I've always fancied myself a matchmaker. Which is probably why I declared my love for The Millionaire Matchmaker in last week's Watch this, not That and why I am loving Marla Martenson's new memoir DIARY OF A BEVERLY HILLS MATCHMAKER, a hilarious look at her days as a real-life L.A. matchmaker. Want a chance to win your own copy? Just leave a comment about your own dating experiences and you'll be entered to win! Back in the day, I'd set singles up with abandon. In fact, I think I set up one of my guy friends so much that he ended up dating just about every single girl I knew with in a thirty-mile radius. Good for him, bad for my parties. *cue awkward situation*
Truth be told, not one of my matches ever worked out. My superior sales skills would bring them each to the table, (She's so smart! He loves his mother!) but it never quite clicked. Most crashed and burned pretty quickly, with me standing in the middle. And that's the thing- a true matchmaker probably holds the secret how to put two people you care about together without getting involved with the fallout when it fails. Because, let's admit it, most of them do. But when it works out, you get all the glory...
Did I mention that Lisa and her hubby were setup? They were so happy about it that they even made a special toast to the couple who brought them together at the rehearsal dinner! And yes, I was secretly jealous. Because I had also tried my hand at setting her up over the years unsuccessfully. But considering her matchmaker has at least five marriages under her setup belt, there was no way I could compete. This woman has a gift. And after fifteen years of trying, I'm willing to publicly admit that I was a sucky setter-upper.
But good or bad, it's always a good story-here are some of my personal faves:
1. Slammed into the back of a hottie driving a BMW on the 405 freeway. (sorry about the bumper!) Too cute to let him get away but already married, boldly asked him if he was single and gave him Lisa's email address. Yep, right there on the side of the road. He turned out to be a total douche bag. But still, I think I deserve an A for effort. Right, Lisa?
2. During an impromptu post break-up trip to Las Vegas, pushed Lisa off on a Teva-with-socks wearing Midwesterner at Coyote Ugly in an attempt to make her feel better. Should I even mention the irony when we discovered later that his last name was ROTTEN? Widely considered my rock bottom as matchmaker. Lesson learned: Don't EVUH set someone up while in Vegas. There's a reason what happens in Vegas stays there.
3.One of my BFs said she had a mailman that I just had to meet. I was skeptical but curious.(I had never gone government before!) But when we accidentally bumped into his hot swing dance partner on our first date, I knew it wasn't a love connection. Let's just say I wish my friend had led with "swing-dancing mailman". It would have saved us all a lot of time.
4. Things were going well with the hot district attorney that my roommate set me up with. Until I made a drunken argument for why, as children, we were allowed to skip but not run on the playground. Because, really, wasn't skipping faster? In my defense, I was one fast-ass skipper in my time. After that, our case was dismissed.
Tell us your blind date and/or matchmaking story and be entered to win DIARY OF A BEVERLY HILLS MATCHMAKER!