Jessica Simpson

Watch this, Not that By Lisa

DISCLAIMER: I'm going through an inexplicable "emotional phase" and the robot in me (and the hubs) is hoping to Hell that it will soon pass. Because it's affecting all areas of my life. Like how I interact on Facebook. (I've become a sappy, "I love you" spewing cyber-stalking mess!) And as you're about to read, it's severely affecting my television watching choices. As I've sat in front of the boob tube lately, there's been majuh tears and I'm not sure any of them were justified. And I'm not sure that non-emotional Lisa would at all approve of the television endorsements in this blog post anymore than you will. But here goes...(And PS: I don't have any "Don't Watch's" this week. Because, as you'll read, my judgment could be severely off. And what I think is a watcher, could be just the opposite. Feel free to let me know if my Kleenexes were not warranted. But I must warn you, if you're too hard on me I might cry!) Watch This

Jessica Simpson's The Price of Beauty Uh, huh. That's no typo. In fact, it's so bad that I just became a fan on Facebook.  Who knew the girl who didn't know Chicken of the Sea was tuna could produce such a compelling show? On the first episode I saw Jessica, her best friend CeCe, and her hairstylist, Ken met an anorexic former model who brought the mom jeans wearing singer to tears. And Jessica Simpson's not the only one who cried. Then Jessica walked her first ever catwalk and was ordered around by a woman so intimidating that I even slouched down in my couch. Jessica was so nervous and insecure before she walked that suddenly I felt for her- and was compelled to go find John Mayer and kick him where the sun don't shine. So if you're overdue for a Hallmark card moment, tune in to this VH1 show. But I have to warn you, after I take my emotional colored glasses off (please God, let it be soon!) , I could be moving this to the Don't Watch column right next to Cougar Town. Stay tuned.

Watch this

Undercover Boss Even as I type the words, I know you're probably shaking your head in confusion. And in truth, I kind of am too. And before I tuned in, I would've laughed if you'd suggested I even watch it. But after watching a recent episode (A CEO of a family fun park disguised himself and spent the day with several different employees) I was hooked. There was the sidewalk washer who'd lost his home in a flood and also adopted two kids even though he already had three; the formerly homeless single mom who barely made ends meet but said it's about helping people, the pay comes later and the college student who was going to school full-time and working nights. At the end, the CEO reveals himself and then gives the employees raises, etc.. Right around the time he said he'd pay for the college kid's tuition, I was bawling my eyes out. Matt was so confused he didn't know what to do- I hadn't even cried that hard at our wedding. Again, this might be the time to revisit the disclaimer.

Watch this

Parenthood. Two words. Peter. Krause. Need I say more? On the season finale of Six Feet Under was anyone else crying not only because such a fabulous show was over, but because they wouldn't be seeing his hotness for a while? OMG, how I've missed him!  When I heard the positive buzz about Parenthood, I can't believe I didn't realize he was on it. And admittedly, when I tuned into the first episode, I'm not even sure I paid much attention to the storyline or watched anyone other than him. Oh, and Lauren Graham from Gilmore Girls (love her!) But I can say that the show did make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Or, maybe that had more to do with Peter, I don't know... But I say watch it and let me know what you think- of Peter and of the show.



Team Blonde or Team Brunette? By Lisa

fergiebrunette2 I have a girl crush on Fergie. The post-blonde Fergie, that is.

The *brunette* Fergie.

Fergie wasn't even a blip on my girl crush radar when she was blonde (except when I'd see a picture of her in US Weekly, on the arm of her tall drink of man water, Josh Duhamel).

Before I continue, let us take a Josh Duhamel moment. Ahhhhhhhh.

So I suppose I haven't payed much attention to the blonde Fergie because if I'm going to kiss a girl, I'd prefer she be a brunette one.

The "new" and if I may, "improved" Fergie caught my eye on the A.I. finale. As she was dancing and singing with The Black Eyed Peas to "Boom Boom Pow", I began to see her in a new way. What was it? Why was I so drawn to her performance? I mean, the song was catchy, but I was NOT looking at!

Then it hit me.

It was the hair. She was brunette-a-licious! (Sorry, couldn't resist.)

I immediately texted Matt who texted back, "Who?" (Guess he's into blondes :) )

Then I had a radical thought.

Maybe I'd switch teams and dye my hair brown too!

And it wouldn't be the first time...

Ok, so I'm going to lose a little bit of my blonde cred with all my blondie homies out there, but it's time to admit that I did cross over--once.

I dyed my hair brown. And I liked it.

I felt sexier. Edgier. Good different.

Back then, I was pretty daring with my 'dos. I had stripes, (yes, stripes--AT Liz's wedding) I had The Rachel, (which unfortunately looked a lot more like The Carol Brady) and The Gwyneth.  But my personal favorite was The Rocky. I bleached my hair white, cut it as short as Brigitte Nielsen in Rocky IV and spent all my time with a friend with even shorter hair.  Needless to say, most people thought we were a really cute lesbian couple! (Note to self: probably not a good way to meet men! Or women who look like Fergie!)

So, after I "went brown", I felt like "the evil twin", "the bad girl" and "the mysterious stranger" all wrapped up into one!  There was something about the new color that made me feel daring- and gave me 'tude. I went out to clubs! I wore red lipstick! I even bought black leather pants! (Even when I had stripes in my hair, my wildest outfit was  mom jeans and a half-top. So this was big for me!)

And now, more years than I want to admit later...after playing it safe with my long, blonde hair, (with the exception of a few daring moments when I "cut layers"-ooooh!)... I thought I was ready to take another walk on the dark side.

And it was time to tell someone my plan!

In hindsight, I guess it shouldn't have been one of my blonde friends. And this particular blondie *who shall remain nameless * (but you know who you are!!! ), gasped in horror at my idea! (Talk about a buzz kill...)

BLONDE NAMELESS FRIEND: No way! You're a blonde and you will remain true to your *cough* roots!

ME: But...lots of blondes do it. Jessica Simpson. Cameron Diaz. Nicole Richie...

BLONDE NAMELESS FRIEND: And are any of them still brunette?

ME: Point taken. Ugh.

My dreams of channeling my inner Fergie deflated, I went home and looked in the mirror.  Going brown would be fun for a couple of weeks, but the process of getting back to blonde would f***ing suck.  I wasn't going to look as good in black (the only color I own!) and would I really have as much fun? (I'm over 35 now, I can't afford to take chances!)

So in the end, I decided NOT to dye (Special shout out to nameless blonde friend-- I hope you're f***ing happy!)

Because at the end of the day, you can take the blonde out of the girl, but you can't take the girl out of the blonde.