nick Lachey

The Girlfriend's Guide To Vegas By Liz & Lisa

lasvegassignWe love Las Vegas for so many reasons. And not just because of it's lenient open-container laws and 24-hour buffets.  It's more about that Vegas feeling.  You know, that flutter in your stomach as your cab barrels down the strip, narrowly avoiding pedestrians?  It's the feeling that ANYTHING can happen.  Where else can you dance on the bar at Coyote Ugly, play blackjack with Nick Lachey and take a picture with a "little person" Elvis impersonator all in the same night?  What other city in America would be so tolerant when you throw up in a casino trashcan after your fifth kamikaze shot?  And where else can us thirty-somethings go to reclaim our youth by drinking with abandon and staying up all night? Las Vegas has a little somethin' somethin' for everyone. And not to be cocky, but we consider ourselves to be "Vegas Experts."  I guess that's what happens when you have a fake ID at eighteen and attend a college that's just a three-hour car ride away. Needless to say, we've had the best of times and the worst of times in Sin City.  Just about anything that can happen, has happened to us in Vegas.

And although we are true believers that what happens in Vegas should by all means stay there, we thought we'd provide a few pointers for your next trip.

Liz & Lisa's Girlfriend's Guide To Vegas


1. You and your boyfriend get two different offers for three-ways in the same weekend. And you choose not to focus on the fact that one woman had the body of a prepubescent boy and the other was so hammered she could barely stand.

2. A dashingly handsome British guy named Johnny sits next to you at the blackjack table and tells you that he thinks you’re 25. (And you promise to properly thank your boyfriend later for not correcting him!)

3. You listened to your psychic and confidently bet all your money on the number three. You not only win $1,000 but the entire table is begging you for your roulette recipe for success. You haven’t felt this good since twenty minutes ago when your blackjack table companion thought you were 25 (see #2).

4. The pit boss at Wild Bill’s upgrades your player’s card to “gold status” and offers you a comped night in the “penthouse” suite (on the 4th floor). And even though you’d rather spend the night sleeping on a pool chair at Circus Circus than so much as even stick your big toe inside the free room, you still feel like a “high roller.”

5. You take your pasty white complexion outside when it’s 110 degrees, lounge in the wade pool for hours and thank the Vegas gods when you don’t end up burning like the leathery skinned, There’s Something About Mary look-a-like next to you.

6. Your cab driver tells you that you’re the most entertaining passengers he’s had all night and you’re so caught up in his praise that you don’t mind that he’s missing four teeth and smells like a combination of tequila and pine air freshener!


1. You're starting to feel right at home with all the crazy UFC fans and consider their invitation to cruise up to their suite at Imperial Palace for an impromptu "fight club".

2.  You're shaking like a crackwhore after your tenth Red Bull and Grey Goose.

3. The drink lady at Hard Rock cut you off even after you tipped her $10 a drink. (see number #2)

4. You've smoked ten cigarettes despite the fact that you don't even know how to smoke.  That's probably why you made a rookie mistake and accidentally burned a hole in the shirt of the drunk guy next to you at the blackjack table.

5. You don't blink an eye when you open your hotel room door and discover your neighbor passed out facedown in a hamburger in the hallway.  In fact, you're so hungry that you consider taking a french fry off her plate.

6.  You literally don't have any chips to cash in!  That's when it's time to cash in your figuritive chips and say good bye to dear ol' Vegas. (Unless, of course,  you have a really great cash advance plan on your Visa!)

xoxo, Liz & Lisa

My Sweet Tweet

My name is Liz, and I'm a Tweetaholic. Yes, you heard that right.  I know, I was completely bitter with Twitter a mere three months ago but have recently crossed to the dark side.  I finally understand what that damn Jimmy Fallon was making all the fuss about.

It all started when I went to see my psychic. We were in the middle of dishing all the dirt on my near future when she stopped abruptly.

"Hmmm..." she said, scratching her head. "Something just came to me."

"What!  What is it!" My heart started to pound.  "Am I going to win the lottery?"

"No," she said, looking at me oddly. "What the hell is Twitter?"

"Twitter?" I questioned.  And inside I was thinking, really?  I'm paying $60 an hour and we're going to talk about f*cking tweets?   "It's not important," I said.  "It's just some lame ass social networking site!"

"Really?  Because I'm being told that Twitter will be very important in your journey.  Do you tweet?"

"What! Are you sure my angels aren't referring to Facebook? I like that much better."

"Nope!" she reaffirmed. "Definitely Twitter!"

Damn, Twitter has gotten so big that they even have the afterlife promoting it?  Crazy!  I really need to get the name of their PR agency.

But my psychic has never been wrong before so I went home and dusted off my Tweetdeck.   It was a bit rocky at first, I just couldn't get into my tweet groove.  But after a while, something odd began to happen...I began to...LOVE it!

And for my tweeps who are still hatin', I get it.  At first it seems so...pointless.  I questioned whether my followers really wanted to hear about my Starbucks addiction or my love for Nick Lachey. So I would sit, fingers poised at my keyboard, staring aimlessly at my Tweetdeck.  What interesting nugget could I reveal to my followers that hadn't already been beaten to death on Facebook? And to do it in 140 characters or less? Impossible!

I was suffering from tweet performance anxiety!

But I had big RT(that's retweet for you Twitter virgins) dreams so I let my fingers fly and held my breath as my tweets were heard around the world!(or in at least four mainland states...) I even got a little crazy and participated in Twitter's version of a high five, #Follow Friday.  Our followers were growing by the hour and I became obsessed.  Lisa, who was a once-a-day tweeter at best, had no idea of the love affair Twitter and I were now having.  She would occasionally comment on our spike in followers and I feigned ignorance.  I wanted to keep the tweet love all for myself!

BUT, after one really crazy Follow Friday a few weeks ago, I was outed as the Twitter whore I had become.  Lisa, whose nickname in college was PI Spice, had finally figured out that our followers were not just showing up out of thin air.  So she installed Tweetdeck and my secret tweet life was officially over!  She wanted in on the action too.   And, well, considering the our Twitter handle is Liz and Lisa, I guess I had to oblige.

I could barely go five minutes the next week without a twext(duh, that's a text about Twitter!) from Lisa.

WTF is an RT?

What does # mean?

How do I @ someone and WTF do I say when I do?

Who is Mr. Tweet and why should I give a sh*t about him?

Why are there ten "Horny Kittys" following us?

But after a week of tryin' out her tweets, Lisa was ready for the bigtime. She was ready to tweet live about #Bachelorette!  And let me just say, it's not for amateurs.  Ripe with potential shit talk, you've gotta be sassy to score a RT from this tough crowd.  And to be honest, I wasn't sure if she was up for it.

But lucky for her, there was plenty of dramz to shittweet about on this episode, especially when the Bachelorette went on her one-on-one date with hottie Sascha.

Things seemed to be going well with Sascha and Jillian.  They had hauled ass in a Ferrari and cuddled on the couch with champagne.  It was obvious he thought the rose sitting on the table would be pinned to his lapel by the end of the night.  But after he confessed to her that he had never had his heart broken,(Hello!  commitmentphobe alert!) she sent him on a horrible walk of shame that involved public transportation. It was UGLY!

And before I even I had a chance to add my two cents,  I saw something come across the Tweetdeck that made me LOL.  A real LOL!

#bachelorette You've never had your heart broken, so I'm going to humiliate you and send you off on a bus. ha!

It was RTed almost instantly! Lisa had officially arrived! Welcome Lisa!  This mama bird is happy you finally found your own inner tweet. *wipes a tear of joy from her eye*

Click here to follow Liz and Lisa on Twitter.  Come on, you know you want to!

xoxo Liz

A nod to my iPod by Liz

I've found one of the benefits to getting older is that you start to accept who you are.  You don't apologize anymore for being anal about being on time or obsessed with expensive sunglasses. You just get to the point where you say, Here I am!  Take it or leave it people! So I was surprised to learn something new about myself last week! I discovered that there's a part of my life that I'm still pretty damn sensitive about.   And you'll never guess what it is...

My iPod playlist.

I never realized until recently that many people actually look to the contents of one's iPod to determine their worthiness.  Did I miss something?  Did bad music taste actually makes someone a bad person?  If so, I was screwed.

I never had iPod sensitivity before.  I need music to write and use mine constantly. It wasn't until the day my friend(who considers herself something of a musical expert) hopped in my car and began scrolling through my Top 25 Most Played that I realized that there was yet another parameter on which we could judge one another!

There was silence for a moment as she pondered my playlists.

Then she said hmmmm.

I held my breath and waited for her verdict.  Will she understand that I have no choice with the HSM soundtrack?  That I've been beaten into submission by the marketing team at Disney?

She started laughing.  Loudly. "Um, I don't know how to tell you this, but, you have terrible taste in music!"

I was pissed.  I tried to argue that taste is subjective, who was she to go all Simon Cowell on my downloads?  I never say anything about the fact that she still watches All My Children! (PS, 1988 called, thay want their television viewing habits back.)

But in the end, I knew she was right.  I have the music taste of a 13 year-old girl.  And not even a cool 13 year-old girl.  I'm talking about the nerdy girl who sits by herself at lunch every day and picks her zits.

So it's time to come out of the closet and celebrate my inner teen. And here it is, my Top 10 Most Played. (I didn't want to bore you with all 25, I only play the same 10 over and over again anyway!)

Liz's Top 10 most played

1. Light on by David Cook

I. Love. This. Man.  And I'm leaving my "light on" for him if you get what I'm sayin'.

2. Fly with Me by Kari Kimmel(Tinkerbell soundtrack)

Um.  Okay let me explain.  My "daughter" really likes this song.  I mean, she really, really likes it. And she plays it. A lot. And really loud.  And she may sing along.  I'm sorry but this song makes me *cough* I mean her, very happy!

3. I Can't Hate you Anymore by Nick Lachey

Believe it or not, I wrote the last ten chapters of I'll Have Who She's Having with this on replay.  At least back then I was 4 weeks out after giving birth and completely postpartum.  I have no excuses for liking it now!

4. HOT DOG(aka the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse song) by They Might be Giants

Not for me.  I swear this time.  Although it is pretty catchy after the billionth time you hear it...

5. Over it by Katherine McPhee

Obviously, I have a addiction to former AI contestants.  Yes, David Archuleta, Jordin Sparks and even Clay Aiken have found their way into my iTunes shopping cart.

6. Umbrella by Marie Digby

This is actually one of the cooler selections on the list.  Girls with guitars get me every time!

7.  Gotta Go My Own Way by Gabriella and Troy(HSM2 soundtrack)

Something about Gabriella angst after she hands back Troy's necklace really speaks to me.  Just kidding!  I don't know why I like this song.  But I do.  A lot.

8. Don't Fall in Love With A Dreamer by Kenny Rogers and Kim Carnes

Let's be honest know you have Kenny's greatest hits hidden in the back of your old neoprene cd case too.  And you have to admit this choice is just a tinier bit cooler than Scarlet Fever, right?

9. Soulmate by Natasha Bedingfield

Okay... So this one is respectable. I heard this song on an episode of "The Hills" when LC was bumming about Brody...or that French guy...or that guy that went out with Spencer's sister after her...Whatever!  You get the idea.

10. Someday by Nickelback

OF COURSE I like Nickelback.  Aren't they like the poster children for people with bad music taste?  I even like that lame-ass song they have about being a Rock Star!

Can you top this list?  Tell us what's on your Ipod!

xoxo Liz