flight. Buckle your seat belt—it's going to be a bumpy vacation!

Our thoughts: Liz read it in one afternoon-fun and light and a perfect antidote to a hard day!  And the cover is TO DIE FOR.

Giveaway: FIVE copies! Leave a comment and you'll be entered to win-we'll choose the winners Sunday June 10th after 3pm PST.  Good luck!

Fun Fact: Kate lives on a 40 acre farm in the Missouri Ozarks-so cool!

CHICK LIT IS NOT PRESENTS...KATE KLISE'S 5 THINGS I'D TELL THE TEEN ME

1. That D you got in trig? Forget about it. I’ve never needed trigonometry. I’m not even sure what it is. I just know that I felt like a complete failure when I was sixteen and got a D from a math teacher (he was also the baseball coach) who couldn’t be bothered to teach the girls in class. I wish I could tell my sixteen-year-old self that we are not our worst subjects or our biggest mistakes. I also wish I had known back then that this teacher/coach would eventually be fired for watching porn on a school computer. (But hey, he’s not his mistakes either, right?)

2. There are really only three things you need to know in life:reading, basic math skills, and manners. Of the three, good manners probably matter the most. Of course it’s also important to learn how to be alone and happy, how to make and manage your own money, and how to buy a new car without paying more than the sticker price. (Let’s hope I make that mistake only once in life). But if you spend your time learning the big three—reading, basic math skills, and manners—you’ll be able to get yourself out of most pickles.

3. Quit Taking It Personally. I lead a lot of writing workshops in schools. I saw this sign in a school I visited last year. Quit Taking It Personally. Huh? What? Really? You don’t have to take everything (or anything) personally? I wish someone had told me this as a teenager. It would’ve saved me a lot of time and energy

4. When the boys in school throw your hat in the “spit pit” and all begin spitting on it, that means they like you. I learned this at my 30th high school reunion. Wish I’d known the secret language of boys earlier in my life.    

5. Stop complaining about Mom and those letters she insists you write home from college every week. This was my mom’s rule: She would pay my college tuition if I would write home every week for all four years of college. Of course I complained bitterly about the deal. (Note to my younger self: You ungrateful brat.) The truth was, while I learned plenty as an English major at Marquette University, I learned how to write books by writing letters home to my mother every week for four years. So thanks, Mom. I wish I’d known what a gift those letters were—to me.

Thanks Kate! xoxo, L&L

To learn more about Kate, head on over to her website!

Susan Wigg's 5 Things I'd Tell The Teen Me

Our guest today: Susan Wiggs Why we love her: She's fun and sassy! (if you don't believe us, just read her 5 Things below...)

Her latest: Return to Willow Lake-out on August 28th!

Our thoughts: We think you'll love it-there's a reason Susan is a NYT bestselling author!

Giveaway: FIVE bundles of Susan's Lakeshore Chronicle books!  Leave a comment and we'll choose the winners on Sunday June 3rd after 6pm PST.

Fun fact: Susan recently launched a food for thought Facebook app where she shares her favorite recipes!

CHICK LIT IS NOT DEAD PRESENTS: SUSAN WIGG'S 5 THINGS I'D TELL THE TEEN ME

First off, I actually wouldn't tell the teen me anything because the teen me would not have listened. Because she knew everything already. She didn't start being naive and ignorant and in need of advice until she got much older.

However, for the purposes of this exercise, and on the off chance that this girl might have been listening, I offer the following. 

[A bit of backstory: The Teen Me lived overseas, in Brussels and then in Paris (Versailles, actually). Drinking and smoking were legal for kids back then, though we couldn't drive. We were allowed to operate a mobilette (moped) with an engine up to 50cc, although helmets were optional.]

1. Slow down. You do everything too fast. You ski too fast.* You eat and drink too fast. You drive your moped too fast. You're zooming through school too fast. Do you really have to graduate from college two years ahead of all your peers? Why? What's your hurry? You'll get to adulthood in due time, and you'll have the rest of your life to be there. *In the photo below, it's not visible, but there is a cast on your leg which you broke while skiing too fast. See, I told you so.

2. Pay more attention to your parents. I know this seems incredible to you, but they are actually wise and caring individuals who only want the best for you. When, for example, they tell you it is not a good idea to skip school and take the train to Amsterdam for the weekend, they're not trying to destroy your social life, just preserve your innocence a teensy bit longer.

3. Practice your cello more. You've got a talent for it but if you don't practice, it will get rusty and then you won't feel like playing anymore and one day in the future when you're trying to make it as a writer and you're broke, you're going to hock your cello and it's a Juzak and irreplaceable and in the even further future, you're going to wish you still had it. So there.

4. Don't let negative messages deter you from your dreams. People call you Pollyanna and tease you about being relentlessly optimistic, but it's only because they're envious that you have the attitude of a golden retriever, trying again and again and again until you get it right.

5. Oh, and that guy named Dirk? Don't even bother. You'll thank me for that one day. Same goes for that floor length monstrosity you bought at Kensington Market in London for a Jethro Tull concert. Huge mistake, and I have the photos to prove it.

below: Susan with her big brother in Val d'Isere, France, ca 1974; same two people, decades later:

Thanks Susan! xoxo, L&L

To read more about Susan, head on over to her website or find her on Facebook or Twitter.

The Bachelorette: 5 Reasons Why These Dudes Can't Be Dads

Admittedly, I got up on my soapbox when it was officially announced that single mom Emily Maynard was going to be The Bachelorette. (I was not happy about it- I have issues with single moms and dads allowing their children to be on TV--remember when I called shame on you on Bachelor Jason Mesnick?)

Sure, Emily's cute and sweet and got her heart broken by over-therapized yet completely unchanged commitment phobe and very angry Brad Womack, but does she really think she can find a dad for her daughter, Ricky, in just a few weeks? Or maybe the better question is, does she really think these dudes actually can or want to be dads? (With the exception of the two single dads on the show, I think the answer is no. (Even though a couple of them might actually think they do.)

Last night, Jennifer Weiner tweeted it best, Drink every time a guy says he's "ready to be a father." Drink twice if you think he's lying! #bachelorette. And even Jason Biggs got in on the #Bachelorette Twitter action tweeting: I still don't know who half these guys are. And yet, they are on ‪#TheBachelorette‬ , so I know exactly who they are, really. (Side note: he also tweeted about Dolly Parton's camel toe. Gross but hilarious.)

So here, alas, are the five reasons why I say these dudes CANNOT be dads.

1. They think becoming a father to Emily's daughter is "a compromise."  Oy vey. At least Alessandro got kicked off for this ignorant remark (Oh, and turns out if you watched the credits, he admitted to Emily's BFF's that he cheated on a past girlfriend). I guess there is a reality TV show God afterall.

2. They think an egg and a child are the same thing. Yes, Travis, your ostrich egg that you named "Shelly" is the same thing as having a child! Bringing him (or her?) on The Bachelorette proves you can be a father just about as much as one of those crying dolls dissuades teens from having unprotected sex and getting pregnant! But Poor Shelly didn't get a rose (even though his/her "dad" did)...Emily smashed him into itty bitty pieces Humpty Dumpty style. If you ask me, every Bachelorette episode should have an #eggmurder.

3. Instead of playing with kids, they tell Emily not to get fat. Emily The producers brought a boat load of kids to a park to see how the guys would react. Er, dudes, this is your chance to show you like kids?! But instead of pushing them on the swings or sliding with them on the slides like the guys that are actually trying to play the game, gym owner, Ryan,  (who has really. bad. hair. btw) finds Emily and her BFF's and when the conversation turns to weight gain, says it won't be okay with him if Emily gains weight after marriage and something along the lines of, "she'll be loved, but not loved on." Weirdly, her friends seem to have NO reaction to this? (I think any of mine would've kicked him in his unloved parts!) And even worse? Although Emily admits she didn't like that he said that, she still gives him a rose... *sigh*

4. Kids will interrupt you! Kalon (the tall weirdo dude with the glasses) in the course of telling Emily how he always thought his first child would be HIS OWN, scolds her when she interrupts him. He says,"I love it when you talk, but you need to stop interrupting me." Ouch. So, she slaps him, then kicks him off the show, right? WRONG. Although she acknowledges his remark- to camera- not to him- "I like tall, cute and funny, not tall cute and condescending," he still got a rose...I'd hate to see what happens when Emily's sweet daughter interrupts him. Major red flag, Emily.

5. Private concerts, love songs and Dolly Parton will not be the norm. So far, Emily has made a guy help bake cookies for her daughter's soccer game and play with a group of sugar-infused kids. The dudes even had to pass her "BFF test." But how much "real world" experience are these guys getting? And how is Emily really going to know if these guys can swing this fatherhood thing? It's easy to melt into the moment at a private concert when Dolly Parton (and her camel toe) are singing a love song to you, but let's get real here, dudes. It's going to take a lot more than dancing to Dolly to make you a dad.

xoxo,

Lisa

Meg Mitchell Moore's 5 Things I'd Tell the Teen Me

Today's guest: Meg Mitchell Moore Why we love her: Her debut, The Arrivals, (in paperback now) was one of our favorite books of 2012

Her latest: So Far Away (It's out tomorrow- May 29! Pre-order it here. )

The scoop: The lives of a wayward teenager and a lonely archivist are unexpectedly joined through the discovery of an old diary.

Thirteen-year-old Natalie Gallagher is trying to escape: from her parents’ ugly divorce, and from the vicious cyber-bullying of her former best friend. She discovers a dusty old diary in her family’s basement and is inspired to unlock its secrets.

Kathleen Lynch, an archivist at the Massachusetts State Archives, has her own painful secrets: she’s a widow estranged from her only daughter. Natalie’s research brings her to Kathleen, who in Natalie sees traces of the daughter she has lost.

What could the life of an Irish immigrant domestic servant from the 1920s teach them both? In the pages of the diary, they will learn that their fears and frustrations are timeless.

Our thoughts: Meg delivers yet again with this riveting sophomore novel. Definitely an author to watch!

Giveaway: 5 copies! Just leave a comment and be entered to win. We'll randomly select the winners after 6pm EST on Sunday, June 3rd.

Fun fact: No only is Meg's writer crush Elin Hilderbrand, but Meg was lucky enough to get a blurb from Elin for The Arrivals.

Where to read more about Meg: Her website, Facebook and Twitter.

CHICK LIT IS NOT DEAD PRESENTS...MEG MITCHELL MOORE'S 5 THINGS I'D TELL THE TEEN ME

1. Sunscreen, sunscreen, sunscreen. All those people who tell you not to sit in the sun are right. Pale skin can be beautiful. Baby oil is really only for babies.

2. Drive across the country at least once before you have children. I am about to do for this for the first time as our family takes on a cross-country move. The trip will be rushed, the dog will be cranky and I’ll take the shortest way from point A to point B. Oh, how I had wish I had time to take it slowly and do it right! I want to stop in Midwestern diners and eat pie, drive down little main streets in towns I’ve never heard of, hear ten different accents in a week.

3. Appreciate your parents. I guess this is one of the great paradoxes of the world, but truly you do not understand just how much your parents do for you until you are trying to keep little people happy and fed and turn them into productive members of society. Those things you got in trouble for in high school? You deserved it. At the same time, try hard to remember what all of this feels like so that when your own kids go through it you can empathize.

4. Trust your talent, work your butt off. It took me a long time to trust my abilities to write fiction. Turns out the only thing that separated the people who were doing it from me was that they were willing to work for it and take the necessary risks.

5. Honey, Boy George is gay. Take the pictures down from your locker.

Thanks, Meg!

xoxo,

Liz & Lisa

Kim Izzo's 5 Things I'd Tell the Teen Me

Our guest today: Kim Izzo

Why we love her: Her latest novel is about the original chick lit IT Girl, Jane Austen!

Her latest: The Jane Austen Marriage Manual

The scoop on it: Katherine Shaw—Kate— is happy with her life. She has supportive friends, a glamorous magazine career, and a love of all things Jane Austen. But when she loses her job, her beloved grandmother falls ill and a financial disaster forces a sale on the family home, Kate finds herself facing a crisis that would test even the most stalwart of Austen heroines.

Friends rally round, connecting her to freelance gigs, and presenting her with a birthday gift— title to land in Scotland—that’s about to come in very handy. Turns out that Kate’s first freelance assignment is to test an Austen-inspired theory: in the toughest economic times is a wealthy man the only must-have accessory? What begins as an article turns into an opportunity as Kate—now Lady Kate—jet-sets to Palm Beach, St Moritz and London where, in keeping company with the elite, she meets prospects who make Mr. Darcy look like an amateur. But will rubbing shoulders with men of good fortune ever actually lead her to love? And will Kate be able to choose between Mr. Rich and Mr. Right?

Our thoughts: Whether or not you love Jane Austen, we think you'll dig this book!

Giveaway: FIVE copies! Leave a comment and we'll choose them on Monday May 28th after 6pm PST.

Fun Fact: Kim also co-authored a bestselling etiquette book called The Fabulous Girl's Guide to Decorum.

CHICK LIT IS NOT DEAD PRESENTS...KIM IZZO'S 5 THINGS I'D TELL THE TEEN ME

I loved this idea from the moment it arrived in my inbox. Thank you Lisa and Liz for thinking of me. I really appreciate what you're doing for Chick Lit and women's fiction in general. Read on! 1. Step away from the boy in the rock band! He may be cool, cooler than you (which isn't hard btw), but he's kind of a self-absorbed ass. Instead take a closer look at the geek squad. Not only are they tomorrow's tall, dark and handsome success stories but you actually have something in common with them. And no, not just acne, these boys read and watch real films, not just blockbusters. And they have manners, they want you to like them back so will try harder to be a good boyfriend and they are probably better kissers because they've spent way more time reading about it.

2. Who gives a fig what other people think? So what if you still prefer horses to boys? Boys aren't everything and you'll have a whole lifetime of trying to understand them, so go ahead and spend all weekend and summer holidays mucking out the barn with the other barn girls. Same for wearing your grandmother's perfect 1970s suede and faux fur coat, or her little black dress. Looking quirky or different is actually a good thing and is an expression of who you are. This should have been my mantra as a teenager but  it took years to develop into a life philosophy I can be confident in. Wish I'd believed in it sooner.

3. Do your homework! I coasted through high school, barely studying and giving my homework only a cursory glance. What this taught me was I didn't have to work that hard to achieve things (I got good grades) and I didn't need discipline. Well there's a reason it took my decades to publish a novel! When you want to do anything creative that hasn't a "job" attached to it then you have to make yourself work hard. No one cares if you finish a manuscript or a screenplay or write that song, only you. So it took my a long time to train myself self-discipline.

4. Friends come and go but family is forever. Many times, too many, I would skip family functions or even just quality family time with my mother, grandmother and sisters to hang with friends. This is natural for teens I realize but how many friends from high school are still in my life? Very few! But now that some of my closest family members have passed away I wish I'd spent more time with them.

5. Embrace the six month rule! Kind of like "don't sweat the small stuff" this is a rule my best friend and I came up with and it's in our etiquette book The Fabulous Girl's Guide to Decorum. Basically it means when you're worried or anxious about something that's going on in your life ask yourself how important will the outcome be in six months? A small error at school that means a failed test or trouble with a teacher? It can be made up and will be forgotten in six months! But not studying for your SATs can mean you won't get into the college of your dreams and that affects you long term! This is a useful life philosophy for any age but it's good to get started on it when you're young!

Thanks Kim! xoxo, L&L

To read more about Kim, head on over to Facebook and Twitter or head on over to her website.

Jill Kargman's 5 Things I'd Tell the Teen Me

Today's guest: Jill Kargman Why we love her: She's hilarious (and used lots of curse words in her "5 things" see below!)

Her latest: Rock Star in Seat 3A (out tomorrow- May 22!)

The scoop: It's Hazel's thirtieth birthday and she has everything she's ever wanted: a kickass job, a dream apartment in New York City, and the perfect boyfriend—who's just days away from proposing. Hazel thinks she's happy but isn't quite ready to settle down. So when her most far-fetched fantasy enters the realm of the possible, shouldn't she drop everything to see it through?

The morning after her birthday, Hazel boards a flight to L.A. only to get the surprise of her life. When she's bumped up to first class, extra legroom and free drinks are absolutely the last things on her mind when she catches sight of her seatmate: her all-time biggest celebrity crush, rock star Finn Schiller! Only the night before she'd confessed her infatuation with the gorgeous musician, and her boyfriend joked that she had a free pass if she ever met him. Hazel can't believe fate has actually thrown them together.

Even more unbelievable is that during the flight they genuinely connect. Finn likes her uncensored cursing and wicked sense of humor, and that she's unlike all of his groupies; Hazel likes his killer looks, ripped physique, and soulful music. But what started as a fantasy quickly becomes a real attraction, and after a dream date and taste of the rock-star life with Finn in L.A., Hazel is forced to examine the track her life is on. Indulging in a passionate affair with a rock star seems crazy—but could she ever forgive herself if she walked away from her wildest dream coming true? And is her wildest dream the stuff that happiness is made of?

Our thoughts: It's a must-read for any chick lit-lover. You'll love to escape with this lighthearted and LOL funny rock-n-roll Cinderella fantasy. Plus, who hasn't fantasized about who their seatmate would be on an airplane??

Giveaway: 5 copies! Just leave a comment and we'll randomly select the winners after 6pm PST on Tuesday, May 29th.

Fun fact: She has a writing partner and they've co-authored several novels, including two YA books.

Where you can read more about Jill: Her website.

CHICK LIT IS NOT DEAD PRESENTS...JILL KARGMAN'S 5 THINGS I'D TELL THE TEEN ME

1. It is total bullshit that “these are the best years of your life.” They’re SO NOT! The best is yet to come and do not let anyone make you feel lucky to be young. It’s filled with stress and frustration and waiting to be free in so many ways and I swear it all gets better. Much.

2. Zits clear.

3. You have not yet met all of your bridesmaids. Friendships are tricky when you bond at a young age because often times it’s simply proximity or inertia rather than that organic closeness that comes with growing up and then meeting a parallel kindred spirit rather than just geography class throwing you together. You will meet all kind of incredible women who truly appreciate you for who you are and they will become like sister so don’t let the beeyotches ever be a thorn in your side.

4. It’s so good that you didn’t drink. The partygirls all look like crap now.  And very prescient on the sunblock and tons of water.

5. Love is on the way. Drawn hearts in the margin and romantic stories in your head will one day feel real instead of fantasy. Just hold on tight. There will be douchebags and loneliness and longing so painful you feel like you will barf up your heart, but be patient and most of all, be yourself.

Thanks, Jill!

xoxo, Liz & Lisa

Time Magazine's Mommy War: Can't we all just get along? by Liz

Unless you've been living under a rock for the last week, I'm sure you've seen this recent Time magazine cover asking if you're Mom Enough. I'll admit, when I first laid eyes on it, I was pissed. I posted it to my Facebook page with a snide comment.  I made assumptions about that ridiculously hot mom and wondered how the hell her boobs looked that great after breastfeeding for five thousand years. And I wasn't alone-a social networking and media firestorm over the "right" way to parent raged on the internet. Angry status wars on Facebook.  Twitter debates heard around the world.

But, then I realized something. The executives at Time magazine who orchestrated this whole thing were most likely laughing their asses off and high-fiving each other for inciting another mommy riot-selling a shitload of magazines in the process. And why not?  We make it so easy for them!

You see, the reason this cover pisses us off is not because there's a three-year-old nibbling on his mom's boob, but the way that picture and headline below it make us feel.  If you don't wear your baby in a sling-you suck.  If your boobs aren't providing milk until your kid hits kindergarten, you've failed as a mother.  Only evil mothers let their babies cry it out. And we buy into it, getting defensive and attacking attachment parenting until we're blue in the face. When, in reality, there's nothing wrong with attachment parenting-it just may not be right for you.

And it seems we've forgotten one really important thing: There's more than one way to be a great parent.

The media loves to kick up a good shitstorm between women.  Perfect example?  The classic stay-at-home mom vs working mom debate.  Our instinct is to put one another down in order to feel better about our own choices-that insecurity we all harbor deep down inside that we may not be supermom rearing it's ugly head anytime someone suggests one lifestyle is better than the other.

Personally, I'm tired of seeing mothers fight over what the "right" choices are.  Dr. Phil can solve paternity issues, find long-lost siblings and fix bad marriages in one hour flat, but when he had SAHMs and working moms on his show, the debate was so heated that they had to extend into two hours.  The venom that was spewed and the judgement that was handed down on both sides was disturbing and hard to watch.

Here's a thought: What if we took that energy and supported each other instead?  Or better yet, work on getting right within ourselves so we don't attack each other? And when did the F did mothering turn into a competitive sport?

I choose to work because I enjoy it-and I'm not ashamed to be a working mother.  And I've always felt that if moms make choices that make them happy(as long as it doesn't include cocaine and a bottle of tequila!) that their family will probably be happy too. It was the right decision for me-but that doesn't mean it's the right choice for others. I have great love and respect for the stay-at-home Moms out there and have good friends on both sides of this coin.  And if there's snarky comments or judgment directed my way from others because of how I live my life, I've finally figured out that it has more to do with them than me.

I'm not a perfect mom by any means(and probably the worst girl scout leader EVEH, but that's a whole other blog!), and I know I've made more than my share of mistakes.  I'm just like y'all-I worry that the choices I make today will effect my kids later on. But I hope that I'm teaching them that no one moment, good or bad, defines them as long as they live in the present. And that whether I breastfed until they graduated college or not at all, I love them more than anything in this world. And it's that love for our children that makes us ALL Mom enough.

I want to know what YOU think!  I've got a GREAT prize package for someone! A BUNDLE O' BOOKS! Leave a comment and I'll choose the winner on Monday May 21st after 6pm PST.

xoxo, Liz

Catherine McKenzie's 5 Things I'd Tell The Teen Me

Our guest today: Catherine McKenzie Why we love her: She writes  about things that are hot in pop culture. We love this book because it was inspired by the phenomenon of reality TV shows like The Bachelor. And y'all know how we feel about The Bachelor.

Her latest: Arranged

The scoop on it: Anne Blythe's life couldn't be better. She's got a book contract, a great job and a fabulous BFF. She also seems to have no problem in the men department. Well, if you don't count the fact that although she can hook any man she sets her sights on, those men don't seem to stay on that hook for very long. Anne blames this on her mother, believing she is cursed because she's named after the title character in Anne of Green Gables.

After another bad break-up with a man more in love with himself than with her (she's realizing this is a pattern — falling for tall, dark, handsome and self-absorbed), Anne finds a business card imprinted with her namesake, Blythe & Company: Arrangements made. She assumes it's for a dating service and decides to hang on to it. When her best friend announces her engagement, Anne feels envious and, on a whim, decides to make an appointment with Blythe & Company. But she's shocked to discover that it's not a dating service at all — it's a company that specializes in exclusive, and pricey, arranged marriages. Anne decides to put her reluctance aside after she learns of the company's 95 percent success rate. Anne thinks, why not get some professional help? Women around the world do it all the time.

Before she knows it, Anne is traveling to a Mexican resort where she meets and marries Jack. But will her arranged marriage work out?

Our thoughts: A smart and honest novel about a woman's desperate search for love and marriage as she ends up in one disastrous relationship after the next, this book hit home for us!

Giveaway: FIVE copies! Leave a comment and be entered to win!  We’ll choose the winners Sunday May 20th after 6pm PST.

Fun fact: On top of being an internationally best selling author, Catherine currently practices law. C'mon!

Where you can read more about Catherine: Twitter, Facebook and her website.

CHICK LIT IS NOT DEAD PRESENTS...CATHERINE MCKENZIE'S 5 THINGS I'D TELL THE TEEN ME

1. You're going to publish a novel! More than one! For reals!

2. Do not date that guy. You know the one I mean.

3. Work a little harder at school. They're trying to teach you interesting stuff, if you let them.

4. Get a guitar. Take some lessons. Spend some time in your room practicing. You'll thank me later.

5. Be nicer to your siblings.They'll thank you later.

Thanks, Catherine! xoxo, Liz & Lisa

Zoe Fishman's 5 Things I'd Tell The Teen Me

Our guest today: Zoe Fishman Why we love her: Her writing is insightful and heartfelt!

Her latest: Saving Ruth

The scoop on it: When Ruth returns home to the South for the summer after her freshman year at college, a near tragedy pushes her to uncover family truths and take a good look at the woman she wants to become.

Growing up in Alabama, all Ruth Wasserman wanted was to be a blond Baptist cheerleader. But as a curly-haired Jew with a rampant sweet tooth and a smart mouth, this was an impossible dream. Not helping the situation was her older brother, David—a soccer star whose good looks, smarts, and popularity reigned at school and at home. College provided an escape route and Ruth took it.

Now home for the summer, she's back lifeguarding and coaching alongside David, and although the job is the same, nothing else is. She's a prisoner of her low self-esteem and unhealthy relationship with food, David is closed off and distant in a way he's never been before, and their parents are struggling with the reality of an empty nest. When a near drowning happens on their watch, a storm of repercussions forces Ruth and David to confront long-ignored truths about their town, their family, and themselves.

Our thoughts: Liz devoured it over spring break while sitting by the pool sipping margaritas.  She LOVED it with a capital L! Throw it into your beach bag pronto.

Giveaway: FIVE copies! Leave a comment and be entered to win!  We'll choose the winners Sunday May 20th after 6pm PST.

Fun Fact: Zoe met her husband on the subway after working up the nerve for years to say hello to him. Awwwww....

CHICK LIT IS NOT DEAD PRESENTS...ZOE FISHMAN'S 5 THINGS I'D TELL THE TEEN ME

1.Have a point of view.  It’s okay to have an opinion that’s different from everyone else’s. If you believe strongly in or about something, speak up. Who cares if some people are annoyed, or you ruffle a feather or two? As long as you speak from the heart and are respectful of the other perspective, you’re golden.

2.Leave your hair alone. Your hair is curly. Put down the hair drier, invest in a killer product and let it be. Looking like ZZ Top is not the look.

3.Devote about 85% of the energy you waste obsessing about boys and your weight to reading and writing. Oy. If I had a penny for every journal entry that went on and on about some idiot that treated me like crap or my food ingestion guilt, I would be a very rich woman. Personal enrichment is a much better idea than driving past some guy’s house 16 times on a Saturday afternoon. Not that I ever did that.

4.Raise your hand more in class. Ask questions. If you’re unsure about something, ask! No question is dumb. Well, some questions are dumb, but I happen to know that you are smart enough to know the difference.

5.It’s okay to be vulnerable. You don’t have to be a tough girl all the time. Softness is actually a very endearing quality. Besides, you’re really not fooling the people that know you best.

Thanks Zoe! xoxo, L&L

To read more about Zoe, head on over to her website or find her on Facebook and Twitter.

Josie Brown's 5 Things I'd Tell The Teen Me

Our guest today: Josie Brown Why we love her: She writes about seemingly perfect people and communities that turn out to be not so perfect.

Her latest eBook: The Housewife Assassin's Handbook

The dealio on it: Every housewife wants an alias. Donna Stone* has one, and it happens to be government sanctioned. Oh sure, you need to be ruthless to take on Russian mafia bosses, rogue dictators, and terrorists set on destroying the world. But it takes real killer instincts to survive suburbia. Try juggling the fifth grade phone tree during a shootout with skinhead arms dealers.

Donna’s life wasn’t always this complicated. Five years earlier she was just another woman with two preschoolers, a baby bump, and an adoring husband: Carl, with whom she lived happily ever after in a McMansion in the Orange County, California community of Hilldale. But Donna’s life was changed forever the night she delivered her baby: Carl’s car blew up on the way to the hospital.

Turns out Carl was a “hard man”—an assassin—for the black ops organization known as Acme Industries. The hit on Alex was carried out by the Quorum, a terrorist cell he was tracking. The Quorum’s motto: “Show me the money.” Governments and corporations do as they’re told—or suffer bloody consequences. To protect herself and avenge Carl’s death, Donna joined Acme. Whereas her hostessing skills rival Martha Stewart’s, her marksmanship is second to none.

A good thing, too, because the Quorum has planted a sleeper cell in Hilldale. Acme’s way of flushing out the Quorum is by “bringing Carl back from the dead.” But terrorism makes strange bedfellows--and brings new meaning to that old adage “Honey, I’m home…”

Our thoughts: Fun and sassy, just the way we like it over here!

Giveaway: We have FIVE eCopies!  Just leave a comment by Sunday May 13th at 6pm PST. And for a chance to win a $50 giftcard to the bookstore of your choice, enter The Housewife Assassin Handbook’s Mother’s Day Contest by reading an excerpt here…

Fun Fact: ABC has bought the rights to Josie's novel,  The Secret Lives of Husbands and Wives and will be developing it into a series!

CHICK LIT IS NOT DEAD PRESENTS...JOSIE BROWN'S 5 THINGS I'D TELL THE TEEN ME

1: Listen to your gut. A few years back I ran into an old boyfriend: someone I’d dated for four years, back when I was a mere twentysomething. Back then I thought he was a keeper. Obviously he had other ideas, which is why,  when I walked into his apartment unannounced and found him in bed with someone else,  I gave into the urge to ram his car in a tree.  Warp speed  a decade later: After the shock and awe of seeing each other, we warily played catch up. Of course, by then both of us were married to others, and had children.

 “You told me that you never wanted kids,” he said with a “A-ha!”  tone.

 “I don’t remember that,” was my response. Then it hit me: “In hindsight, I guess what I meant was, ‘I never want to have kids with you.’”

 Your gut tells you when things are right or wrong. He was all wrong for me. Instead I married the right man, and together we share two children who are (to paraphrase Mary Poppins) practically perfect in every way.

2: Do whatever it is that will make you feel great about yourself. Get contacts. Get vajazzled. Straighten your hair. Hell, get a Mohawk, if you want. Confidence is a priceless trait. No one is saying that looking like Lisbeth Salander is going to change your life (okay, maybe looking like her will crossing the street because they think you’re a badass) but if you look fabulous, you feel fabulous, too.

 3. Be a friend—and hang with friends. How do you know if someone is a true friend? You find that answer when the chips are down.

A good friend is someone who loves you even when you’re not at your best: when you’ve been kicked to the curb by the guy in your life, when you’re having a bad hair day, and when everyone else acts as if you’ve got cooties. Being a friend means having the guts to be the same, even when others have lost confidence in your pal.  Having one or two real friends whom you can call when life is mean or slow or awesome, is priceless. Here’s hoping you find them somewhere on your life’s journey.

4. Karma is a bitch, so don’t cross her. If you find it hard to curb the urge to slash and burn on whimsy, inevitably there will be payback. (Cue SFX of evil cackle…) And yes, it will happen when you least expect it. (Hint: Always wear clean underwear.)

5. Never give up on your dreams. Our dreams define us. They are what drive us to be our best selves. If you believe you can accomplish something, you can. I’m not trying to sound like Tony Roberts or the best fortune cookie you ever opened, but I am living proof that if you have the talent and determination to do something, no one can stand in your way.

 Well, maybe one person: YOU.

Thanks Josie! xoxo, L&L

To read more about Josie, head on over to her website or find her on Facebook and Twitter.

Barbara O'Neal's 5 Things I'd Tell The Teen Me

Our guest today: Barbara O'Neal Why we love her: We LOVED her last book, How to Bake a Perfect Life and couldn't wait for the next one!

Her latest book: The Garden of Happy Endings

The scoop on it: After tragedy shatters her small community in Seattle, the Reverend Elsa Montgomery has a crisis of faith. Returning to her hometown of Pueblo, Colorado, she seeks work in a local soup kitchen. Preparing nourishing meals for folks in need, she keeps her hands busy while her heart searches for understanding.

Meanwhile, her sister, Tamsin, as pretty and colorful as Elsa is unadorned and steadfast, finds her perfect life shattered when she learns that her financier husband is a criminal. Enduring shock and humiliation as her beautiful house and possessions are seized, the woman who had everything now has nothing but the clothes on her back.

But when the going gets tough, the tough get growing. A community garden in the poorest, roughest part of town becomes a lifeline. Creating a place of hope and sustenance opens Elsa and Tamsin to the renewing power of rich earth, sunshine, and the warm cleansing rain of tears. While Elsa finds her heart blooming in the care of a rugged landscaper, Tamsin discovers the joy of losing herself in the act of giving—and both women discover that with time and care, happy endings flourish.

Our thoughts: Perfect Mother's Day gift for your favorite Mom! Or anyone else for that matter.

Giveaway: FIVE copies!  Leave a comment and we'll choose the winners May 13 after 6pm PST.

Fun fact: Barbara has a blog called Writer Afoot-check it out!

CHICK LIT IS NOT DEAD PRESENTS...BARBARA O'NEAL'S 5 THINGS I'D TELL THE TEEN ME

1.  Get a sport.  I don’t care what you choose (as long as it isn’t a ball sport, because you and I both know that we have very little coordination and are chosen last for team sports for a reason).   But go ahead, join the cross country team or the swim team—you’ll have fun and make better friends and will be forced to stop the silly smoking thing way before you get lines around your mouth.

2.  You are so much smarter than you think you are.  All those counselors trying to get you to go to college, telling you that you’re smart and you’ll like it and they can find you the money?  Listen to them.  Smart is better that hot and you’re going to end up in college anyway in a couple of years, at which time the guy you think you CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT is going to be pissed off and you’ll end up leaving him. Let me say it again: smart will get you a lot more satisfaction than being hot. Not that hotness is bad.

3. Trust your sisters.  They are going to be in your corner for so much longer than anyone else you know right now.   They might be annoying, but hey, you’re annoying, too, and they still love you.  Even when you borrow shirts without asking.

4.  High school will not last forever. I promise.  It’s boring and exhausting and the hours are incredibly irritating, but college will be fantastic.  You will love it and you will finally get to explore all the things you think are incredibly interesting—writing, of course, but also photography and life drawing and anthropology and psychology and horticulture. The parties are great, but the classes are even better.

5.  There are approximately 150 million young men in the world.  A lot of them will be interesting and exciting to you, so don’t put up with guys who cannot hold a conversation and only want to go out to their friends’ houses and drink beer.  Find somebody who likes the things you do, which is talking and writing and thinking and movies, and hang out with HIM.  Smart guys will bring more satisfaction than a merely hot one. Not that hotness is bad.

Thanks Barbara!  xoxo, L&L

To read more about Barbara, head on over to her website or find her on Facebook and Twitter.

Liz & Lisa's Best books for Mom + huge giveaway!

Forget the tired mani-pedi. Or the bazillionth massage gift certificate. Or even the flowers (they'll be gone in a week, maybe sooner). This Mother's Day, we're all about BOOKS. We love 'em and we know you do too. And we've come up with our list of reads that we think will make a perfect addition to any mom's bookshelf. From The Language of Flowers to The B*tch, we've selected a book that will satisfy any mom. So as you're shopping for Mom this year (Mother's Day is just a few days a way) consider giving her a book as a gift.  Or more than one. We'll even help you out with that. Because, today, we're giving away 15 books to one lucky person. Yes, you read that right- 15 (plus a couple of other fun things!) Scroll down for the list of books (and goodies) we're giving away--some from our list of Mother's Day picks and others that we've read and loved along the way...

For the mom with a huge heart...

The Language of Flowers by Vanessa Diffenbaugh

Why buy? Elle hailed it as "instantly entrancing" and we couldn't agree more. It's rich with love and emotion as the protagonist fights through her painful past.

The scoop: The Victorian language of flowers was used to convey romantic expressions: honeysuckle for devotion, asters for patience, and red roses for love. But for Victoria Jones, it’s been more useful in communicating mistrust and solitude. After a childhood spent in the foster-care system, she is unable to get close to anybody, and her only connection to the world is through flowers and their meanings. Now eighteen and emancipated from the system with nowhere to go, Victoria realizes she has a gift for helping others through the flowers she chooses for them. But an unexpected encounter with a mysterious stranger has her questioning what’s been missing in her life. And when she’s forced to confront a painful secret from her past, she must decide whether it’s worth risking everything for a second chance at happiness.

For the mom who loves Shades of Grey...

Great Aunt Sophia's Lessons for Bombshells by Lisa Cach

Why buy? Why not? Shades of Grey is proving every mom has fantasies. Plus, that *special someone* in her life will thank you! *Even though it won't be released until June 19, we couldn't resist putting it on the list. Pre-order it here.

The scoop: Grace Cavanaugh is hell-bent on proving her Women’s Studies dissertation thesis that beauty only leads to misery. And what better research subject than her great-aunt Sophia, a former B-movie star? Now eighty-five and facing surgery, Sophia has asked Grace for company. . . .Grace imagines a helpless, lonely old woman, forced to turn to a great-niece she barely knows. Instead she finds the aging diva holding court in a Pebble Beach mansion, oozing a bombshell-itude—arthritis and wrinkles be damned—that captivates every male in sight. To Grace’s dismay, her greataunt decides a perfect distraction would be transforming the frumpy feminist into a femme fatale who purrs for her suitors . . . or devours them. She ordains classes in everything from carb cutting to lingerie, culminating in a challenging final exam. The newly svelte Grace must test her wiles—on both devilishly handsome and morally corrupt Declan and sensitive but painfully awkward Dr. Andrew. Newly unleashed desires—and the discovery of a closely held family secret— threaten the bookworm-turned-babe’s entire feminist upbringing. Her thesis gone sadly awry, Grace wonders if her great-aunt is right: Will trusting her heart lead her to find beauty in the most unexpected places?

For the mom who loves a good (and true!) love story...

The Pioneer Woman:Black Heels to Tractor Wheels- A Love Story by Ree Drummond

Why buy? One of the best memoirs we've read this year.

The scoop: That’s when I saw him—the cowboy—across the smoky room. I’ll never forget that night. It was like a romance novel, an old Broadway musical, and a John Wayne Western rolled into one. Out for a quick drink with friends, I wasn’t looking to meet anyone, let alone a tall, rugged cowboy who lived on a cattle ranch miles away from my cultured, corporate hometown. But before I knew it, I’d been struck with a lightning bolt . . . and I was completely powerless to stop it. This isn’t just my love story; it’s a universal tale of passion, romance, and all-encompassing love that sweeps us off our feet. It’s the story of a cowboy. And Wranglers. And chaps. And the girl who fell in love with them.

For the mom who loves Chick Lit

Skinnydipping by Bethenny Frankel

Why buy? Whether the mom in your life likes reality TV, Bethenny, Chick Lit or just wants an escape, this book is perfect.

The scoop: Faith Brightstone is an aspiring actress just out of college, who moves to L.A. determined to have it all—a job on the most popular TV show, a beach house in Malibu, and a gorgeous producer boyfriend. But when reality hits, she finds herself with a gig as a glorified servant, a role that has more to do with T&A than acting, and a dead-end relationship. Finally, Faith decides she’s had enough of La La Land and moves back to New York with just a suitcase and her dog, Muffin.

Five years later, Faith has finally found her groove as an entrepreneur and manages to land a spot on a new reality TV show hosted by her idol—the legendary businesswoman and domestic goddess Sybil Hunter. Diving into the bizarre world of reality TV, Faith’s loud mouth and tell-it-like-it-is style immediately get her in trouble with her fellow contestants—the delusional socialite; the boozy lifestyle coach; the moody headband designer; and her closest friend, the ambitious housewife who eventually betrays her. Even Sybil is not what she appears. As the show comes to a dramatic close, Faith discovers that the man of her dreams may have just walked into her life. Will she choose fame or love? Or can she have it all?

For the mom looking for some sass...

The B*tch by Jackie Collins

Why buy? Um, it's a no-brainer. It's Jackie Collins! Plus, she re-wrote and published this e-book herself!

The scoop: Las Vegas. A carousel town set in the middle of the desert. Blazing neon signs promise all the vices known to man, and then some. Devastatingly handsome ladies’ man Nico Constantine hits town to make a killing at the casinos. But instead of tripling what’s left of his dwindled fortune, he ends up losing everything, and owing the mob — big time. Meanwhile, gloriously beautiful Fontaine Khaled has shed her filthy rich husband for the life she really wants: a riotous whirl of champagne, designer clothes, and the hottest, sexiest men. But her never-ending party comes with a price — one even her ex-husband’s outrageous alimony payments can’t afford. When Nico collides with Fontaine, their mutual lust is immediate and intense. Nico will need to use her if he wants to stay alive, and Fontaine fears she’s met her match. Love is the last thing on their minds, but it may be their fate — if their creditors don’t get them first.

Giveaway deets: Leave a comment and be entered to win ALL of the following books. We'll randomly select ONE lucky winner after 6pm EST on Monday, May 14.

Here's what you can win...

Lucky Stiff by Deborah Coonts, More Like Her by Liza Palmer, Me Before You by Jojo Moyes, The Turning of Anne Merrick by Christine Blevins, Brooklyn Story by Suzanne Corso, I, Iago by Nicole Galland, The Most Dangerous Thing by Laura Lippman, Spin by Catherine McKenzie, The Language of Flowers by Vanessa Diffenbaugh, The Thirteen by Susie Maloney, The Bond by Wayne Pacelle, All the Flowers in Shanghai by Duncan Jepson, The Pioneer Woman by Ree Drummond, Bond Girl by Erin Duffy...

Plus:  You can also win: 1 Gift Card for $10 to Amazon, Lucky Santangelo mug and a Lovers & Players notebook and a copy of Hollywood Wives.

Good luck!

xoxo,

Liz & Lisa

Jen Lancaster's 5 Do's and a Do-Over

We're pinching ourselves. Jen Lancaster on our site twice? In three months? WTF?

Last time Jen was here--celebrating CLIND's 3rd birthday and sharing the 5 things she'd tell her teen self--our website LITERALLY crashed (the most exciting thing to happen to us in a long time!) because y'all flooded it with over 600 comments about how much you CRUSH on her and LOVE her books.

Well, we're prepared (and weirdly excited) that it may happen again. Because she's baaaaack and of course giving away 5 copies of her latest- and if you ask us her funniest (we're Gen X'ers, it was a no-brainer)- Jeneration X and sharing her 5 Do's and a Do-Over, which, of course, are perfection. Check out #4- so amazing and makes us love her even more.

So leave a comment to be entered to win!  We'll choose FIVE winners on Sunday May 13th after 6pm PST.  Good luck!

But first, here's the scoop on Jeneration X: One Reluctant Adult's Attempt to Unarrest Her Arrested Development; Or, Why It's Never Too Late for Her Dumb Ass to Learn Why Froot Loops Are Not for Dinner: In Such a Pretty Fat, Jen Lancaster learned how to come to terms with her body. In My Fair Lazy, she expanded her mind. Now the New York Times bestselling author gives herself—and her generation—a kick in the X, by facing her greatest challenge to date: acting her age.

Jen is finally ready to put away childish things (except her Barbie Styling Head, of course) and embrace the investment-making, mortgage-carrying, life-insurance-having adult she’s become. From getting a mammogram to volunteering at a halfway house, she tackles the grown-up activities she’s resisted for years, and with each rite of passage she completes, she’ll uncover a valuable—and probably humiliating—life lesson that will ease her path to full-fledged, if reluctant, adulthood.

CHICK LIT IS NOT DEAD PRESENTS...JEN LANCASTER'S 5 DO'S AND A DO-OVER

Greetings from the Jeneration X World (okay, National) Tour!  I'm delighted to be here at Chick Lit Is Not Dead again and so pleased to share this latest round of Dos and a Do-Over. Thanks, ladies - you rock!

Although I'm fairly prolific in telling people what they should and should not do, it's nice when my advice is actually solicited instead of, um... offered anyway. (Read: communicated from the front seat of my car by way of the horn and an obscene finger gesture.)  But seriously, if some kid feels it's imperative to post on Facebook while driving and thus endanger my life over a scintillating missive regarding her great distaste for Mondays, then it's MY job to set her straight.

Not just for me, though.

For the future of America.

The topic of the way things ought to be has been weighing heavily on my mind ever since I began writing Jeneration X, a guide to helping reluctant adults everywhere grow up!  (I realize it's difficult to take the great leap to maturity, but I've done all the hard work for you.)  This book is a bit of a throwback to my early work, meaning I've gotten a little too nice in my past few memoirs. But fear not... the bitch from Bitter is back!

And with that being said, here we go!

1. DO stop flying by the seat of your pants.  For the longest time, I let important things like writing a will fall by the wayside.  I didn't want to have to face the idea of my own mortality so I evaded the whole process.  In my head, I equivocated "no will" with "no untimely demise."  But after one particularly turbulent cross-country flight, it occurred to me that I needed more than a cocktail napkin declaring "I leave everything to my pit bull Maisy" if things suddenly went awry.  Didn't want to do one, but I did it anyway.  Now I'm not prematurely aging from the stress of having so many loose ends, which, clearly, is a priority.

2. DO believe you can accomplish anything you set your mind to, but not in that "I've had zero formal training, yet I'm shocked I didn't make it to Hollywood on American Idol" way.  Dream big, but understand that success doesn't happen by accident.  Put in the effort to cultivate your talent and then you'll be unstoppable.

3. DO your homework when it comes to your bottom line.  Now's the time to take advantage of those lower interest rates, boring though the process may seem.  A quick caveat here - try not to get so wrapped up watching an internet girl-fight before you leave that you barely have enough time to get dressed and, thus, end up throwing on a bra that's too tight and spend the whole refinancing meeting quietly moaning about the shackles binding your chest.  And then also remember that the bank's reflective windows mean you can't see in, but they can see out.  So, when you remove your bra all Flashdance-style in the parking lot, you will have an unintended audience.  I realize this is a very specific example, but trust me when I say the new bank will not be impressed with applicants who strip in the parking lot.

4. DO spread the love.  Over the years, I've learned that my favorite people are other authors.  You'd think that we'd all be ultra-competitive with one another so I was pleasantly surprised at what a supportive sisterhood I've found in wonderful writers like Caprice Crane, Karyn Bosnak, Stacey Ballis, Quinn Cummings, Sarah Pekkanen, Jennifer Weiner, Emily Giffin, Allison Winn Scotch, Jane Green, and Beth Harbison (and many, many others.) Writing isn't Highlander in that there can be only one.  And this year, at Jen Weiner's suggestion, we're making it our job to champion up and coming authors because it's tough sledding out there for the new gals and we want to do what we can to help them reach larger audiences.

5. DO live in the moment.  I got my start as a writer when I was laid off ten years ago.  In that time while I was searching for a job, I never once just enjoyed the moment.  Granted it's hard to unclench when the wolves are at the door, but I feel like if I'd ever stopped for one second and thought, "For the next couple of hours, I should quit worrying and just appreciate that I don't have eleven bosses telling me what to do," then I probably would have been a lot less intense in my job interviews.  In retrospect, I am very happy with how it all turned out, but I wish I could have cut myself a small break now and again.

And finally...

DO NOT hire the cheapest accountant you can find.  Believe me when I say this is the most expensive lesson I ever learned. Ditto for doctors and lawyers.  These are instances where credentials far outweigh savings.

So... that's it!  Again, ladies, thanks so much for having me and don't forget, it's never too late to unarrest your arrested development.  I know I've crossed over to the dark side of adulthood, but it's clean and nice over here and we never run out of toilet paper...

Thank YOU, Jen!

xoxo,

L&L

To find out more about Jen Lancaster, check out her website and follow her on Facebook and Twitter.