My Secret Love Affair with Big Brother by Liz

I have a secret. It's shameful and embarrassing.  And I do it three times a week. All. Summer. Long. I watch Big Brother.

Each year I tell myself I'm NOT going to watch it.  With so little time to watch TV in the first place, why in the HELL would I choose a show that's on, count 'em, THREE times a week?  And if I were going to watch a show that often, should it really be about self-absorbed drama mongers trapped in a house together for three months?

Why yes it should.

You see, there's something addicting about BB.  I find myself constantly checking out the Twitter feed of the dude who watches the live feed 24/7 (oh yes, there is one!) to get up to the minute updates on the house.  What is Rachel crying about now?  Who is Brendon bullying?  Are Jeff and Jordan really that freakin' likeable ALL THE TIME? (I think the answer may be yes...)

And I *may* have even considered subscribing to Showtime to get Big Brother After Dark.  Although I'm sure it would just be more of the same.  Fight, make-up, repeat.  But where else will you find contestants who lie about being a "VIP cocktail waitress" because they think others will be jealous or contestants that are so bored they steal the chess pieces and try to set someone up to take the fall?

But really, who can blame them?  If I was trapped in a house for that long with no TV, internet or even a freakin' BOOK to read, I would want to kick someone's ass all the time too.  Not to mention the fact that there are cameras EVERYWHERE. (Yes, even in the bathroom!)  Oh, the things people will do to win $500,000.....

I've been trying in vain the past six weeks to find other people who watch BB.  But either the hubs and I are the only one tuning in each week or people are ashamed to admit that, they too, enjoy watching Jeff pick his nose hairs. (OF COURSE they have a camera in the bathroom mirror!)

But don't worry my dear friends, it's not too late for you to join the fun.  And I'm going to give you five reasons to set your TiVO for this hot mess ASAP.

1. The girls you love to hate I can't decide which girl in the house makes me crazier.  Kalia's inflated sense of her own awesomeness, Danielle's devious game play, Shelly's incessant smoking (a poster child of why you shouldn't if there ever was one!) or Rachel's horrible ear-piercing laugh.  But I just can't get enough of those crazy bitches.

2. SLOP Each week some of the houseguests have to survive on this disgusting colored oatmeal and sleep on boards masquerading as beds with fluorescent lights on 24/7.  Oh, and in case you were wondering, not eating or sleeping for a week doesn't make people CRAZY at all.

3. Shirtless men  They may be annoying, but if you turn down the sound you can enjoy them shirtless each episode.  I guess that's what happens when you're stuck in a house all summer with nothing else to do but work out. They may not be allowed to eat, but there are plenty of free weights available!

4. Host Julie Chen I am fascinated by this woman.  She dresses like my grandmother (the suits! The hair!) and reads each cue card like she's a robot.  They don't call her the Chen-bot for nothing, y'all.

5. Jeff and Jordan  Okay, so maybe I'm in love with them.  Brought back this season as a "twist" (The Chen-bot LOVES twists!), they are the most likeable reality TV couple that I've seen (and I've seen a lot, people).  It may be the fact that they are on BB with the most UNLIKABLE couple EVEH (Brendon + Rachel=gagfest) that makes them look so good.  Either way, I want to double-date them.  Jeff and Jordan, are you reading this?  Call me!

So there you have it.  Tune in with me on Wednesday, Thursday and Sundays!  Are you in? And what are you watching this summer?  Tell me!

xo, Liz



Watch This, Not That: Summer Edition by Liz

Summer's finally here and I'm looking forward to all the things that come along with it. Like beach bonfires, BBQs and...all kinds of TV shows that weren't good enough for the regular season! Remember back in the day when the only thing on in the summer were reruns of all your favorite shows?  But then the powers that be realized that viewers were so desperate for fresh programming in July that they'd watch just about anything!  And so the summer season was born...

I'll admit that I've grown rather fond of many summer substandard shows. (Um, is this where I admit that I'm a closet Big Brother fan?)  And I always cheer just a little bit when one of my summer crushes graduates to the bigtime, aka the fall season schedule. (Bravo SYTYCD and Dancing with the Stars!)

And this summer is no exception with it's choices of gluttonous reality TV.  And lucky for you, I'm here to navigate y'all through what's trashy in a good way to what's just trash.


Losing it with Jillian I ran into this show by accident last week and thought I couldn't stand the thought of one more minute of Jillian's workouts, which usually consist of screaming and dramatic speeches about people healing from the inside.  But I was soon mesmerized by her heartfelt attempt to help an obese mom and dad lose weight in time for their daughter's wedding.  And I cried like a baby when Jillian gave her lameass, overly dramatic, camera too close to her face speech.  Against my better judgment, I'm season passing this one.

Wipeout What does it say about me that I LOVE LOVE LOVE to watch people eat sh*t on the big red balls?  I tried to tell myself that it was my crush on John Henson(dating all the way back to his days on Talk Soup) that kept me coming back for more.  But then I finally came to the realization that watching these people make asses out of themselves just makes me happy after a long day.  Don't judge.


The Bachelorette I've got to throw out the disclaimer that I actually watch this show religiously every week(so many facebook status opportunities! I can't control myself!) and have been a huge fan since the day Trista gave out her first rose. But this season can be, um, well, SLIGHTLY UNWATCHABLE at times. Between the wrestler, the James Spader wannabe and the questionable sexual orientation of the weatherman, I find myself rolling my eyes much more than usual. (And that's saying a lot people!)  And please someone tell me why we can't get through an episode without one of these guys crying a river.  It's making me want to take a torch and burn the rest of Ali's roses. (Or her hair extensions-WTF with those?)

True Beauty Another show that I'm beginning to have a love/hate relationship with.  Something about the horribly obnoxious and shallow contestants (who think their competing to be the "face of Las Vegas" but are really being judged on their inner beauty) is both repulsive and addicting at the same time.  But either way, I'm always wondering the same thing: Where the hell do they find these people? And I can never tell if it's my desperation to watch something new or actual humor that makes host Carson Kressly's quips funny.  Either way, I have a feeling that True Beauty will be gathering dust in my Tivo this summer.

Honorable NOT THAT mention: Minute to Win it is so incredibly lame that I refuse to write more than one sentence about it-you'll just have to trust me on this one.

What are YOU watching this summer?

xoxo, Liz