Watch This, Not That By Lisa

We've made no secret about the fact that we love TV. All kinds of TV. From the good to the really, really bad (in a good way) kind. And we've also never had a problem hopping up on our soapboxes and giving our two cents about shows like The Bachelor. So...our love of TV + our love of sharing our opinion= our latest feature, Watch this Not that.

Watch this:

Say Yes to the Dress I'm not sure if it's the fact that my wedding is *gulp* TEN days away or that I'm just strangely obsessed with brides and their entourages as they shop a gown that makes them "look like a princess", but I'm in LOVE.  I. Can't. Stop. Watching.  I've even got my fiance hooked (don't tell him I told you!) and scratching his head as he tries to figure out why so many grooms-to-be have an opinion on what type of dress their fiance should buy. I say a groom who knows what a mermaid dress is= gay.

The Bachelor First of all, I don't know about you, but when I picked up this week's Us Weekly and saw "Vienna's Secret" on the cover, I thought I was going to read that someone finally uncovered a picture of her penis because she IS A MAN. Not that she used to dance topless (bore-ring). When dull Jake was picked as the Bachelor, I thought this season was going to suck ass. But thanks to the women, it's been one mental breakdown after another. (um, Ali, you work in ad sales for Facebook, not in the White House) And now that it's down to the Penis and Tenley, I'm wondering if Jake picks the Penis and then reveals that he's gay. And then he'd suddenly become very interesting. So...I say even though we all want to slit our wrists with the overplaying of "On the Wings of Love" hang in there and keep watching- especially Monday's "The Women Tell All" when crazy pants Michelle, a.k.a. "Um, Jake, I know we just met five seconds ago, but I need you to know that I'm ready to get married and give my mother grandchildren" is baaaack!

Not that:

Grey's Anatomy Okay, so I have a confession. I broke up with Grey's earlier this season. But then Ugly Betty got canceled (how am I going to live without bitchy Mark's one-liners?) and it freed up some space in my DVR and I gave Grey's a second chance. Well, just like you shouldn't take an ex-boyfriend back when he comes a beggin', you should not get sucked back in by a show that's clearly jumped the shark. No need to doubt me on this. The highlights are: Bailey still gives about five speeches an episode that are all some version of I'm angry, single and did I mention angry? The Chief is in rehab and Derek is taking his place (yawn, snore) and little Grey died her hair blonde. Um, yeah, they don't really do medicine on the show anymore.

Dating in the Dark I just read that it got renewed. Now, I'm into the good kind of bad TV as much as the next gal (um, even I got sucked in by Snooki). But  I have to draw the line somewhere. And I'm sorry, but are we really supposed to believe that even though people are tugging on each others love handles and going through their underwear drawers, that they're really basing their decisions solely on their personalities? Sorry, but if you're going to be so shallow, can you at least give me some better lighting while you do it?

xoxo, Lisa

Potty Peril by Liz

ist2_1985576_i_did_it_potty_training_a_boy People that know me well will tell you that I'm not a scaredy cat by nature. That I laugh in the face of danger!  Okay, so maybe I don't laugh at it, but I will snicker at it occasionally.

But I must admit there are a few things that strike fear in my heart.  Things that are so horrible that I get a shiver down my spine just thinking of them.  Things like bad bikini waxes and colon cleanses. Or the thought of Britney and K-Fed getting back together.  Or something else that I experienced this weekend and lived to blog about.

Potty Training.

Okay, so maybe I'm being slightly melodramatic.  After all, my daughter figured it out in three hours flat.  We were shopping at Target and getting our nails painted by 3pm! But this time around, we weren't dealing with a sweet, people-pleasing little girl.  We were dealing with a dick.  Well, um, I mean a penis.  Well, what I really mean is that he has a penis.  And I was tasked this weekend with showing that stubborn little boy what to do with it.

After this experience, I'm shaking my head at the assumption that men are supposed to be the superior gender.  Whoever said that has obviously never potty trained one!  I'm definitely voting for Hilary next time.

And while I'm happy to report that things seem to be going well after an incredibly rocky start,(who knew that they were supposed to sit down on the potty?  Sorry!  I've only seen it done standing up!) I thought I would share some pearls of wisdom that came to me in the past 48 hours.

Liz's Potty Pearls of wisdom

1. Take the time to give proper names to anatomy so that your daughter doesn't keep telling your son to push his "vagina stick" down so he doesn't pee all over the floor.

2. Okay, so the first time he took a dump in his Hulk underwear I thought he just didn't get it.  The second time I questioned my potty game plan.  The third time, I realized he was just f*cking with me.  Typical man!

3. Don't go out drinking the night before, no matter how much fun that harbor cruise sounds. Keeping your gag reflex in check is a lot harder with a hangover. (See number 2.)

4. I know I already mentioned this, but it must be said again: Why doesn't anyone tell you about the whole sitting down thing? And watching him shove his penis down like a bag of weed he's trying to hide?  I'll never be the same again.

5. What?  He's just asked me to leave the bathroom so he could have his "privacy"?  Is this same kid that peed on his bike two hours ago?  I see that like most men, it didn't take him too long to get "cocky". (pun intended.)

xoxo Liz