Oh Wheat, How I Miss Thee By Lisa

Acupuncture, yoga even Feng Shui. No, I'm not talking about the hobbies of some spiritual yogi , I'm talking about me. I'm not sure exactly how it happened, but I've recently turned into a sage burning, crystal buying, lavender spraying, wheat free eating, universe asking optimist!

I've even *gasp* meditated!

Me. Lisa Steinke, er, Dannenfeldt. She who used to be, well, a lot more intense and would have never thought she could lie still for five seconds, let alone five minutes. But there is one problem I have as I lie on my blue mat, arms outstretched, breathing in and out.  I can't seem to keep my mind from wandering. And no matter how hard I try, one thought keeps creeping in. No, not Josh Duhamel without a shirt on. Or my baffling girl crush on Kara DioGuardi.

I keep thinking about...

WHEAT!

And even with my new "zen-itude", it's hard to remain peaceful and calm and focused on your freakin' breath when you're slowly but surely STARVING TO DEATH on your new gluten and wheat-free diet.

And I can be one angry bee-yotch when I'm hungry.  And there ain't a crystal or a lavender tea on this planet that can save anyone in my path when I haven't eaten. (Sorry, honey!)

Because, P.S., EVERYTHING has wheat in it. Everything.

Which you don't realize until You. Cannot. Have. It.

Want a hamburger? Sor-ry. The bun isn't in compliance.

Craving a sandwich? Oh well. That would require bread.

Want pasta? Too bad. Unless you want RICE spaghetti. YUM-ME!

And don't even get me started on going out to eat. Um, waiter, I'd like the tuna fish sandwich, hold the bread and mayonnaise please. (Yup, it's in mayo too).  Woo, hoo!

So why am I putting myself through this wheat-free hell if it's so, well, hellish? Because I do feel better. And I am starting to find things that I can consume other than fruits and vegetables (if I even look at another banana I might hurt someone). I've discovered wheat-free a.k.a. "rice" tortillas that I make with rice cheese (um, yeah, I don't do dairy either) and black beans (no wheat in those!). Ooh, how exciting! A tortilla-free, cheese free quesadilla!

But did I mention my skin looks great?

Namaste!

xoxo, Lisa

Match me if you Can by Liz

I've always fancied myself a matchmaker. Which is probably why I declared my love for The Millionaire Matchmaker in last week's Watch this, not That and why I am loving Marla Martenson's new memoir DIARY OF A BEVERLY HILLS MATCHMAKER, a hilarious look at her days as a real-life L.A. matchmaker. Want a chance to win your own copy?  Just leave a comment about your own dating experiences and you'll be entered to win! Back in the day,  I'd set singles up with abandon.  In fact, I think I set up one of my guy friends so much that he ended up dating just about every single girl I knew with in a thirty-mile radius. Good for him, bad for my parties. *cue awkward situation*

Truth be told, not one of my matches ever worked out.  My superior sales skills would bring them each to the table, (She's so smart!  He loves his mother!) but it never quite clicked.  Most crashed and burned pretty quickly, with me standing in the middle. And that's the thing- a true matchmaker probably holds the secret how to put two people you care about together without getting involved with the fallout when it fails. Because, let's admit it, most of them do. But when it works out, you get all the glory...

Did I mention that Lisa and her hubby were setup?  They were so happy about it that they even made a special toast to the couple who brought them together at the rehearsal dinner!  And yes, I was secretly jealous.  Because I had also tried my hand at setting her up over the years unsuccessfully.  But considering her matchmaker has at least five marriages under her setup belt, there was no way I could compete.  This woman has a gift. And after fifteen years of trying, I'm willing to publicly admit that I was a sucky setter-upper.

But good or bad, it's always a good story-here are some of my personal faves:

1. Slammed into the back of a hottie driving a BMW on the 405 freeway. (sorry about the bumper!)  Too cute to let him get away but already married, boldly asked him if he was single and gave him Lisa's email address.  Yep, right there on the side of the road. He turned out to be a total douche bag. But still, I think I deserve an A for effort. Right, Lisa?

2. During an impromptu post break-up trip to Las Vegas, pushed Lisa off on a Teva-with-socks wearing Midwesterner at Coyote Ugly in an attempt to make her feel better. Should I even mention the irony when we discovered later that his last name was ROTTEN? Widely considered my rock bottom as matchmaker. Lesson learned: Don't EVUH set someone up while in Vegas. There's a reason what happens in Vegas stays there.

3.One of my BFs said she had a mailman that I just had to meet. I was skeptical but curious.(I had never gone government before!)  But when we accidentally bumped into his hot swing dance partner on our first date, I knew it wasn't a love connection. Let's just say I wish my friend had led with "swing-dancing mailman". It would have saved us all a lot of time.

4. Things were going well with the hot district attorney that my roommate set me up with. Until I made a drunken argument for why, as children, we were allowed to skip but not run on the playground. Because, really, wasn't skipping faster? In my defense, I was one fast-ass skipper in my time.  After that, our case was dismissed.

Tell us your blind date and/or matchmaking story and be entered to win DIARY OF A BEVERLY HILLS MATCHMAKER!

xo, Liz

Feng Shui My Way By Lisa

It's not every day that you hear the words, "You’re going to be single until you get rid of the dead Christmas tree on your balcony!"

It was the Spring of 2007 (I'll get to why I still had my tree in a minute- no judgment please!). The Indianapolis Colts had recently won the Superbowl, The Departed had just snagged the Oscar for best picture and I’d just been dumped. Hard. On. My. Ass.  So, I did what any self-respecting dumpee would do. I called in a professional. No, not that kind. I already had Liz on retainer for all my psychological needs. I called a Feng Shui expert.

When Los Angeles Feng Shui expert Jayme Barrett got to my condo, she looked around, made some notes and gave me several suggestions of what to do to bring new energy and love into my home. Everything was going along swimmingly until she walked out onto my balcony and gasped.  "What. Is. That?" she said, as if she'd stumbled upon a dead body rather than a dead Christmas tree.

"Oh that? I haven't gotten around to dumping it. Work's been really busy," I said nonchalantly.

"It's April!" she exclaimed, her eyes growing wider.

"Um, I know...there was just no way I could get that out of here on my own. I'm five floors up," I stammered, knowing how pathetic I sounded.

"Well my dear, that dead Christmas tree is in the love corner of your home. And you'll never meet a man until you get rid of that."

Cue "oh sh*t" expression on my face.

Faster than you can say match.com, 1-800-Got-Junk was knocking on my door and hauling away everything from that dead tree to dozens of garbage bags full of, well, junk. I cleaned my house from top to bottom, bought new furniture (and a new bed- for obvious reasons!) and Feng Shui'd the shizat out of things just the way my expert had told me to.  I'd never felt better.  And four months later, I met my future husband-proving to all those who had made fun of me that this Feng shui sh*t was no joke!

Cut to this past weekend. Six months after I schmoved, okay, moved to the Midwest. The fabulous wedding was over and I finally decided to unpack and sort through everything I'd carted down Route 66. Consulting my trusty Feng Shui book, Feng Shui Your Life I decided to  de-clutter and clear away any negative energy that might be looming. Matt and I rolled up our sleeves (yes, the man jumped in!) and worked non-stop for two days clearing, hauling, organizing and Good Will-ing just about anything that crossed out path.

But the thing about Feng-Shui-ing is that you have to let go of everything and anything you absolutely do not need, brings you a bad memory, causes you any stress in any way. You have to PURGE.  And I'm not a hanger-on-er at all, but I still had stuff that I looked at and said WTF am I still doing with that? Like my never worn "wide belt" that Matt joked looked like something I'd put on before entering my first WWE wrestling tournament. Or the binder full of articles about the Toyger "designer" cat I came dangerously close to buying. (Long story!)

But my biggest WTF moments came when I sifted through my pictures. There's just something about old photos. I cannot throw them out. And why should I?  Don't I need something to dissuade me the next time I'm thinking about cutting my hair like Ellen DeGeneres and bleaching it blonde? (It was fashion-forward at the time, I swear!)  Or what about when Matt (and I) are trying to cut "unnecessary" expenses from our budget?  Just one glance at my pre-waxed brows will keep my monthly appointment with Tatiana on the list.  So, Feng Shui Land, I may have finally given up my collection of eighties hoop earrings, but you'll never get me to give up the pictures of me wearing them! And, c'mon, you can see why I hang on to old photos like these, right? Give a girl a break. Maybe she just wants to feel a little better about herself now. ;)

xoxo, Lisa

Mommy Monday by Liz

Over the years, I've found myself in A LOT of wedding parties.  I always seem to snag that last bridesmaid spot, edging out a distant cousin or a old friend who just hasn't been pulling their weight the past couple of years. In fact, if my writing career doesn't work out, I've always thought I could rent myself out to desperate brides who are lacking a bulldog bridesmaid.  Because doesn't every bride need a McGyver on their team on their big day? Someone who can perform miracles with a safety pin but who will also do tequila shots and the chicken dance?

When I said "I Do" last Fall when Lisa asked me to be her MOH, I felt slightly panicked.  It had been a while since my last tour of duty and I wondered if I still had it in me.  The last time I had served, I had been three months pregnant with my son and had to have my purple chiffon dress taken out more times than I care to admit and secretly worried I might throw up on my bride if the wrong smell crossed my path.  But on that special day, I put my 24/7 nauseousness aside and bustled like nobody's business.  And as I waved goodbye to them as they sped off in their limo to their honeymoon, I sighed and decided it was time to retire my status as perpetual wedding party member.  Putting all that work in without the free drink payoff just didn't feel the same.

But when Lisa got engaged, I was ready. I'd had four years off and was ready to get back on the wedding party circuit-and the fact that I'd be reporting to a couple that I adored was just a bonus.  And for the most part, Lisa was the most easygoing bride I had ever worked for.  She let me choose my own dress and didn't make me have big ol' prom hair.  In fact, she really didn't make me do much of anything before the big day.  But I think that deep down, we both knew that was because she wanted me to be ready for battle when it counted.  And I was!  That morning, I wrangled guests, acted a photographer and DJ in the bridal suite and even held my tongue when I had my makeup done (She was great-but because of my alligator skin I gave "pancake face" a whole new meaning!).  I had my A game on people!

Until my children showed up.

When Lisa generously asked my three and five-year olds to be in her wedding party, little did I know that having them there might mess up my MOHness.  I was too blinded by visions of them floating down the aisle in their Sunday best, although the reality included, me, bent over, walking down the aisle with them while begging my daughter to throw just ONE damn flower.

So when they showed up in the bridal suite, demanding my attention, I was torn.  I had made a commitment to serve my bride.  How did I merge that with the fact that my daughter was walking around with her gold ballet slippers on the wrong feet and wanted to color on her cream tights? Or the guilt I felt when I whacked my three-year-old's head with my papparazzi camera as I tried to get the money shot of Lisa's toast at the rehearsal dinner the night before?

So when crunch time arrived, I was a bit flustered.  Trying to smile as the photographer snapped pictures of me applying Lisa's lipstick, (What can I say, I'm a full-service MOH!) I prayed that he'd crop out the crying child hanging on to my leg and begging to come play "just one game" of Old Maid. And I'm crossing my fingers that my son was too busy with his hot wheels to notice that I drank half the bottle of "Mommy apple juice".

But at the end of the day, we all had a wonderful time. Thanks to a great friend, the hubs and I were able to party that night with our peeps in peace and sleep in the next morning. (Thanks Patrice!) And even though it was way more stressful to have my little rugrats taking part of Lisa's big day than if they had stayed home, I wouldn't have wanted it any other way.

I'll never forget how it felt to hear my daughter take a deep breath in when she saw Lisa for the first time in her (gorgeous!) dress or the way my son shyly watched her from the doorway as we arranged her veil.  I'm always amazed by how much more work everything is when the kids are involved, but at the same time infinitely more rewarding. As always, the joys of parenting are always in the little things.

xo, Liz

Watch this, not that by Liz

As much as I love my children, I must admit there's one aspect of my pre-mommy life that I miss so much it hurts sometimes...

Sitting on the couch for hours watching bad TV.

These days I'm lucky if I can keep up with Project Runway (forget about that Models of the Runway show) and usually just have the hubs give me his dramatic reenactment of that week's Amazing Race. (Which, btw, he never quite seems to do it justice...)  My Tivo is constantly erasing my fave shows in favor of Hot Wheels, Battle Force 5 and I've had to re-prioritize my priority manager more times than I care to mention.

So, I had to learn the hard way how to become a more discerning TV watcher. And because I know many of us have the same problem, I'm happy to help ya out a bit by cutting through all the bullshit and letting you know to Watch this, not that!

Watch The Good Wife

There's a reason that EW chose The Good Wife as one of the ten best TV shows on right now. I was originally drawn to this show hoping to get my *Mr. Big* fix but ending up staying because of Julianna Marguiles. It's a story about a woman who stands by her man through a political scandal and finds herself entering the work force after staying home for fifteen years raising her two children.  The storyline is so layered, so well acted, that my stomach does a little flip each week when I see that Tivo has recorded it.  And the best part?  It's got enough criminal procedural stuff going on that your hubby won't feel like he's emasculating himself by watching it with you each week!

Watch The Millionaire Matchmaker

With less time to watch TV these days, I think this is the kind of show I miss most.  The Millionaire Matchmaker kindly runs marathons constantly, just begging you to sit your lazy ass on the couch and watch as Matchmaker Patti cuts through any and all BS. She. Is. Genius. From the way she handles the enormous millionaires' egos or catfights with a drag queen, she is fantastic.  Whether she's telling the real estate developer that cuff links are so 1987 and that his haircut channels that guy from Greatest American Hero or she's telling off an NBA player for mistreating one of her girls, she has the balls to say exactly what we're all thinking.  If you only have time for one guilty pleasure on your Tivo, I highly recommend this!

Not Cougar Town

I really wanted to like Cougar Town.  It sounded right up my alley-alums from Scrubs, Friends and Dawson's Creek (don't judge!) and also featuring the ridiculously hot Josh Hopkins.  Not to mention the fact that, at age thirty-six, I'm *gulp* entering cougar territory myself and was hoping to relate to some of Courtney Cox's antics.  While watching the pilot, I told myself that it was just a fluke that it seemed, um, awkward and forced.  But since I was determined to become a Cougar Town fan, I gave it a few weeks to get it together.  But I then returned to discover that they were STILL trying too hard.  And while it may still have a place in my Tivo, (right next to the twelve episodes of Desperate Housewives I can't bring myself to watch) Cougar Town lost it's place in my heart.

Not Tool Academy

Wanna feel better about your own relationship?  Then Tool Academy may be right up your alley.  It's about women(and a few good men) who, in a last ditch effort to save their relationship, bring their bandana-wearing, fake tanning, cheating significant others to the Tool Academy. After spending thirty minutes with Neander-Tool, Looney-Tool and DoubleTalking-Tool, I didn't blame that girlfriend one bit for screaming I'll cut your ass! at the therapy session.  I felt like screaming too.

For those of us who loved bad boys back in the day, this show will make you squirm, remembering what it was like to date a complete DOUCHE BAG and rejoice in the fact that you pulled your head out of your ass before it was too late.  New favorite quote: You can't turn a ho into a housewife~Daniel a.k.a. Glow Stick Tool

What are YOU watching this week?

xoxo, Liz

Writing Wednesday- Query Quandary

Some might say climbing Mt. Everest is an accomplishment. Others might argue that a true victory is winning a gold medal or being awarded an Oscar.

And although we salute all the incredible people who fall into those categories and agree that those would be amazing achievements, we're not athletic or skilled enough to join them in those ranks so we'll settle for believing that writing a query for our manuscript The D Word is one of the toughest challenges we've ever faced. (Liz would like it duly noted that she deserves a close second for giving birth- twice!)

And to celebrate not only finishing our query, but making it through the process alive (more on that below), we're giving away two $20 itunes gift cards (because music helps us write) and six autographed books by authors who've inspired us-Sarah Pekkanen (THE OPPOSITE OF ME) and Kristin Hannah (WINTER GARDEN). Just leave a comment (you know the drill--we're fabulous, you love us, love the blog, blah, blah...) and you'll  be entered to win.

So back to the query quandary...Condensing the plot of our novel into two paragraphs was only half the battle. Agreeing on what the content of those two sections should be was the other. And although we feel we have an incredibly successful writing partnership, that doesn't discount the cold hard fact that we're both Type-A control freaks who always want to be right.

Let us take you back to the day we decided that we'd each independently take a stab at the query and then reveal our work to the other. In Southern California, it was an El-Nino-esque rainstorm that included a hurricane. In the Chicago 'burbs, it was eighteen degrees, gloomy and included a "delightful" present from Mother Nature- Eight. Inches. Of. Snow.

Cut to Lisa holed up in her house, wrapped in an afghan blanket, tears of sadness spilling down her cheeks as she cried for the sun (okay, so maybe that's a wee bit of an embellishment- there was no afghan). She put in her ipod headphones and typed away as she imagined she was in Maui as she listened to Bob Marley belt out Don't Worry, Be Happy (alright, so maybe she was actually listening to Party in the U.S.A.- don't judge!). When she finished, she smiled broadly. "This is damn good," she said to her fountain of prosperity in the corner. It was time to send it to Liz who was going to be so pleased!

Open email form, attach query, add self-congratulatory quip to Liz, send. Wait....

Two thousand miles away, Liz stared out at the pouring rain, part of her ecstatic that she finally had an excuse to wear her new Burberry wellies, the other half of her semi-panicked that, as a result of the hurricane in SEAL BEACH, her daughter's school was on lockdown. As Jordan Sparks sang in her ears, she wrote fast and furiously, taking the time to pat herself on the back along the way because she was still able to crank out such great content on such a miserable day. It was time to send it to Lisa who was going to be so pleased!

Open email form, attach query, add self-congratulatory quip to Lisa, send. Wait...

I'm sure you see where this story is going. Well, it's safe to say that neither of us were as in love with our partner's work as we were with our own! Lisa got up on her soapbox and actually said the words, "How do you not LOVE this?" and Liz retaliated with, "Um, because mine is So. Much. Better!" For an hour we debated everything- including the true definition of divorce. There was even a particularly ugly moment when someone threatened that both queries should be sent to an "unbiased" party who would decide which one should "win". Finally, exhaustion took hold and the right-fighters agreed to sleep on it.

The next day, with much-needed perspective, fresh attitudes and plenty of caffeine all around, we decided to merge our work.  Over the next week, we methodically deleted, rearranged and reworked until we were as close to satisfied as we were ever going to get. Then, we were lucky enough to have brilliant authors including Allison Winn Scotch, Laura Dave and Sarah Pekkanen agree to review our query and give us invaluable feedback. Thank you, ladies! We are forever indebted to you!

And now as we write this blog post, our query for The D Word is complete and sitting in the inbox of our dream agent.  And now we wait. And wait. And wait some more. And it will probably be harder than when Lisa waited by the home phone (literally) to find out if she'd made the junior varsity cheerleading squad (she didn't-and they FORGOT to call-long story!) or when Liz waited at her graduation lunch for her date  to show up (he never did- even longer story!). But many moons and hopefully more maturity later, we're all about positive thinking- affirmations, fountains and the whole nine yards. And because of that, we know find the right agent to rep us. (That is, if we don't kill each other trying to perfect our synopsis-but that's a whole other blog!)

xoxo, Liz & Lisa

The Bride Card By Lisa

Some might say the President of the United States is the most powerful man in the world. Others might argue its celebrities like Madonna, Elton John or Brad Pitt who dominate. I say there’s no doubt those people are all important, but there’s someone with a lot more influence and authority. Someone who red carpets roll out for, champagne constantly appears for and anyone will do anything for.

The bride.

For one day, more important than any other uniform in the world is the white dress and veil. And more exclusive and powerful than even the elusive black American Express is another card. A card you only get to carry for one day. A card that you can milk for access to anyone and anything. A card that gets you a yes to any question you ask. A card that allows you to act however you want and still get whatever you want.

The bride card.

Even my award-winning Matron of Honor, Liz, (more on that in a minute) used it. In fact, I might even argue she became drunk with power as the words bridal suite rolled off her tongue with such ease you’d think she’d lived in the 650 square foot space all of her life. If I so much as blinked or even slightly furrowed my brow, Liz was on the phone faster than you can say bridezilla expertly using some combination of the words, “the bride wants”, “the bride needs” or “the bride is REALLY, REALLY thirsty and will ONLY drink White Star champagne.”

Or even when the bride card wasn’t being used for me, but was not so secretly being used for her (um, like rush ordering a hamburger the night before my wedding because the “bride was hungry”) as far as I’m concerned, she was entitled to use it. She deserved to whip out the card because she blocked and tackled like there was no tomorrow. Forget that dude from The Blind Side, Liz may as well have been 6'7" and 350 pounds of rippling muscle as she watched my back.

Like when she offered to kick the asses of certain people who got a little over excited about the concept of an open bar or when she promised to personally rip the wildly inappropriate ensemble off a certain someone and replace it with something far more acceptable like a burlap sack or when my photographer asked us to “dolphin kiss” (not Matt and me—Liz and me!) for the second time (the first was traumatic enough) and she whispered through her toothless smile, “if he even infers we should hold hands, I’ll shove his camera where the sun don’t shine.”

And all the while, I got to float along behind her with a huge toothy smile on my face- wondering if this was what the Queen of England or a mob boss felt like- having someone else to do their dirty work for them.

I’d like to take a moment to give Liz the Matron of Honor of the Year award and thank her for:

• Wearing four-inch heels during the ceremony even though the highest she ever goes is 1.5.
• Reminding me to keep things in perspective. Most notably when I called her in a heated panic over a mysterious rash that had appeared on my back and she sternly yet softly warned me that I’d better get it together and realize there were people out there with real problems- like in Haiti.
• Telling me it was okay that I cried with joy when I saw and loved myself in my wedding dress.
• And also that it was okay to say out loud that as a producer I thought my wedding was a damn. Good. Show.
• Sticking her entire head under my wedding dress to put on my “something borrowed” garter and smiling bravely as she got more up close and personal than even my Russian bikini waxer, Tatiana, and saw things she should’ve never had to see. In. Her. Entire. Life. (We’re close, but not that close!)
• For doing her bride proud and giving a kick ass, laugh out loud MOH speech. (Hilarious highlights include, but are not limited to, the reminder of the pure bred cat I came dangerously close to ordering in the height of my singledom, the list of former metrosexual boyfriends including the Ryan Seacrest wannabe and the very astute and simultaneously frightening observation that my husband, Matt is practically Liz in a wig.)

Thank you, MOH!!!!

Well, I'm happy to report that my wedding day was the best day of my life. And it's not because I got to play the bride card (okay maybe that was a tiny part of it) but because I have the best friends and family anyone could ask for! And I married the best man I could ever ask for.

Oh, and I wore the best. damn. dress. evuh!

On that note-would it be weird if I arbitrarily decided to wear my wedding dress, say, out to dinner or even to run errands? The thought of packing her away makes me too sad for words and the thought of not being the bride anymore, well, I can't even talk about it!

;)

xoxo,

Lisa

Five Things Liz & Lisa didn't know about...Sarah Pekkanen

We've made no secret about the fact that we LOVE Sarah Pekkanen. Her debut novel, The Opposite of Me, will be published by Washington Square Press, an imprint of Simon & Schuster, next week.  But before it hits bookstores, she's holding a Sarah Spike Day with a big raffle for everyone who pre-orders her book this Wednesday, March 3. So, what's in it for you if you pre-order The Opposite of Me on 3/3?  Here are the raffle prizes:

• A small, sleek HD camcorder from DXG USA’s Pro Gear line for 2010 (www.dxgusa.com). It retails for $300.  We gave them away at our Girls Night Out book signing last summer-they are AWESOME!

• A gift bag containing five hot new Simon & Schuster releases

• Five high-end, cotton t-shirts from Heart Threads Clothing (www.heartthreadsclothing.com). You pick the size, color and secret message printed on the inside of your shirt and worn close to your heart. Five winners!

• A 30-minute phone consultation with Sarah, in which she'll explain, step-by-step, how she got signed by a literary agent and publisher. This will include an editorial critique of your manuscript of up to 40 pages. If you're not interested in writing a novel, you can gift this prize to anyone you choose.

• This last prize is one a character in her book, Lindsey, would especially like:  A $35 gift certificate to MAC cosmetics (Lindsey is a fan of their eyeshadow) and a gorgeous red bustier from Affinitas Intimates. It would probably look best on a woman, but we won't pass judgment if the guys want to win it!

If you want to be entered in Sarah's raffle, here’s what to do:

1) On Wednesday, March 3, order The Opposite of Me online from places including Amazon.com, BarnesandNoble.com or Powells.com. If you buy more than one book, you’ll get more than one chance to win.

2) Email your receipt within 24 hours to this address: sarah@sarahpekkanen.com and make sure to put CONTEST as the subject line.

3) Wait to hear if you are one of the winners!

Now for the even bigger news…#1 New York Times bestseller Jennifer Weiner, author of seven blockbusters including Best Friends Forever and In Her Shoes, which was made into a major motion picture staring Cameron Diaz, is supporting The Opposite of Me by holding an extraordinary giveaway of her own! Please visit Jen’s website for the details of how she is giving a free, autographed copy of one of her books to everyone who orders The Opposite of Me!

Remember, these are separate giveaways. So you can enter Sarah's raffle, or Jen’s giveaway, or both! The possibilities are endless!

If you’d like to read the first chapter of The Opposite of Me, a Redbook magazine book club pick, it’s on Sarah's website, www.sarahpekkanen.com. And trust us, it's as good as everyone is saying it is!

And just when you thought things couldn't get ANY better, we also asked Sarah to share five things we didn't know about her.  And, if it's even possible, we think we love her even more after reading them!  We think you will too.

Five Things Liz and Lisa didn't know about...Sarah Pekkanen!

1. I was rejected as a contestant on Wheel of Fortune, despite the fact that I have a Rain Man-like ability to solve puzzles with no letters showing. I’m still bitter; I really wanted to spin that wheel!

2. I wrote part of The Opposite of Me at Chuck E. Cheese. I’ve got three young boys, so I bring my laptop with me wherever I go and squeeze in snatches of writing time. I’ve got this system down at Chuck E.’s: I keep all the tokens on my table and my kids have to come to me every time they need one. So they’re checking in every couple of minutes, and in the meantime, I’m pecking away on my laptop.

3. The Opposite of Me isn’t even the slightest bit autobiographical. The first thing people ask me when they hear the premise of my book – it’s the story of twin sisters who are complete opposites – is whether I’m a twin. Nope; I don’t even have a sister. But I've always been intrigued by the complex relationships my friends have with their sisters, so I tried to make the relationship of my main characters, Lindsey and Alex, as juicy and competitive and loving and tangled as possible. I've heard about twins who are so close that they create their own language, and can feel each other's pain from miles away - but I wondered what would happen to twins who were completely different. What if two sisters had nothing in common, but were constantly being compared? How would that shape their relationship?

4. I started writing books when I was a kid. A few years ago, my niece discovered an old letter I’d written on Raggedy Ann stationery asking a publisher when my book, titled, “Miscellaneous Tales and Poems” would be published. I carry that letter with me every time I go to New York to meet with my publisher, as a reminder that dreams really do come true. Well, at least some dreams. Brad Pitt has yet to show up on my doorstep wearing nothing but a toolbelt and a knowing smile and asking me if I need anything fixed. So maybe it’s only G-rated dreams that come true.

5. When I'm not writing, I love to run marathons and study Latin and organize the clothes in my closet by color and season. Naw, not really. I watch reality TV and eat too much chocolate and worry if my butt looks fat in my favorite jeans.

To read more about Sarah, head on over to  www.sarahpekkanen.com or become a fan on Facebook.

xoxo, Liz & Lisa

5 Things Liz & Lisa didn't know about...Wendy Wax

March is going to be a great month!  Not only  will we be featuring fantastic authors like Sarah Pekkanen and Jodi Picoult, we'll also be revealing the mystery author we've been hinting about on our Facebook fan page.   But right now we're ecstatic to find out five things we didn't know about...Wendy Wax! We first discovered Wendy  last year when we devoured THE ACCIDENTAL BESTSELLER, a wonderful story about four best friends who discover how little they know about each other. We LOVED it!  Now comes MAGNOLIA WEDNESDAYS.  After she's fired from her job as an investigative reporter, Vivian leaves the big city after her life falls apart to write an anonymous column about suburban life in the South.  But after moving in with her recently widowed sister and her teenaged children, Vivian learns more about herself and the suburban life she mocks in her column than she could have ever imagined.

And we loved learning 5 things we didn't know about Wendy. We smiled at the very cool way Wendy met her husband and loved learning more about her secret chocolate addiction.  And how can you resist anyone that quotes Gone With The Wind?

And, today, we have not one but TWO giveaways.  We have three copies of MAGNOLIA WEDNESDAYS-just leave a comment and you'll be entered to win!

AND...you can also enter for a chance to win a cougar tank top from  CougarsandCo.com by leaving a comment about which twenty-something you secretly pine over. (We have a special place in our cougar hearts for Robert Buckley!)

1.  I met my husband completely by accident the first and only time I ever took the Carey Bus from JFK to Grand Central while visiting New York City. That was twenty-six years ago just after my mother, who thought I’d never fall in love or get married, asked, “What, do you think you’re going to be walking down the street and it’s just going to…happen?”

2.  I’ve read Gone with the Wind way too many times. It’s the reason I originally chose to attend the University of Georgia even though I knew no one there, and why I’m able to recite large portions of dialogue by memory. I fell in love with Clark Gable the first time I saw the movie and have never understood how anyone could choose Ashley Wilkes over Rhett Butler. Ever. Under Any Circumstances.

Whenever possible during an argument with my husband, I try to work in at least one, “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn!”  and have even considered uttering the occasional ‘fiddle-dee-dee!”

Speaking at the Margaret Mitchell House last June when The Accidental Bestseller came out was an incredible thrill.

3. Birthdays in our family always begin with birthday cake (preferably chocolate) for breakfast. This began in my single days when a roommate and I started the tradition. It feels wonderfully decadent and allows you to get to the best part of the day first thing. I’m not all that into delayed gratification, which sometimes makes writing a four hundred page manuscript, well, difficult.

4.  I hosted a live radio show in Tampa, Florida called, Desperate & Dateless, back when I was both. Every Friday from 8:00PM to Midnight I would take calls from men and women and match them up on the air.

One couple called into the show from their honeymoon to thank me. It was great to hear from them, but I thought they should have had better things to do!

5.  I am a chocoholic. There, I’ve said it out loud. I’ve been this way since birth (I think it’s genetic) and crave it pretty much all the time. (Even at breakfast on my birthday—see #3 above) When I was pregnant with my sons, I considered it the fifth food group. A day without chocolate is, well, I don’t even want to go there!

To read more about the fabulous Wendy Wax, head on over to her website or become a fan on Facebook.

xoxo, Liz & Lisa

Mommy Monday-To schedule or not to schedule...

Happy Monday y'all! To celebrate Mommy Monday, we're giving away two copies of KEEP YOUR SKIRT ON by Starshine Roshell. It's a smart, sassy collection of her kicky columns with legs for GenX Moms everywhere that will have you LOLing.  Just leave a comment to enter!

Considering the fact that I had to squeeze time in to write this post in between softball games, swimming lessons and soccer signups, I'd thought that today we'd discuss why the hell we overschedule our children(and ourselves) to death.

Now, before we go any further, let me just say that I'm a huge part of the problem. I find myself in a constant frenzy, not only trying to figure out when and where to sign up for all this shit, but how to find time to get them there. (Btw, Coach Steve, 1:30pm weekday practices are NOT convenient. Doesn't anyone have a J-O-B around here?)

I'm almost embarrassed to admit to the meltdown I had two weeks ago when my daughter's softball league was up in the air due to a lack of sign-ups.  I literally thought to myself, Great! She'll NEVER make it in softball now. I envisioned her blaming me for years to come whenever the subject came up.  That I was sentencing her to a lifetime of inadequacy on the softball field.   Oh, did I mention that she's barely FIVE YEARS OLD?

And it doesn't help that sometimes our well-meaning Mom friends make us feel as if we just stepped up on stage to pick up the Lamest Parent of the Year award.

Geez.  That's too bad.  Because you really should have her out on the field by five.

That's okay.  She can still play for fun!

And you missed AYSO signups too? (insert silent judgement here)

It seems that often we are so obsessed about giving our child every advantage, or to righting every percieved wrong from our childhood, that it can be pretty damn easy to lose perspective.  I'm sure I'm not the only mom who's stomach churns when she realized that her friend's children are swimming like Michael Phelps while her little rugrats are still hanging on to their floaties for dear life.  Or when she saw the adorable photos of her niece's dance recital on Facebook and second guessed her decision to sign her little princess up for soccer instead, secretly wondering if she's doomed her to tomboy status her entire childhood.

And just for the record, I don't know what the answers are. I'm down here with you in the trenches, trying to figure out how to find the balance between active and overscheduled kids. I'm just saying that the next time your Mommy friend calls you up in a panic that little Johnny is never going to make it in the big leagues because she missed his tee-ball sign ups, just remind her gently that she's losing her damn mind.  And then help her put things in perspective. She'll love you for it, I promise.

xoxo, Liz

Watch This, Not That By Lisa

We've made no secret about the fact that we love TV. All kinds of TV. From the good to the really, really bad (in a good way) kind. And we've also never had a problem hopping up on our soapboxes and giving our two cents about shows like The Bachelor. So...our love of TV + our love of sharing our opinion= our latest feature, Watch this Not that.

Watch this:

Say Yes to the Dress I'm not sure if it's the fact that my wedding is *gulp* TEN days away or that I'm just strangely obsessed with brides and their entourages as they shop a gown that makes them "look like a princess", but I'm in LOVE.  I. Can't. Stop. Watching.  I've even got my fiance hooked (don't tell him I told you!) and scratching his head as he tries to figure out why so many grooms-to-be have an opinion on what type of dress their fiance should buy. I say a groom who knows what a mermaid dress is= gay.

The Bachelor First of all, I don't know about you, but when I picked up this week's Us Weekly and saw "Vienna's Secret" on the cover, I thought I was going to read that someone finally uncovered a picture of her penis because she IS A MAN. Not that she used to dance topless (bore-ring). When dull Jake was picked as the Bachelor, I thought this season was going to suck ass. But thanks to the women, it's been one mental breakdown after another. (um, Ali, you work in ad sales for Facebook, not in the White House) And now that it's down to the Penis and Tenley, I'm wondering if Jake picks the Penis and then reveals that he's gay. And then he'd suddenly become very interesting. So...I say even though we all want to slit our wrists with the overplaying of "On the Wings of Love" hang in there and keep watching- especially Monday's "The Women Tell All" when crazy pants Michelle, a.k.a. "Um, Jake, I know we just met five seconds ago, but I need you to know that I'm ready to get married and give my mother grandchildren" is baaaack!

Not that:

Grey's Anatomy Okay, so I have a confession. I broke up with Grey's earlier this season. But then Ugly Betty got canceled (how am I going to live without bitchy Mark's one-liners?) and it freed up some space in my DVR and I gave Grey's a second chance. Well, just like you shouldn't take an ex-boyfriend back when he comes a beggin', you should not get sucked back in by a show that's clearly jumped the shark. No need to doubt me on this. The highlights are: Bailey still gives about five speeches an episode that are all some version of I'm angry, single and did I mention angry? The Chief is in rehab and Derek is taking his place (yawn, snore) and little Grey died her hair blonde. Um, yeah, they don't really do medicine on the show anymore.

Dating in the Dark I just read that it got renewed. Now, I'm into the good kind of bad TV as much as the next gal (um, even I got sucked in by Snooki). But  I have to draw the line somewhere. And I'm sorry, but are we really supposed to believe that even though people are tugging on each others love handles and going through their underwear drawers, that they're really basing their decisions solely on their personalities? Sorry, but if you're going to be so shallow, can you at least give me some better lighting while you do it?

xoxo, Lisa

5k, 5k go away, come back another day.

Truth be told, I've never been much of a "runner".  While my friends were off running track in high school, I could usually be found up on the tennis court flirting with boys in my short skirt and favorite orange and green Nikes.  Even when it came to exercise, I demanded that there be some sort of social component. But part of me has always envied those joggers as I sat at the stoplight, sipping my Starbucks, watching them run in place while impatiently waiting to cross the intersection.  And each time we would cheer on my brother-in-law in his latest marathon, part of me would think, I could do this!  Even though I get winded after walking up three flights up stairs, I COULD complete 26.2 miles without any body parts breaking and/or falling off. And because I also tend to be a bit lazy, I also thought, And you know what? I probably wouldn't even have to train that much!

So when my Brother-in-law announced his intention to run the  Surf City half marathon, I jumped at the chance to do the 5k.  I mean, everyone's got to start somewhere, right?  I formulated my training plan, bought that thing that holds your iPod on your arm and the only flattering pair of runners shorts this side of the Mississippi. I even purchased a choke chain so my unsociable German Shepard could train at my side without traumatizing every cat and small dog in the neighborhood.  I. Was. Ready.

But then something strange happened.  It began to RAIN in Southern California.  And for those of you familiar with the weather patterns out here, you know how rare it is to get more than a few inches per year, let alone a few inches per storm.  And by the time it finally stopped, my 5k training schedule, much like that show, Conveyor Belt of Love, was just a distant memory.

So, on race day, I decided to do what I do best-fake my way through it.  I pushed away the memory of getting winded walking to the registration tent the day before and did my best impersonation of someone who knew how to stretch their muscles by lifting my leg repeatedly.  And with my iPod firmly secured on my arm and bib fastened on my shirt, I was pretty damn sure that no one knew my secret. That I was going to FAIL MISERABLY.

Well, except for my husband.  I didn't miss the small smirk on his face as we ran in place waiting for the race to start.  After all, I was the one who dragged him over to the "Twelve minute Mile and WALKERS"  section.  And at the time, I mistakenly thought they were referring to people WITH walkers, not people walking.

Although I literally did not jog ONE STEP before the day of the race, I did finish, thanks to my plan to WOG. (walk and jog, emphasis on WALK.)  And while I will admit to *thinking* about taking the kids 1 mile U turn because my lungs felt as if they would collapse, I didn't do it. Even though my end time was a completely shiteous 38 minutes, a part of me was really proud of myself.  Because as I heaved and gasped did that arm thing that people on  The Biggest Loser do when they're forced to run a mile on the first show, I knew that all my humiliation would provide excellent blog material!

YOU KNOW IT'S TIME TO HANG UP YOUR RACING BIB WHEN:

1. An overweight guy wearing jorts and Converse passes you like you're standing still.

2. When you stop all conversation around you by shouting that your going to "kick all the people with walkers asses" at the start line. (Note to self: take headphones off before speaking!)

3.  When Adam Lambert and Lady Gaga just aren't providing the inspiration you've hoped they would.

4. When you realize that if you double the time it took you to run the 5k, it almost equals your brother-in-laws's HALF-MARATHON finish time.

5.  When you dramatically tell your husband to "save himself" at the two mile marker when you realize a nine-year old just lapped you.

6. When you are unable to bend your legs for THREE DAYS after completing a 3.2 mile wog.

See you in April at the Seach Beach 5k!  Hopefully this time I'll actually break in my running shoes before hitting the course!

xo, Liz

Writing Wednesdays By Lisa

Happy Hump Day! We’re excited to be debuting our feature, Writing Wednesdays where we’ll, well, write about writing. On Wednesdays.

And to celebrate, we're giving away five HeartThreads t-shirts with messages about love, wisdom, faith and inspiration worn close to the heart! Get it? Just leave a comment on this post (like how much you love us and our writing! *wink* *wink* ) and be entered to win.

So, back to Writing Wednesdays. As much as we LOVE to bag on The Bachelor and spout off about our relationships here at CLIND, "wax poetic" about books for Barnes and Noble and She Knows and make quips about parenting for Real Moms Guide, writing books is our #1 passion.

As many of you know, we’re in the homestretch of completing The D Word, our dual narrative novel about two women who walked away from their relationships because they thought they wanted more. But when more turns out to be the complicated world of divorce, they begin to second-guess everything.

And as we prepare to plunge head first into the pool with all of the other hungry writers hoping to find the perfect agent and publisher for his/her book, we hope you’ll follow along with us as we reveal the good, the bad and undoubtedly, very ugly parts of our literary journey.

We’re proud to report that so far, it’s been mostly good with just a tiny bit bad and one part fugly mixed in!

104,000 words

6 months

3 days at a “writing retreat” in Palm Springs (shout out to our cabana boys!)

2 plot changes

1 virtual door slam=

Our nearly completed manuscript.

We’re almost there. So close. We can smell the paper of the final draft as it’s coming off the printer. We can see the manuscript being sent to prospective agents that have requested a partial or *crossing fingers* a full! But it’s just out of reach because we’re still in the editing process. A place we could live for the rest of our lives if we’re, or should I say “I’m”, not careful.

Which brings me back to the virtual door slam. Which I can say I deserved. Liz was fed up with my editing tactics and basically hung up on me over email. If I was my own writing partner, I would’ve done the same. Because there comes a time when you just have to let go and accept that you’re officially done tweaking your ms. Or you run the risk of ending up like my eyebrows did after I finally discovered tweezers- with not much left. And without getting into all the “gory” details of  the angry email Liz wrote to me, I can tell you it was something along the lines of: You. Have. To. Freakin’. Stop. Now. (Okay, so maybe she used a different variation of freakin’-one that rhymes with plucking.)

But it’s just so hard. I’m like a crack addict trying not to hit the pipe. Like the woman on a diet who swears she won’t break into the leftover Halloween candy. Like the shopaholic who convinces herself that “online” shopping isn’t as bad. I go into the ms with the intention of only looking for missing words or punctuation errors. But then I notice a sentence that maybe if I worded it just a little differently, could be even better. And before I know it, I’ve re-written two paragraphs! And Liz is using variations of freakin’ all over again.

So I’ve now made an official promise to Liz that I’m letting go. This week, we’re doing our final read through and unless there’s an entire chapter missing, I’m really not allowed to touch it. And this is why it’s good to have a writing partner. You can balance each other out. Her weaknesses (remembering not to write emails before caffeine) are often my strengths (remembering not to read her emails before 10:30 a.m. CST) and vice versa.

Wish us luck reaching our editing deadline in one piece! Although I’m assuming that if we haven’t killed each other so far (and believe me, there have been opportunities that could have sent even Gandhi down the violent path), we’re really in no serious danger of a death by Chick Lit manuscript anytime soon.

xoxo, Lisa

Mommy Monday! Battle of the Sexes-Parent Edition

Welcome to CLIND's first ever MOMMY MONDAY! And to celebrate, we're giving away three copies of Kristin Hannah's latest release, WINTER GARDEN, a story about mothers and daughters.  Just leave a comment to enter! Today, I'm going to be bitching discussing how gender roles come into play when parenting.  Or in simpler terms, Why Daddy always gets to be the good guy.

I've always known that my husband was higher up on the fun-o-meter than me.  His willingness to act as a human submarine in the pool and ability to hold the children on his shoulders for hours were constant reminders.  And for the most part, I've always kind of accepted the fact that, well, the kids seem to like him better than me.

I've learned the hard way that cooking their food, purchasing their clothes and, oh, what was the other thing?  Oh yeah, GIVING BIRTH TO THEM just didn't hold the same weight as playing Chutes and Ladders twenty times in a row. Or that I didn't go on the pool slide as much as Daddy while vacationing in Maui.  Hmm, is this where I bring up that we WOULDN'T be on vacation if it weren't for Mommy?  Should I mention the hours Mommy spent scouring the internet for those legendary yet impossible to find internet travel bargains? (Well, I *might*  have squeezed in a little Facebook time too. But you see my point.)

Not that I don't spend quality time with the kids-I do.  In fact, nothing makes me happier than taking them to the Farmers market or reading their favorite books at bedtime.  But I'm never going to build structurally sound tent cities or Lincoln log houses the way my hubby does.  Just in the same way that he can barely operate the microwave and starts sweating the minute he's tasked to purchase items unsupervised at the store. (He learned the hard way why you don't purchase the fruit with the "manager's special" sticker on them!)

Don't get me wrong -I'm incredibly thankful that my husband is a wonderful father. I just wish we could share the glory from all of our hard work. Now I know how the Vice President must feel. Or that guy that only got to host American Idol the first year. Or the people who actually sang those Milli Vanilli songs.

So the next time my daughter tells me that I'm not fun like Daddy because I won't play Memory a third time, (Which, btw, is more due to an actual lack of memory than playfulness...) I'll show her this.  I like to call it my Mommies needs love too list.

• I'm so happy that you and Daddy had fun playing superheroes all morning. It's too bad that Mommy's the one that needs to be burning  calories.  But the only running Mommy seems to do these days is into Starbucks when she's late for work.

• I understand that you love playing  tee ball with Daddy in the backyard, but does he let you stir the cupcake batter or let you roll the homemade pizza dough like Mommy?  On second thought, Does Daddy even know how to turn on the oven?

• Yes, it's so fun to play with Daddy in the pool for hours. But isn't it nice to have a Mommy doesn't look like a HOT MESS with her air-dried hair? And on that note, Did you see Mommy's belly button last time she wore a bikini? Not. Right. At. All. Mommy loves you so much that she was willing to give up ever feeling comfortable in a bathing suit ever again.

• Thank you so much for reminding me that Daddy is PERFECT when I put you to bed last night. I'll try to keep that in mind the next time we receive a "special gift" for being such loyal customers to Sportsbook.com.

xoxo, Liz

5 Things Liz & Lisa didn't know about... Kristin Hannah

How lucky are we?  First we kicked off February with our new look (woo hoo!).  And now, we're excited to discover 5 Things we didn't know about NYT bestselling author Kristin Hannah! Although lawyer turned writer Hannah has written a staggering EIGHTEEN novels, we just happened upon her work last year when Liz picked up a copy of FIREFLY LANE.  Blown away by the story of the journey of two lifelong friends, (sound like anyone you know?)  she broke her long standing rule to not read books that make her cry. FIREFLY LANE was so engaging that she couldn't help herself-she was bawling like a baby by page 150. (Damn you Kristin Hannah!)

Hannah's latest novel, WINTER GARDEN, focuses on Meredith and Nina Whitson, two adult sisters who were denied any real affection from their icy European mother while growing up. After their beloved father's death and mother's illness, they attempt to discover the truth about their mother's past through the Russian fairy tales she told them as children. (Click here for a sneak peek!) WINTER GARDEN is in bookstores TODAY and you can buy your copy here.

We LOVED learning more about the lovely Kristin.  Like us, she's addicted to The Biggest Loser and loves The Food Network.  But we were surprised to discover that she, well, how do we say this? SHE WRITES HER NOVELS ON A LEGAL PAD. WITH A PEN. You'll  have to read on to discover why...

Five things Liz & Lisa didn’t know about Kristin Hannah...

1. I'm a Food Network junkie.  I’ll admit it: I love everything about food.  I spend hours watching programs on the food network, as well as pouring over the recipes on their website.  Several times a week, I quit work early and make a recipe that challenges me.  Sometimes they work out beautifully, and sometimes, not so much, but I always enjoy the process.  While I was writing Winter Garden, I focused on Russian food for the first time, and I have to say it was delicious.  I wouldn’t be surprised if readers found that the book made them hungry!

2. The Biggest Loser inspired me to take up spinning.  I know I’m not alone in watching the Biggest Loser.  Honestly, I find the show inspiring, week after week.  Well, after years of watching the contestants sweat on their spinning bikes, I finally decided to give it a try myself.  I was really nervous about it.  The first time I walked into the gym’s “spinning room,” I moved pretty slowly.  I was afraid I’d fall off the bike or sweat so hard, I wouldn’t be able see.  And it was hard; I won’t lie to you.  But when the speakers blared out with Heartbreaker, I was in heaven.  I love it!

3. I write my novels longhand.  I know it seems impossible in these computer-driven days, but I’m an old school girl.  Years ago, I used a computer, but I simply found that my body couldn’t handle sitting in a chair for the hours required to write an entire novel.  Now, I write on yellow legal pads, and I can write anywhere.  On the beach, on my deck, on a boat.  Anywhere.  How great is that?

4. If I wasn't a writer, I'd want to be a Supreme Court Justice. Why not dream big, I say?  Obviously, there’s nothing I’d rather be than a writer.  I absolutely adore my chosen profession.  In fact, it’s almost an obsession.  But if, for some reason, I had to do something else, I’d love to sit on the Big Bench.  I adore the entire idea of searching for justice, untangling facts, and determining how our laws should be written to best protect us and preserve our rights.  Although I’m an attorney, I have rarely gone there in my fiction.  True Colors is the one real exception.  I was spurred to write that novel by a perceived injustice in the current legal system.

5. I'm funny.  Really. I’m still not entirely sure how I became known as a writer of tearjerkers.  I never  set out to write “sad” novels.  Rather, I intend to write emotional fiction with real-to-life characters who face intensely difficult situations; that goal often takes me into dark and complex landscapes, and thus…the sadness.  But I also try to have uplifting, life affirming endings.  Occasionally that kind of ending doesn’t fit the novel, but I try to end my books in a way that makes the reader smile.  Even if she's blinking back tears at the same time.

To read more about the fabulous and talented Kristin Hannah, head on over to her website.

xoxo, Liz & Lisa

Extreme Makeover: Chick Lit Is Not Dead Edition

We are SO excited to be celebrating our ONE YEAR anniversary here at Chick Lit is not Dead.

*clinks champagne glasses together*

It seems like just yesterday that Liz was writing about the State Of The Union and Lisa was proclaiming her Facebook Whoreness to the world. From Xoxo to Potty Peril to Should You Friend Your Ex on Facebook?, we're so thankful that you've been with us for every blog post along the way. THANK YOU!

And what better way to celebrate than to give ourselves a complete MAKEOVER?  A little nip here, a tuck there and CLIND feels like a whole new site!

Huge props to the very talented Betsy Cohen at Positive Element and Debbie Friedrich at Debbie Friedrich Photography for helping us get ready for our close-up. (Be sure to click through all our pages to see her beautiful photos!) And, as always, we are indebted to the fabulous and talented Crystal Patriarche at BookSparksPR, the best publicist we could ever ask for!

And it's not just our look that's changed.  This year, we'll be stepping up our game, not only by bringing you more interviews with Bestselling Authors, but we also hope to keep you laughing with new features. Like...

Mommy Mondays Writing about the trials and tribulations of parenting, Liz will do her best impersonation of a Mommy blogger. (Don't worry, she'll do her best to avoid any and all "poopy" references.)

Writing Wednesdays Come with us on our journey to finding an agent and publisher for our second novel. We'll simultaneously overload you with our borderline obsession with affirmations and the power of positive thinking (It. Will. Happen. It. Will. Happen. It. Will. Happen.)

Watch this, not that We'll be sure to let you know what's worth Tivoing that week. (For example: we'll watch 650 pound Virgin so you don't have to!)

But don't worry, we'll still have plenty of time to do what we do best-make lists about ANYTHING and EVERYTHING.

And to celebrate, we're giving away a BLACKBERRY PEARL flip phone.  All you have to do is leave a comment letting us know what you think of our new look and you could be a winner. No pressure, but you better LOVE. IT! And if you want to post a link to let your Facebook friends or tweeps know about our new look, we'd be eternally grateful! =)

Thank you again for all of your love and support this past year.  We're having a blast and we hope you are too!

xoxo,

Liz & Lisa

Bachelor, I can't quit you by Liz

The girl who preferred  the cameraman. That crazy bitch from Anaheim.

The hawt non-kissing nanny.

Bachelor, I can't quit you.

Since that faithful day back in March of 2002, The Bachelor had me at Will you accept this rose? Feminism be damned, I ate up every moment of this newest reality trainwreck.  And when Trista burst onto the scene in all her post-cheerleading glory, I was cheering at my TV screen as she and  sensitive firefighter Ryan (Does anyone else remember those pictures he used to draw for her?) tied the knot while dozens of helicopters circled their ceremony. And I think I might have been the only one that watched that lame ass special about their (incredibly boring!) bachelor and bachelorette parties.

I drooled over winemaker Andrew Firestone (still my all-time fave!)  and chuckled with funny guy turned kissing bandit Bob Guiney. I crossed my fingers that older bachelor Byron would choose one of the Cougars rather than one of the twenty-somethings brought in to create drama and even held my breath as  super boring Bachelorette Meredith gave her final rose to Ian. I was officially a Bachelor junkie.

However, my interest started to dwindle around season seven.  I wasn't quite sure if it was due to the recent birth of my first child or Charlie O'Connell's overall lameness. But either way, I fell off the wagon for a few years, leaving diehard fans like Lisa to fend for themselves on Mondays nights. (Sorry about that!)  I just couldn't sign off on that fake prince, the football player or the guy with the accent.  To my husband's delight, I declared I was done with The Bachelor forever.

But then came single dad and complete DOUCHEBAG Jason Mesnick.  I was drawn in all over again, fascinated why an attractive man with a young child would choose such a path to meet their soulmate. How in the world his ex could have ever signed off on such a thing. I was so pissed that I even put it on my official "If I Go-Go this is a No-No" list. But even in all my righteousness, I recognized damn good TV when I saw it.  And I think we can all agree that, for once, Chris Harrison wasn't exaggerating when he stated that it was going to be THE MOST DRAMATIC AFTER THE FINAL ROSE CEREMONY EVER.

So I was back. The next season, I found myself screaming at my TV every time Jillian gave hot two-timing asshole Wes a rose and stifling a giggle as Jake cried over the balcony in his high-waisted pants. It was too good not to blog about.

I'll be honest- I wasn't thrilled when I heard that the producers had chosen Jake, the previously mentioned high-waisted pants wearing crybaby.  I had been hoping for Reid, who I had harbored a secret crush on the previous season. So I was pleasantly surprised as Jake was introduced to all the new girls moving into what I like to now call "Crazytown".

But what surprised me the most wasn't the fact that they cast someone like Michelle from Anaheim, who seems clearly unbalanced, but that Jake wasn't the complete snoozefest I'd thought he'd be. It was what kept me coming back for more, despite that RIDICULOUS amount of flying puns during the first cocktail party.  And must we even bring up the "On the Wings of Love" flying montage? *Gag*

Despite that, he earned my respect (the term "respect" being used loosely here) by kicking that nut Michelle to the curb immediately after she demanded to kiss him and then deemed it unworthy when no tongue was involved. And I couldn't have been happier than when he called that Mary Poppins wannabe Elizabeth out on her cock-teasing and then sent her packing.

And as I anxiously await the knowledge of which two women will be shamed when their precious roses are thrown in the fire and to witness the next Ali/Vienna catfight, I realize that I've reached an all-new low in my reality TV watching. (Well, unless you count that Jersey Shore marathon when I was sick.)   But I don't care.  I'm proud to say you'll find me sitting in front of my television each Monday at 8pm.  You know you want to join me!

xoxo, Liz

5 Things Liz & Lisa didn't know about Irene Zutell

So far, 2010 is starting off to be pretty damn fabulous! We're almost done editing our second book and are also getting ready to celebrate CLIND'S one year anniversary with a complete website makeover. (Get Tim Gunn on the phone STAT!) But before we roll out our fabu new look, we wanted to take a minute to learn five new things about author Irene Zutell and her latest book, PIECES OF HAPPILY EVER AFTER.  It's a sweet and sassy novel about what happens when your happily ever after doesn't turn out quite the way you thought it would.  We really enjoyed this heartwarming story about Alice's journey to find herself again after her husband strays. And we're not the only ones who thought it was awesome.  Sheknows.com just announced PIECES OF HAPPILY EVER AFTER as their first book club pick. You can also pick up a copy at your local Target beginning February 1st! Click here to check out the book trailer.

And we're giving away THREE copies!  Just leave a comment to enter!

5 Things Liz & Lisa didn't know about Irene Zutell

1. I'm a former celebrity journalist for People Magazine and US Weekly who has interviewed the likes of Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt and Jessica Simpson.

2. I'm no stranger to scandal! My neighbor - Vera Moder - was married to Danny Moder (as in Mr. Julia Roberts!) up until he left his wife for the movie star. My latest novel, Pieces of Happily Ever After, is based on this scandal - a woman, Alice, finds herself picking up the pieces after her husband leaves her for Hollywood's Sexiest Woman Alive. Enter in a sexy papparzzo, a former high school flame, an aging mother and a super sweet 5 year old daughter, and it's the tale of what happens after Happily Ever After.

3. I'm a native New Yorker who moved to L.A. - to the San Fernando Valley - which just happens to be the porn capital of the world! Made for some funny side stories in my new book.

4. The aging mother in the book is based off of my real mother-in-law who battled Alzheimer's. You can read my essay on this story: A Love Story by Irene Zutell.

5. My editors didn't think the dialogue of 5 year old Olivia in the book was realistic -but I took many of the words right out of my own daughter's mouth!

To read more about the lovely Irene Zutell, head on over to her website or click here to follow her on Twitter.

xoxo, Liz & Lisa

Manage your money with a little sass By Liz and Lisa

We'll be the first to tell you that we're not exactly the best at watching our wallets. (shh..don't tell our hubbies we just admitted that!) In our defense, it's just really, really hard to resist those cute ankle boots or even that sassy dress that demands to have a spot in our closet next to all the other sassy dresses. So when we discovered LIVE IT, LOVE IT, EARN IT: A Woman's Guide to Financial Freedom by Marianna Olszewski--a smart, flirty and fun book (that yes, we found while shopping) that gives great money tips, we devoured it. First, points for its faboo cover-- a sassy girl wearing a pencil skirt! (As Chick Lit lovers, we heart cute covers!) We also love her interviews with amazing female designers--Tory Burch, Tamara Mellon (hello... Jimmy Choos!) and Diane Von Furstenberg! And, the book is FUN-it covers everything from cleaning out your underwear drawer (when was the last time any of us did that?) to keeping a gratitude journal. (we should all be doing that!)

Live it, Love it, Earn it is a great read for anyone whose eyes normally glaze over at the thought of even cracking open a book about money and finance (BOR-ING!) So, check this one out! You'll be happy you did. Plus, you can feel better about doing something to improve yourself in 2010. (you know those resolutions we all made,  um, just two weeks ago?!)

Click here to follow Marianna on Twitter!

xoxo

Crisis of Geography By Lisa

Throughout the years, Liz and I have had our share of crises. First there was our identity crisis.  (Ask Liz about her meltdown in college when everyone called BOTH OF US Lisa.)

Then there was our quarterlife crisis. (Don't EVUH buy one of those close-up lighted vanity mirrors after age 35. Trust me on this one ladies.)

And now, I'm in the middle of  a geography crisis. A major one.

I can't decide where I live. Chicago, IL or Long Beach, CA?

Seems like a no-brainer, right? Well....

As many of you know, about six months ago I "shmoved" to Chicago be with my soon-to-be fiance.  I chose to use the word "shmove" over "move" because it was, well, less "I no longer live in California" sounding. After all, I still had a car and my furnished condo in Long Beach , my driver's license still said Cali and, c'mon, could I ever really be a Midwestern girl?

Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against Midwestern people. In fact, they're nicer than most. But, when you technically have two residences, you can pick and choose where you want to live based on who's asking.  And most of the time, you're going to say California mostly in order to avoid the weird, squinty look people give you when they try to process why on God's green Earth you'd ever choose to go from the West to the Midwest. So, I'm not really lying when I say Long Beach... even though all my Hanky Pankys are in Illinois and my Long Beach condo has now been rented.

Right?

But since it's a New Year and I'm about to marry the man I've been shmiving with for the past six months, it's probably time to make a few confessions:

1. I confess: I'm still using a California driver's license. Okay, so here's the deal. I went into the DMV and I was ready to bite the bullet, I swear. Well, that is until I started sweating through my "I love California" t-shirt. As I looked around at the long line of wool coat and scarf wearing people, I knew that if I went through with my application for a driver's license that I'd officially be an Illinois resident. Which meant...

I could no longer hand my California ID to the lady at Target and have her "ooh and ahh" over the great, warm life I must have back there.

I could no longer get comments from the cute boys behind the counter at Cubs games when they saw my ID. I'd officially be a Midwesterner.

So, I turned on my North Face snow boot heel and walked out of there faster than you could say Go Cubs!

2.  I confess: I still watch TV on West Coast time! I still watch the Bachelor at the time my West Coast friends do. Half the fun of watching shows like these is the sideline banter I have with Liz during the show.  And now, even though I have to wait TWO FULL HOURS  so we can write on each other's walls about the 24 year old with fake ta-tas who's only known Jake for 11 seconds but is ready to marry him and have his babies, it's worth it.

3. I confess: I'm f***ing freezing my ever-expanding ass off! In order to keep my Midwestern cred with my new Midwestern friends, I LIE about how the cold is affecting me. I tell them that this Cali girl is A-okay and that the cold isn't anything a North Face coat and a good pair of gloves can't handle! But the truth is, I'm freezing my ass off! It's not like I haven't been around cold before...I love to ski and snowboard. But...this is ridiculous.  It was NINE degrees here on Sunday. And when I checked the weather in Long Beach on my Iphone (something I do at least once a day I guess to torture myself) it was SEVENTY TWO!  So, to warm myself up, I've turned the thermostat up to 75 and gone through an entire forest of firewood trying to turn "brutal cold" nights into "warm hearth" evenings.  But I'm still cold...And the only thing I've actually succeeded in is making my fiance's head spin off each time the heating bill arrives in the mail.

4.  I confess: When I fly back to Cali, I  tell the person in the seat next to me that I'm "on my way home." The minute I buckle myself into my seat and head to Cali, I'm often asked "do you live in California?" And I usually say, "Why, yes I do!" Then the person will say "what part?" and I'll happily respond "Long Beach" and they'll nod with approval. What can I say? I get homesick for the sun as soon as I make sure my Louis is stowed away properly and my tray table is in its upright position. I know that when I land I'm going to remember what I've been missing. How glorious it will be when I'll be able to walk outside to the taxi line WITHOUT needing thermal underwear and a face mask.  How people will be wearing flip flops in the seventy five degree January weather.

Don't believe me?  Want to see my ID?!

xoxo, Lisa