We head to Maui. Together.
But before you get too jealous, we should probably mention that we were outnumbered by children on this trip. Because nothing says relaxation like having 4 kids and a baby on a five-hour flight and in close quarters for seven days.
So how did we find a way to get our aloha on? Read on to find out....
Thank Gawd for iPads
We may have been traveling with five children under the age of seven, but the flight was- dare we say... peaceful?! Thanks to, count 'em four iPads and three iTouches. Thank you, Steve Jobs, and the brilliant people of Apple for this invention. And yes, even the baby played Angry Birds. Lisa officially sold her soul to the devil in exchange for five minutes of uninterrupted time reading about Nick Lachey's wedding.
Pool Seat Wars
There's nothing like going on vacation only to set your alarm to get up at the crack o' freakin' dawn so you can, what else? Get pool chairs! Because as much as we loved our resort, there were only two chairs with umbrellas that overlooked the kids' pool. So each morning, one of us dragged our tired ass body to the pool with all of our
crap pool toys (side note: if this whole writing thing doesn't work out, we can become sherpas!) to claim our spot that we wouldn't return to for, um, a while. (Er, sorry to the folks who had to move our stuff. Liz and Lisa+no shade=burnt unhappy campers.)
The love affairs
For Liz it was a middle-aged concierge with a bright smile and a serious gift of gab. For Lisa it was a far too young, boy-toyish paddle surfing instructor who bragged about how much money he made but made up for it by exposing his amazing set of abs. But hey, the pickins were slim at our resort so we were excited to get our flirt on with some decent looking men. Or for one of us, a boy.
Hi, I'm Julie McCoy, and I'll be your cruise director.
We should've given Liz a clipboard, a perm and a really short pair of shorts because the second we landed in Maui, she became our cruise director. Our really anal, really controlling cruise director. The upside? She and her boyfriend, the concierge, set us up with a lot of really great activities like surf lessons and reservations at Maui's finest restaurants. The downside? Let's just say only our time spent in the bathroom wasn't choreographed. Things got a bit tense when Lisa, in a moment of desperation, had to put the kabosh on the Luau. Where was Issac and a round of cocktails when we needed him?
Liz the lobster
Maybe it was the fact that she thought she had to be on her A-game because she was our cruise director, but Liz barely even glanced at a cocktail until the last day. And then, well, let's just say she had a LOT of fun. But she forgot to put on sunscreen. Oops. Liz+vodka pogs+forgetting sunscreen= drunken lobster. But a really, really fun drunken lobster that let us all stay at the beach an hour longer than scheduled!
Liz's hidden talent
Lisa's six-month-old daughter was awesome. She slept poolside, beachside and just about everywhere we needed her to crash out. So we had to deal with poopy diapers in all kinds of places. And Lisa is still somewhat of a rookie when it comes to all of this. So when there was only one wipe left, (in a serious situation that required a lot more than one wipe!) Liz took that wipe smugly and said, you have no idea the things I can accomplish with just one of these. Twenty seconds later, one clean booty and one highly impressed BFF!
The Booze Cruise
Desperate for some alone adult time, a sunset and some "free" drinks, we set sail on a sunset cruise (a.k.a. booze cruise). Things we learned:
1. There's a fun game to be played called "Is she his daughter or his girlfriend?"
2. Even when it's drowning in a sh*t load of pineapple juice, Smirnoff is not and will never be a proper substitute for Grey Goose.
3. We're the only selfish parents who didn't bring our kids!?
4. After a few really bad well drinks, everyone on the cruise seemed to morph into a character from an 80's sitcom. (We thought we rubbed elbows with Eric Estrada "The Ponch" and Michael Keaton- not that Michael Keaton. We're talking that dude from Family Ties!)
Of course we love our kids. And, yes, we know we already went on a booze cruise without them. But let's just say after six days and the reality hitting that we were about to go home, one of the adults-who shall remain nameless- begged for another nanny service our last night in Maui. And we have to say it was worth every penny of the million dollar price tag (um, why didn't we become nannies in Maui again?) to be able to sit at a restaurant table for longer than two minutes without someone asking for a freakin' SMOOTHIE!
Tell us about your summer vacays and be entered to win a copy of one of our favorite beach reads of the summer, The First Husband by Laura Dave. We'll randomly select the winner after 6pm PST on Sunday, August 14th!
Aloha! xoxo, L&L