Watch this, Not That: Liz's Guilty Pleasures Edition

When it comes to my television watching habits, I tend to have a split personality.  Because there are two versions of Couch potato Liz: The one who's drinking ice water and watching quality TV with her husband and the one who is shoving down handfuls of M&M's while watching that trashy TV we all love to hate. So on this edition of Watch this, Not that, I thought I'd come out of the closet and celebrate my Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde  TV watching self.  That I would declare my love for my ridiculous shows so I no longer have to hit the "exit" button when my husband returns unexpectedly to the family room after he swore he was going to bed.   So I don't have to hide my head in shame when my trashy TV is hogging all the memory on our TiVo, causing it to erase the kid's PBS shows.  And lastly, to give all of you other secret bad TV watchers a soft place to fall.

I'll even entice you into telling me your dirty TV watching secrets by giving away two signed copies of Jennifer Ross's delicious debut novel, The Icing on the Cupcake. It's a great story AND has an awesome recipe at the end of each chapter. Just leave a comment to be entered!

WHEN THE HUSBAND IS AROUND, I WATCH THIS:

SURVIVOR While I'm sure some of you may argue if this should be considered quality TV, you have to admit that Survivor is the grandaddy of all reality TV shows, paving the way for copycats like Joe Millionaire(what ever happened to that guy, anyway?) and Big Brother.  A diehard fan since the first season, Jeff Probst's arrogant, irritating narrative during each challenge, his leading questions during tribal council and that whole The Tribe has spoken thing just never gets old for me.  And with villains like Russell, I think this season's better than ever!

CHUCK I think I've always secretly had a thing for lanky nerd types-at least when it comes to my TV watching preferences. (Why the hell else would I have ever watched The Big Bang Theory?)  And this sweet show about a computer geek who's life is turned upside down when he has a CIA computer downloaded into his brain seems to have finally hit it's stride in it's third season. The best part?  It has enough action (And a smoking hot blonde!) to entice your man to watch it but at the core is just an adorable love story about a guy who's in love with a girl who's completely out of his league.

MY SECRET GUILTY PLEASURES:

THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY Sometimes I actually feel my IQ dropping as I take in the antics of my favorite Garden State Housewives. Announcing that watching another minute would makes his eyes bleed, my husband declared this show unwatchable early on in season one.  Typical that a man can't appreciate a good table-flipping or tell-all book!There's something about tough-talking Caroline and the clueless Teresa that makes me both LOL and feel a little nauseous at the same time.  Like I'm just holding my breath and praying that they aren't really like this.  But either way, I know I won't be able to turn the channel when season two begins May 3rd.

90210 I'm the first to admit that the only reason I gave this show a chance was because of my devotion to it's predecessor.  But unlike it's unwatchable updated cousin Melrose Place, the new 90210 had me at Hello. Okay, so maybe it was all the Kelly, Brenda and Donna cameos that got me on board.  But now, in it's second season, those beyotches are gone and I'm still secretly watching every week when I think no one's looking.  And considering the batch of new hotties they brought on last Fall, some(my husband in particular) may suggest that the cougar in me might be the reason I just can't say no to 90210.  But I stand by it's, um, strong story lines and um, impressive abs, um I meant acting.

What do YOU watch when no one's looking?

xoxo, Liz

5 Reasons We Heart Emily Giffin By Liz & Lisa

Emily Giffin is one of our all time favorite authors.  So we were thrilled to get (and might have even taunted a few people with)  an advance reader copy of her latest novel, Heart of the Matter. And we can't wait to have her as our guest again at CLIND this May when it's released! Click here to read chapter one and click here to pre-order it.

We're also excited to spread the word about something big that Emily is promoting Wednesday April 28th- for one day only. She's going to give away a signed copy of ANY OF HER FIRST FOUR BOOKS to anyone who buys Irene Zutell's book, Pieces of Happily Ever After and sends her their receipt! Just head on over to Emily's blog for all the deets.

We heart Emily not just because she's a fantastic writer, but because she's accessible to her fans, she takes the time to answer our twenty-five questions and participates in promotions like this one that promote authors like Irene. And just because... here's five more reasons we crush on her!

1. She writes books that are so good we WANT them to be made into movies. 

2. She keeps us updated with info and photos like this from the set of what she calls "Sobo" a.k.a. Something Borrowed. Follow her on Facebook and Twitter to stay in the know.

3. She helped pick sexy actors like Steve Howey (who will play Marcus) and Colin Egglesfield (who will play Dex) to star in Sobo.

4. Every book she writes is better than the last. We think Heart of the Matter is her best yet.

5. She supports authors like Irene Zutell by participating in a promotion like this. (PS: You should definitely take part! Two great books by our favorite authors-how can you go wrong?)

xoxo,

Liz & Lisa

Writing Wednesday: Divine Diversions by Liz

I'm in a slump.  A writing slump.  After working like crazy on the The D Word and then battling our way through the query process I find myself a bit, um, unmotivated while we wait patiently for our dream agent to realize that we're the next big thing in publishing. So rather than pitching articles and brainstorming ideas in my spare time, I've been Facebooking with reckless abandon.  And RTing my face off on Twitter. And I even downloaded that Oprah tell-all biography to my Nook last week.  It was clear- I had officially hit my diversion rock bottom.

So when it came time to write about writing, I was perplexed.  Because besides this blog and a few other things, I haven't been doing much writing at all this past month. (Unless you count Facebook status updates. I've been killing it over there!)  I picked up my trusty journal, dusted it off and opened it up to find only empty pages.  Where, oh where, had my inspiration gone?

So I did what any self-respecting blogger does in this situation.  I decided to write about why I'm not writing. My editing downfall.  My own version of internet crack.

Facebook.

Since spending so much time over on "The Book"(that's what I like to call it), I've noticed a few things.  Or rather, a few types of Facebookers that make me shake my head, LOL, LMAO, ROTF or hit the "Hide" button.  Have you seen these people? Are YOU one of these people?  It's okay if you are.  As a self-proclaimed Facebook whore, I'll be friends with ya anyway.

1. The Facebook Bulimic

It's all or nothing for this person.  You won't hear a peep from them for two months and then BAM! They throw up all over your page, your pics and your status, then disappear as quickly as they came- not to be heard from until their next purge.  A "like" or even a "ha!" in between would go a long way. Consistency please!

2. The Embarrasser

I personally think there's a little bit of this one in all of us.  I've posted my fair share of junior prom and GNO gone wrong pics.  But there are some people that won't rest until every single picture from the 80's and 90's has been posted and tagged.  Until every bad fashion decision and aqua-net inspired hairstyle has been revealed. How many times do I have to defend my pre-tweezed eyebrows?  For the last time, I was going for that whole Brooke Shields look!

3. The Debbie Downer

I felt real bad the first time your kids got sick.  And it really sucked when you got that flat tire.  And when your flight was delayed I still was hoping you were just having a run of bad luck.  But when it never ended I realized you were Debbie Downer: Facebook edition and hit the "hide" button faster than you could say Farmville.

4. The Politician

Left, right or in the middle, I don't want to talk politics on FB. I'm just there to check out if my exes moved on with someone hotter than me, not to watch "Meet the Press".  And the ensuing political comment battles that go on?  Ugh. I'd rather be subjected to a million Mafia Wars posts. And that's saying a lot. Can't we all just get along?

5. The Non-Responder

I'm sad to say that my husband falls squarely into this category.  In fact, maybe I even over-Facebook in a misguided attempt to make up for his non-responsiveness.  Tag him in a old picture back when he had a mullet?  Never gonna say a thing.  Write a sweet nothing on his wall?  It will forever sit there untouched.  Give him a poke?  Nada.  Nothing.  Well, in Facebookland anyway.  It goes over much better in person at home. =)

What divine diversions do you indulge in? Leave a comment to be entered to win one of three copies of Chelsea Handler's latest, CHELSEA CHELSEA BANG BANG!

xoxo, Liz

The Zen Test (or: Karma's a Beyotch) By Lisa

If you've been following along lately, you know I'm doing the whole "zen" thing. I've become a yogi (OMMMM and all), ditched gluten (after a ferocious two-week battle, I've accepted my fate) and write my daily affirmations requests to the Universe. In a nutshell, I'm trying to be freakin' positive!

So why am I attracting so many "angries" a.k.a. angry people? You'd think in my new rose-colored, glass is half-full state of mind, the the only folks who'd approach me would be presenting flowers or offerings of peace and good fortune. Not spewing profanities and giving me the universal sign for f**k  you!

I believe in karma. And when they say it's a bitch, I believe 'em. (Whoever they are.) So I can only think that back in my angrier days (and there were MANY of them) I went a little too far. And now maybe I'm getting my payback... But even though I've been there (believe me- giving up gluten can make you want to go on a rampage taking out every wheat eater in your path) I still have to ask, what the hell are people so damn angry about? You angries are really testin' my zen!

Incident #1 happened at Whole Foods. Whole. Foods. You know, the organic, healthy store full of everything from yoga mats to things I'd never heard of until two months ago, like kale? I mean you can hardly push your cart two feet without running into a book on meditation or  some beautiful fresh flowers.  Call me crazy, but shouldn't the shoppers fit the store? Here's the 411:

The angry perp: She was blonde and beautiful. Upon first glance, you'd think she was a former JCrew model. But when she opened her mouth, she became the ugliest person on the planet.

Let's call her Angry Annie.

I started to back out of my parking space, but upon further consideration, pulled back in and shoved it into park. I needed to program my beloved Gabby GPS. I heard a honk. I glanced over my shoulder to see Angry Annie behind the wheel of her SUV. I went back to my GPS figuring she'd move along to one of the FIFTEEN SPACES just next to me. When I finally started to back out, there she was, walking toward me. "Just back the f**k up, lady!" she screamed. Well, I did what any self-respecting person in a parking lot war would do. I rolled my window down and in my sweetest voice asked her, "May I ask what's wrong?"

"I waited for you to back out and you never did!!!!"

Staring at her in disbelief, I was half-amazed at how wildly unattractive she became in the span of five seconds and the other part amazed that someone could be so mad about a parking space. But as I stared into her black eyes, we both knew it wasn't about the space. It never is.

I told her I was programming my GPS and she scoffed, "Yeah right!" (What did she think I was doing, Facebooking? Um, it's been known to happen, but not that day!) And then she stormed off.

I rolled down my other window and called after her, "I sincerely hope you find peace in your life." And I actually really meant it. Either that, or I hoped she'd get an enema and then have someone pull the broom stick out of her ass.

Incident #2 happened while I was pulling out of the gym. And I'm embarrassed to admit, again involved poor Gabby GPS.

Here's the 411: I was leaving a yoga class and turning right onto a busy street. There was a long stream of cars coming my way so I took the opportunity to program Gabby. A few seconds later, I heard honking so I promptly pulled out onto the road. Suddenly, a car swerves around me and cuts me off, blaring the horn all the way. When I saw the car pulling into the gas station, I couldn't help it, I broke into an evil smile. Looked like we had the same destination.

The angry perp: He was in his mid-thirties and actually pretty cute. But just like Annie, as soon as he opened his mouth, looked like The Mask.

Let's call him Mad Max (or Mask)

"You need to get off your f*****g cell phone!" He screamed at me as I stepped out of the car.

I was suddenly frozen in place. To his right, appeared his four-year-old son. And when Mad Max opened the back door of the car, I heard wailing screams from his two-year-old strapped in the car seat.

"You should be ashamed of yourself" I heard myself say. "Driving like that with kids in the car."

"Whatever!" he scoffed.

Later, I ran into him and his two sons after they got their car washed and were shopping for snacks. (So, um, Mad Max, you were in such a fervent rush to get some TWIZZLERS?) So, I dug deep and pulled out something nice to say to the man who had clearly taken his bad day out on me. "I sincerely hope your day gets better." And I meant it. No one, not even Mad Max, should be that mad.

I was on my way to an acupuncture appointment when the Mad Max incident happened. As she stuck needles in my body, I asked my acupuncturist why, with everything I've been doing, I'm attracting this type of negativity. She simply said, "It's not about you."

And I know she's right. But it's hard not to let stranger anger get to me. It's so much easier said than done to, like it says in THE POWER OF NOW, not let the negativity go through me. But I'm working on it. And in the spirit of good will and staying present and not letting my ego take over and all that jazz, I say to angry people like Max and Annie who feel the need to attack perfect strangers to feel better, I hope you find happiness. Or at the very least, a better way to release your frustration. Might I suggest getting laid?

(Sorry, but the zen will always be tempered with sarcasm and humor.)

xoxo, Lisa

5 Things Liz & Lisa didn't know about... Meg Cabot

Have we ever mentioned the majuh love we have for NYT bestselling author Meg Cabot? Between Liz's slight obsession with her YA novels (Um, does Princess Diaries ring a bell for anyone?) and Lisa's love for her Chick Lit Queen of Babble series , we consider ourselves huge fans.  Not to mention how we crush on her witty tweets and Facebook updates.  And once you see the, um, creative way she approached her five things, we think that you'll be girl crushin' on her too. And we also have an AWESOME giveaway to share with y'all! Just keep reading to find out what it is...

But first, we have to tell you about Cabots's latest YA release. It's high fashion with a touch of sci-fi. In Runaway, the dramatic conclusion to the bestselling and acclaimed Airhead novels, Emerson Watts is on the run: from school, from work, from her family, from her friends, from herself. And we all know that no one does YA better than Meg Cabot! Click here to read more about the Airhead series.

And the fabulous giveaway we mentioned?  A Bare Minerals Extreme Glimmers eyecolor set and Airhead Prize pack that includes Airhead, Being Nikki and Runaway. Just leave a comment to be entered.  This contest will run for two weeks so be sure to tell all your friends to head over for their chance to win!

*Cue Drum roll*

CHICK LIT IS NOT DEAD PRESENTS: 5 THINGS LIZ & LISA DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT MEG CABOT!

Since I’ve been blogging circa 2003 (and everything that’s not on my blog is either in my books or on my Twitter), it’s hard to think of five things everybody doesn’t already know about me!

But as a thank you to Chick Lit Is Not Dead for having me here today, I’ll give it a try: The 5 photos no one has ever seen of me (for good reason)!

I’ll admit I came up with the concept for Runaway (which has a modeling/murder theme) because I hate getting my photo taken.  In fact, it was during a book tour that I came up with the idea for the Airhead series... a brain transplant.  Because I would rather have one of those (into Heidi Klum’s body, of course) than deal with getting my picture taken.

That’s because for every good photo of me, there are at least five terrible photos of me.

I call into evidence the following:

1. I have a lazy eye. Not a charming Paris Hilton, if-I-tilt-my-head-the-other- way-it-will-be-all-right lazy eye.  An I-look-like-I-just-had-ten-beers Lazy Eye.

This was taken at the vet’s office.  I wasn’t drunk.  But I look like I am.

2. I also have what my mom calls the Mounsey Squint (her maiden name is Mounsey).  Here’s a good example.  It’s how I look in most photos that readers have taken with me at book signings.  It’s why they always go, “Oh, your eyes were closed.  Can we take that again?”

Don’t bother.  My eyes are actually open.  It’s the Mounsey Squint:

3. Because of this, I have grown pathologically afraid of having photos taken of me at any time. This is how I now react whenever anyone comes close with a camera, and I’m not on tour and REQUIRED to smile:

4.  If there is nothing handy to cram over my face, I am apparently not above resorting to charming expressions like this one in the hope that the photographer will just go away (all of our vacation albums are filled of photos of me looking like this):

5.  In a sly effort to combat all of the above, the last time I had my author photo done, my publisher sent over professional fashion photographer Ali Smith, her assistant, this makeup artist, and her ten-ton arsenal of equipment.

Don't worry Meg, we aren't very photogenic either! To read more about the hilarious Meg Cabot, click here!

And check out what Lisa wrote about Meg over at Barnes and Noble!

xo, Liz & Lisa

5 Things Liz & Lisa didn't know about... Wendy Holden

We love Spring. The blooming flowers, the adorable sundresses and...all the fabulous book releases! Today we're learning more about bestselling UK author Wendy Holden, whose sassy US release Beautiful People is available now.  We think you'll love her five things...how cool is it that she met Princess Diana? And almost became an ambassador?

Wendy Holden (U.K.)  was a journalist on The Sunday Times, Tatler and The Mail on Sunday before becoming a full time author. She has now published nine novels, all top 10 bestsellers in the UK, and is married with two young children. Her novels include Farm Fatale (in US Stores from Sourcebooks Landmark in July 2010), Bad Heir Day (also coming to US stores from Sourcebooks Landmark in September 2010), Simply Divine, Gossip Hound, the Wives of Bath, The School for Husbands, Azur Like it, and Filthy Rich.

Beautiful People is a fabulous adventure revolving around a struggling actress, a desperate former film star and a down-to-earth nanny, Holden's witty novel jets to London, Hollywood and Italy at a frenzied pace. A perfect addition to your beach bag this summer!

And we're thrilled to have FIVE copies of BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE to give away! You know the drill-just leave a comment and you'll be entered to win!

CHICK LIT IS NOT DEAD PRESENTS: 5 Things Liz and Lisa didn’t know about Wendy Holden

1. Beautiful People was inspired by some of my own experience. My first book Simply Divine was optioned for a movie and out of the blue I had this hot-shot Hollywood producer and his wife coming to visit me in London. They wanted to meet at a terrifyingly smart restaurant which I had never been to, and asked me to book it. As it was the kind of place where the wrong table could ruin your life, I rang up and threw myself on their mercy. The film hit the buffers soon afterwards.

2. I almost became a diplomat. My very first job was editing a magazine for foreign ambassadors in London. They had amazing lives – palatial houses; hot and cold running servants; wardrobes you could ride in, let alone walk in; huge black shiny limos; endless parties with eye-watering strong drinks…

I seriously considered going into the Foreign Office after that, but then I landed a job in glossy magazines. They had amazing lives as well, palatial houses; hot and cold running servants; wardrobes you could ride in, let alone walk in; huge black shiny limos; endless parties with eye-wateringly strong drinks…

3. I cry at everything. I’m ludicrously easily moved and can barely read to my children because of it. Alice in Wonderland I can manage, but the more mawkish bits of Peter Pan have me in floods. As for poetry, forget it. At the same time I have a borderline evil sense of humour and laugh at wildly inappropriate things.

4. I’ve met Princess Diana. I was at a garden party at Buckingham Palace; she came up to talk to some people next to me and assumed I was part of the group. She also once came to a Christmas party when I worked at the Sunday Times in London. Otherwise my only royal encounter was being almost run over by Prince Philip, the Queen’s husband, when he was out with his horses and carriage in Windsor Park. He came thundering towards me like something from a horror film; I only just got out of the way.

5. I hate tomato ketchup. My children adore it, and even eat it in sandwiches, which makes me want to retch. My favourite food is baked scallops with garlic and herb butter, fat chips and a rocket salad on the side. Washed down with a glass of champagne, naturellement.

To learn more about Wendy, head on over to http://wendyholden.net!

xo, Liz & Lisa

Radio Silence by Liz

I love Barry Blackberry.  Or rather I'm obsessed.  I think about him when he's tucked away in my purse while I'm working and cuddle him close to my chest to keep him warm when it's cold and rainy.  He's the first thing I grab in the morning and I never forget to blow him a little kiss before heading off to bed each night. But like many others who take their loved ones for granted, I was careless with Barry's love, refusing to buy him that shiny case he'd had his eye on for months.  You don't need it, I told him. You look fine just the way you are. And each time I dropped him on my tile floor, I would gingerly put him back together and swear this was the last time I'd ever hurt him.  That I'd never again place him next to my three-year old's cup of milk.  That I'd find a appropriate place in my purse to store him where he wouldn't get all sticky.

All Empty Promises.

Then, last Sunday, Barry had enough.  He'd taken it like a man when I splashed some fresh-squeezed lemonade on him at the carnival and didn't miss a beat when  my daughter spilled sugar from her pixie stick all up in his parts.  But when I dropped him on that damn tile again, that was it.  After putting him back together, his (lcd) light just wouldn't shine again.  Barry was gone.

*Cue panicked run to Verizon store and angry tantrum when clerk informed me that I would have to wait TWO DAYS to get a new phone*

Hanging my head in my hands, I thought, How the f*ck am I going to survive two days without a phone? My sales job requires me to be in the car all day, and Barry Blackberry had always been my window into the world.  Now I was going to have to *gasp* listen to music, or God forbid, my own thoughts!

But what struck me the most in my two days of radio silence was how much I'd changed since getting Barry.  How distracted I had become in my daily life, how little I paid attention to others while I was replying to a text that I thought just couldn't wait. Now I wondered why it had been so urgent.  How often I chose to Facebook on my phone between appointments rather than preparing.  That I was so addicted to my phone that I kept reaching for it even though it wasn't there.  All in all, I felt pretty lame and promised to try to make some changes when my new Barry Blackberry arrived on my doorstep.

And since re-entering the land of the communicative, I have to admit that old habits die hard.  But I'm trying.  I even bought him a shiny pink case, although he feels it strips away his masculinity. I told him he'll get over it-it's better than having your battery case ripped opened every day, right?

The best part of my two days of silence? My productivity. I even had time to make a list about it!

During my Radio silence...

• Actually listened to myself think. Think I may have solved that whole cold fusion thing.

• Went to the car wash and *watched* my car get washed.

• Endured more crunching and smacking sounds than any one person ever should.

• Gave that guy at Starbucks the wrong idea when I stared at his Blackberry. (I may have drooled a little bit .)

• Decided that I was too good and started judging everyone else talking on their cell phone to make myself feel better.

• Eavesdropped on some really interesting conversations.

• NEVER knew what time it was.

xoxo, Liz

Watch this, Not that By Lisa

DISCLAIMER: I'm going through an inexplicable "emotional phase" and the robot in me (and the hubs) is hoping to Hell that it will soon pass. Because it's affecting all areas of my life. Like how I interact on Facebook. (I've become a sappy, "I love you" spewing cyber-stalking mess!) And as you're about to read, it's severely affecting my television watching choices. As I've sat in front of the boob tube lately, there's been majuh tears and I'm not sure any of them were justified. And I'm not sure that non-emotional Lisa would at all approve of the television endorsements in this blog post anymore than you will. But here goes...(And PS: I don't have any "Don't Watch's" this week. Because, as you'll read, my judgment could be severely off. And what I think is a watcher, could be just the opposite. Feel free to let me know if my Kleenexes were not warranted. But I must warn you, if you're too hard on me I might cry!) Watch This

Jessica Simpson's The Price of Beauty Uh, huh. That's no typo. In fact, it's so bad that I just became a fan on Facebook.  Who knew the girl who didn't know Chicken of the Sea was tuna could produce such a compelling show? On the first episode I saw Jessica, her best friend CeCe, and her hairstylist, Ken met an anorexic former model who brought the mom jeans wearing singer to tears. And Jessica Simpson's not the only one who cried. Then Jessica walked her first ever catwalk and was ordered around by a woman so intimidating that I even slouched down in my couch. Jessica was so nervous and insecure before she walked that suddenly I felt for her- and was compelled to go find John Mayer and kick him where the sun don't shine. So if you're overdue for a Hallmark card moment, tune in to this VH1 show. But I have to warn you, after I take my emotional colored glasses off (please God, let it be soon!) , I could be moving this to the Don't Watch column right next to Cougar Town. Stay tuned.

Watch this

Undercover Boss Even as I type the words, I know you're probably shaking your head in confusion. And in truth, I kind of am too. And before I tuned in, I would've laughed if you'd suggested I even watch it. But after watching a recent episode (A CEO of a family fun park disguised himself and spent the day with several different employees) I was hooked. There was the sidewalk washer who'd lost his home in a flood and also adopted two kids even though he already had three; the formerly homeless single mom who barely made ends meet but said it's about helping people, the pay comes later and the college student who was going to school full-time and working nights. At the end, the CEO reveals himself and then gives the employees raises, etc.. Right around the time he said he'd pay for the college kid's tuition, I was bawling my eyes out. Matt was so confused he didn't know what to do- I hadn't even cried that hard at our wedding. Again, this might be the time to revisit the disclaimer.

Watch this

Parenthood. Two words. Peter. Krause. Need I say more? On the season finale of Six Feet Under was anyone else crying not only because such a fabulous show was over, but because they wouldn't be seeing his hotness for a while? OMG, how I've missed him!  When I heard the positive buzz about Parenthood, I can't believe I didn't realize he was on it. And admittedly, when I tuned into the first episode, I'm not even sure I paid much attention to the storyline or watched anyone other than him. Oh, and Lauren Graham from Gilmore Girls (love her!) But I can say that the show did make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Or, maybe that had more to do with Peter, I don't know... But I say watch it and let me know what you think- of Peter and of the show.

xoxo,

Lisa

5 Things Liz & Lisa Didn't Know about...Jane Green

She's a funny and very down-to-earth blogger, a mother of six and, oh, she also happens to be, like, the most famous Chick Lit author EVUH. Our mystery author is revealed and, yup, it's Jane Green! Our Chick Lit hero who also happens to be a New York Times bestselling author of eleven books, including one of Lisa's all-time fave's, Jemima J. And Liz puts The Beach House at the top of her "loves to read over and over again" list. Jane Green is a "must read" author for any chick lit lover! And we're so excited that Dune Road will be out in paperback on May 25th! Click here to pre-order it.

We're beyond thrilled that Jane took time out of her incredibly busy life (did you see the part about the six kids or "smalls" as she calls them?) not just to share 5 things we didn't know about her, but to make a video to personally tell us 5 things we didn't know about her.  Which we LOVE. She's honest and hilarious and well, we've developed a bit of a crush after watching it. And you will too.

PS: Leave a comment here and you'll be entered to win a fabulous Flip video camera just like the one Jane used to make the video. And thank you to those of you who've been following along on our Facebook page and trying to guess the mystery author's identity!

CHICK LIT IS NOT DEAD PRESENTS: 5 Things Liz & Lisa didn't know about Jane Green! (PSS: Watch carefully. If you can correctly guess the location of her t*****, you'll be entered for a chance to win an advanced reading copy of her new book, Promises to Keep. Just go to Jane's Facebook page or her website and tell her where you think it is.)

Mommy Monday-Till death do us part

Most parents dread the day they have to explain the concept of death to their children.  That they'll have to shatter their belief that we'll all be here forever. And while some people like to go with  Honey, we sent Daisy the dog to live with another family when their animals pass, I've always been more of a realist. When Goofy the guinea pig inexplicably dropped dead last year, I gave it to my five- year-old straight.  And what else could I do, considering the fact that we had found her lifeless body together?  She was pretty upset, but after a proper burial, impromptu memorial service in the backyard and a brand new guinea the next week, she seemed to move on pretty quickly. *big sigh of relief*

But when our beloved German Shepard, Jordan, collapsed late Tuesday night, explaining to a five year old that the dog she's loved since she was born might not come home was a whole other story.

In fact, it was one of my first thoughts as I raced to the "Animal ER".  (Well, that and the fact that "Animal ER" would make a great reality show) As I waited the THREE HOURS to see Dr. McDoggy, I wondered what I'd say to the kids when she wasn't there to lick their faces in the morning and silently prayed that she had just eaten something really, really bad.  But four hours and *gasp* $1500 (WTF! Are animals eligible for universal health care too?) later, Dr. McDoggy gave me the diagnosis and it wasn't good. Jordan had cancer.

Needless to say, it was turning into a bad night.  The only bright spot? That Dr. McDoggy was damn cute.  And had an accent. In fact, his only flaw was his tendency to have more dramatic pauses in his speech than Ryan Seacrest on elimination night of American Idol. It's 4am, dude! Just spit it out!

And because I believe in being honest, I broke the news to the kids the next day.  That Jordan was very sick, she may not be with us much longer, so let's just give her all the love and enjoy every minute that she's with us. That should do it, right?

WRONG.

*insert three hours of screaming and crying followed by thousands of uncomfortable theological questions*

But now a few days later, they seem to be getting through it. But I have to say, there is a part of me that wishes we hadn't told them. Which begs the question: How long should we shield our kids from death?

I've always been the mom that told my kids that if they crossed the street without me, they would get hit by a car. Same story with the pool.  Don't go in without Mommy. Why?  Because you'll drown.  And while some of my friends thought my approach was a bit, um, harsh, I always felt like it was better for them to know that if they step out in front of a moving car, the shit's going to hit the fan.

But now, I'm not as sure.  Life and death are such complex concepts that I'm not sure they grasp them.  And the last thing I want is for my kids walking around being scared to death of, well, death!

Sadly, our elderly neighbor passed away this week. And after my experience with Jordan, when the kids asked me why I was buying his wife flowers last night, I just smiled and said nothing.  Because I think they've had enough life lessons for one week.

xo, Liz

Oh Wheat, How I Miss Thee By Lisa

Acupuncture, yoga even Feng Shui. No, I'm not talking about the hobbies of some spiritual yogi , I'm talking about me. I'm not sure exactly how it happened, but I've recently turned into a sage burning, crystal buying, lavender spraying, wheat free eating, universe asking optimist!

I've even *gasp* meditated!

Me. Lisa Steinke, er, Dannenfeldt. She who used to be, well, a lot more intense and would have never thought she could lie still for five seconds, let alone five minutes. But there is one problem I have as I lie on my blue mat, arms outstretched, breathing in and out.  I can't seem to keep my mind from wandering. And no matter how hard I try, one thought keeps creeping in. No, not Josh Duhamel without a shirt on. Or my baffling girl crush on Kara DioGuardi.

I keep thinking about...

WHEAT!

And even with my new "zen-itude", it's hard to remain peaceful and calm and focused on your freakin' breath when you're slowly but surely STARVING TO DEATH on your new gluten and wheat-free diet.

And I can be one angry bee-yotch when I'm hungry.  And there ain't a crystal or a lavender tea on this planet that can save anyone in my path when I haven't eaten. (Sorry, honey!)

Because, P.S., EVERYTHING has wheat in it. Everything.

Which you don't realize until You. Cannot. Have. It.

Want a hamburger? Sor-ry. The bun isn't in compliance.

Craving a sandwich? Oh well. That would require bread.

Want pasta? Too bad. Unless you want RICE spaghetti. YUM-ME!

And don't even get me started on going out to eat. Um, waiter, I'd like the tuna fish sandwich, hold the bread and mayonnaise please. (Yup, it's in mayo too).  Woo, hoo!

So why am I putting myself through this wheat-free hell if it's so, well, hellish? Because I do feel better. And I am starting to find things that I can consume other than fruits and vegetables (if I even look at another banana I might hurt someone). I've discovered wheat-free a.k.a. "rice" tortillas that I make with rice cheese (um, yeah, I don't do dairy either) and black beans (no wheat in those!). Ooh, how exciting! A tortilla-free, cheese free quesadilla!

But did I mention my skin looks great?

Namaste!

xoxo, Lisa

Match me if you Can by Liz

I've always fancied myself a matchmaker. Which is probably why I declared my love for The Millionaire Matchmaker in last week's Watch this, not That and why I am loving Marla Martenson's new memoir DIARY OF A BEVERLY HILLS MATCHMAKER, a hilarious look at her days as a real-life L.A. matchmaker. Want a chance to win your own copy?  Just leave a comment about your own dating experiences and you'll be entered to win! Back in the day,  I'd set singles up with abandon.  In fact, I think I set up one of my guy friends so much that he ended up dating just about every single girl I knew with in a thirty-mile radius. Good for him, bad for my parties. *cue awkward situation*

Truth be told, not one of my matches ever worked out.  My superior sales skills would bring them each to the table, (She's so smart!  He loves his mother!) but it never quite clicked.  Most crashed and burned pretty quickly, with me standing in the middle. And that's the thing- a true matchmaker probably holds the secret how to put two people you care about together without getting involved with the fallout when it fails. Because, let's admit it, most of them do. But when it works out, you get all the glory...

Did I mention that Lisa and her hubby were setup?  They were so happy about it that they even made a special toast to the couple who brought them together at the rehearsal dinner!  And yes, I was secretly jealous.  Because I had also tried my hand at setting her up over the years unsuccessfully.  But considering her matchmaker has at least five marriages under her setup belt, there was no way I could compete.  This woman has a gift. And after fifteen years of trying, I'm willing to publicly admit that I was a sucky setter-upper.

But good or bad, it's always a good story-here are some of my personal faves:

1. Slammed into the back of a hottie driving a BMW on the 405 freeway. (sorry about the bumper!)  Too cute to let him get away but already married, boldly asked him if he was single and gave him Lisa's email address.  Yep, right there on the side of the road. He turned out to be a total douche bag. But still, I think I deserve an A for effort. Right, Lisa?

2. During an impromptu post break-up trip to Las Vegas, pushed Lisa off on a Teva-with-socks wearing Midwesterner at Coyote Ugly in an attempt to make her feel better. Should I even mention the irony when we discovered later that his last name was ROTTEN? Widely considered my rock bottom as matchmaker. Lesson learned: Don't EVUH set someone up while in Vegas. There's a reason what happens in Vegas stays there.

3.One of my BFs said she had a mailman that I just had to meet. I was skeptical but curious.(I had never gone government before!)  But when we accidentally bumped into his hot swing dance partner on our first date, I knew it wasn't a love connection. Let's just say I wish my friend had led with "swing-dancing mailman". It would have saved us all a lot of time.

4. Things were going well with the hot district attorney that my roommate set me up with. Until I made a drunken argument for why, as children, we were allowed to skip but not run on the playground. Because, really, wasn't skipping faster? In my defense, I was one fast-ass skipper in my time.  After that, our case was dismissed.

Tell us your blind date and/or matchmaking story and be entered to win DIARY OF A BEVERLY HILLS MATCHMAKER!

xo, Liz

Feng Shui My Way By Lisa

It's not every day that you hear the words, "You’re going to be single until you get rid of the dead Christmas tree on your balcony!"

It was the Spring of 2007 (I'll get to why I still had my tree in a minute- no judgment please!). The Indianapolis Colts had recently won the Superbowl, The Departed had just snagged the Oscar for best picture and I’d just been dumped. Hard. On. My. Ass.  So, I did what any self-respecting dumpee would do. I called in a professional. No, not that kind. I already had Liz on retainer for all my psychological needs. I called a Feng Shui expert.

When Los Angeles Feng Shui expert Jayme Barrett got to my condo, she looked around, made some notes and gave me several suggestions of what to do to bring new energy and love into my home. Everything was going along swimmingly until she walked out onto my balcony and gasped.  "What. Is. That?" she said, as if she'd stumbled upon a dead body rather than a dead Christmas tree.

"Oh that? I haven't gotten around to dumping it. Work's been really busy," I said nonchalantly.

"It's April!" she exclaimed, her eyes growing wider.

"Um, I know...there was just no way I could get that out of here on my own. I'm five floors up," I stammered, knowing how pathetic I sounded.

"Well my dear, that dead Christmas tree is in the love corner of your home. And you'll never meet a man until you get rid of that."

Cue "oh sh*t" expression on my face.

Faster than you can say match.com, 1-800-Got-Junk was knocking on my door and hauling away everything from that dead tree to dozens of garbage bags full of, well, junk. I cleaned my house from top to bottom, bought new furniture (and a new bed- for obvious reasons!) and Feng Shui'd the shizat out of things just the way my expert had told me to.  I'd never felt better.  And four months later, I met my future husband-proving to all those who had made fun of me that this Feng shui sh*t was no joke!

Cut to this past weekend. Six months after I schmoved, okay, moved to the Midwest. The fabulous wedding was over and I finally decided to unpack and sort through everything I'd carted down Route 66. Consulting my trusty Feng Shui book, Feng Shui Your Life I decided to  de-clutter and clear away any negative energy that might be looming. Matt and I rolled up our sleeves (yes, the man jumped in!) and worked non-stop for two days clearing, hauling, organizing and Good Will-ing just about anything that crossed out path.

But the thing about Feng-Shui-ing is that you have to let go of everything and anything you absolutely do not need, brings you a bad memory, causes you any stress in any way. You have to PURGE.  And I'm not a hanger-on-er at all, but I still had stuff that I looked at and said WTF am I still doing with that? Like my never worn "wide belt" that Matt joked looked like something I'd put on before entering my first WWE wrestling tournament. Or the binder full of articles about the Toyger "designer" cat I came dangerously close to buying. (Long story!)

But my biggest WTF moments came when I sifted through my pictures. There's just something about old photos. I cannot throw them out. And why should I?  Don't I need something to dissuade me the next time I'm thinking about cutting my hair like Ellen DeGeneres and bleaching it blonde? (It was fashion-forward at the time, I swear!)  Or what about when Matt (and I) are trying to cut "unnecessary" expenses from our budget?  Just one glance at my pre-waxed brows will keep my monthly appointment with Tatiana on the list.  So, Feng Shui Land, I may have finally given up my collection of eighties hoop earrings, but you'll never get me to give up the pictures of me wearing them! And, c'mon, you can see why I hang on to old photos like these, right? Give a girl a break. Maybe she just wants to feel a little better about herself now. ;)

xoxo, Lisa

Mommy Monday by Liz

Over the years, I've found myself in A LOT of wedding parties.  I always seem to snag that last bridesmaid spot, edging out a distant cousin or a old friend who just hasn't been pulling their weight the past couple of years. In fact, if my writing career doesn't work out, I've always thought I could rent myself out to desperate brides who are lacking a bulldog bridesmaid.  Because doesn't every bride need a McGyver on their team on their big day? Someone who can perform miracles with a safety pin but who will also do tequila shots and the chicken dance?

When I said "I Do" last Fall when Lisa asked me to be her MOH, I felt slightly panicked.  It had been a while since my last tour of duty and I wondered if I still had it in me.  The last time I had served, I had been three months pregnant with my son and had to have my purple chiffon dress taken out more times than I care to admit and secretly worried I might throw up on my bride if the wrong smell crossed my path.  But on that special day, I put my 24/7 nauseousness aside and bustled like nobody's business.  And as I waved goodbye to them as they sped off in their limo to their honeymoon, I sighed and decided it was time to retire my status as perpetual wedding party member.  Putting all that work in without the free drink payoff just didn't feel the same.

But when Lisa got engaged, I was ready. I'd had four years off and was ready to get back on the wedding party circuit-and the fact that I'd be reporting to a couple that I adored was just a bonus.  And for the most part, Lisa was the most easygoing bride I had ever worked for.  She let me choose my own dress and didn't make me have big ol' prom hair.  In fact, she really didn't make me do much of anything before the big day.  But I think that deep down, we both knew that was because she wanted me to be ready for battle when it counted.  And I was!  That morning, I wrangled guests, acted a photographer and DJ in the bridal suite and even held my tongue when I had my makeup done (She was great-but because of my alligator skin I gave "pancake face" a whole new meaning!).  I had my A game on people!

Until my children showed up.

When Lisa generously asked my three and five-year olds to be in her wedding party, little did I know that having them there might mess up my MOHness.  I was too blinded by visions of them floating down the aisle in their Sunday best, although the reality included, me, bent over, walking down the aisle with them while begging my daughter to throw just ONE damn flower.

So when they showed up in the bridal suite, demanding my attention, I was torn.  I had made a commitment to serve my bride.  How did I merge that with the fact that my daughter was walking around with her gold ballet slippers on the wrong feet and wanted to color on her cream tights? Or the guilt I felt when I whacked my three-year-old's head with my papparazzi camera as I tried to get the money shot of Lisa's toast at the rehearsal dinner the night before?

So when crunch time arrived, I was a bit flustered.  Trying to smile as the photographer snapped pictures of me applying Lisa's lipstick, (What can I say, I'm a full-service MOH!) I prayed that he'd crop out the crying child hanging on to my leg and begging to come play "just one game" of Old Maid. And I'm crossing my fingers that my son was too busy with his hot wheels to notice that I drank half the bottle of "Mommy apple juice".

But at the end of the day, we all had a wonderful time. Thanks to a great friend, the hubs and I were able to party that night with our peeps in peace and sleep in the next morning. (Thanks Patrice!) And even though it was way more stressful to have my little rugrats taking part of Lisa's big day than if they had stayed home, I wouldn't have wanted it any other way.

I'll never forget how it felt to hear my daughter take a deep breath in when she saw Lisa for the first time in her (gorgeous!) dress or the way my son shyly watched her from the doorway as we arranged her veil.  I'm always amazed by how much more work everything is when the kids are involved, but at the same time infinitely more rewarding. As always, the joys of parenting are always in the little things.

xo, Liz

Watch this, not that by Liz

As much as I love my children, I must admit there's one aspect of my pre-mommy life that I miss so much it hurts sometimes...

Sitting on the couch for hours watching bad TV.

These days I'm lucky if I can keep up with Project Runway (forget about that Models of the Runway show) and usually just have the hubs give me his dramatic reenactment of that week's Amazing Race. (Which, btw, he never quite seems to do it justice...)  My Tivo is constantly erasing my fave shows in favor of Hot Wheels, Battle Force 5 and I've had to re-prioritize my priority manager more times than I care to mention.

So, I had to learn the hard way how to become a more discerning TV watcher. And because I know many of us have the same problem, I'm happy to help ya out a bit by cutting through all the bullshit and letting you know to Watch this, not that!

Watch The Good Wife

There's a reason that EW chose The Good Wife as one of the ten best TV shows on right now. I was originally drawn to this show hoping to get my *Mr. Big* fix but ending up staying because of Julianna Marguiles. It's a story about a woman who stands by her man through a political scandal and finds herself entering the work force after staying home for fifteen years raising her two children.  The storyline is so layered, so well acted, that my stomach does a little flip each week when I see that Tivo has recorded it.  And the best part?  It's got enough criminal procedural stuff going on that your hubby won't feel like he's emasculating himself by watching it with you each week!

Watch The Millionaire Matchmaker

With less time to watch TV these days, I think this is the kind of show I miss most.  The Millionaire Matchmaker kindly runs marathons constantly, just begging you to sit your lazy ass on the couch and watch as Matchmaker Patti cuts through any and all BS. She. Is. Genius. From the way she handles the enormous millionaires' egos or catfights with a drag queen, she is fantastic.  Whether she's telling the real estate developer that cuff links are so 1987 and that his haircut channels that guy from Greatest American Hero or she's telling off an NBA player for mistreating one of her girls, she has the balls to say exactly what we're all thinking.  If you only have time for one guilty pleasure on your Tivo, I highly recommend this!

Not Cougar Town

I really wanted to like Cougar Town.  It sounded right up my alley-alums from Scrubs, Friends and Dawson's Creek (don't judge!) and also featuring the ridiculously hot Josh Hopkins.  Not to mention the fact that, at age thirty-six, I'm *gulp* entering cougar territory myself and was hoping to relate to some of Courtney Cox's antics.  While watching the pilot, I told myself that it was just a fluke that it seemed, um, awkward and forced.  But since I was determined to become a Cougar Town fan, I gave it a few weeks to get it together.  But I then returned to discover that they were STILL trying too hard.  And while it may still have a place in my Tivo, (right next to the twelve episodes of Desperate Housewives I can't bring myself to watch) Cougar Town lost it's place in my heart.

Not Tool Academy

Wanna feel better about your own relationship?  Then Tool Academy may be right up your alley.  It's about women(and a few good men) who, in a last ditch effort to save their relationship, bring their bandana-wearing, fake tanning, cheating significant others to the Tool Academy. After spending thirty minutes with Neander-Tool, Looney-Tool and DoubleTalking-Tool, I didn't blame that girlfriend one bit for screaming I'll cut your ass! at the therapy session.  I felt like screaming too.

For those of us who loved bad boys back in the day, this show will make you squirm, remembering what it was like to date a complete DOUCHE BAG and rejoice in the fact that you pulled your head out of your ass before it was too late.  New favorite quote: You can't turn a ho into a housewife~Daniel a.k.a. Glow Stick Tool

What are YOU watching this week?

xoxo, Liz

Writing Wednesday- Query Quandary

Some might say climbing Mt. Everest is an accomplishment. Others might argue that a true victory is winning a gold medal or being awarded an Oscar.

And although we salute all the incredible people who fall into those categories and agree that those would be amazing achievements, we're not athletic or skilled enough to join them in those ranks so we'll settle for believing that writing a query for our manuscript The D Word is one of the toughest challenges we've ever faced. (Liz would like it duly noted that she deserves a close second for giving birth- twice!)

And to celebrate not only finishing our query, but making it through the process alive (more on that below), we're giving away two $20 itunes gift cards (because music helps us write) and six autographed books by authors who've inspired us-Sarah Pekkanen (THE OPPOSITE OF ME) and Kristin Hannah (WINTER GARDEN). Just leave a comment (you know the drill--we're fabulous, you love us, love the blog, blah, blah...) and you'll  be entered to win.

So back to the query quandary...Condensing the plot of our novel into two paragraphs was only half the battle. Agreeing on what the content of those two sections should be was the other. And although we feel we have an incredibly successful writing partnership, that doesn't discount the cold hard fact that we're both Type-A control freaks who always want to be right.

Let us take you back to the day we decided that we'd each independently take a stab at the query and then reveal our work to the other. In Southern California, it was an El-Nino-esque rainstorm that included a hurricane. In the Chicago 'burbs, it was eighteen degrees, gloomy and included a "delightful" present from Mother Nature- Eight. Inches. Of. Snow.

Cut to Lisa holed up in her house, wrapped in an afghan blanket, tears of sadness spilling down her cheeks as she cried for the sun (okay, so maybe that's a wee bit of an embellishment- there was no afghan). She put in her ipod headphones and typed away as she imagined she was in Maui as she listened to Bob Marley belt out Don't Worry, Be Happy (alright, so maybe she was actually listening to Party in the U.S.A.- don't judge!). When she finished, she smiled broadly. "This is damn good," she said to her fountain of prosperity in the corner. It was time to send it to Liz who was going to be so pleased!

Open email form, attach query, add self-congratulatory quip to Liz, send. Wait....

Two thousand miles away, Liz stared out at the pouring rain, part of her ecstatic that she finally had an excuse to wear her new Burberry wellies, the other half of her semi-panicked that, as a result of the hurricane in SEAL BEACH, her daughter's school was on lockdown. As Jordan Sparks sang in her ears, she wrote fast and furiously, taking the time to pat herself on the back along the way because she was still able to crank out such great content on such a miserable day. It was time to send it to Lisa who was going to be so pleased!

Open email form, attach query, add self-congratulatory quip to Lisa, send. Wait...

I'm sure you see where this story is going. Well, it's safe to say that neither of us were as in love with our partner's work as we were with our own! Lisa got up on her soapbox and actually said the words, "How do you not LOVE this?" and Liz retaliated with, "Um, because mine is So. Much. Better!" For an hour we debated everything- including the true definition of divorce. There was even a particularly ugly moment when someone threatened that both queries should be sent to an "unbiased" party who would decide which one should "win". Finally, exhaustion took hold and the right-fighters agreed to sleep on it.

The next day, with much-needed perspective, fresh attitudes and plenty of caffeine all around, we decided to merge our work.  Over the next week, we methodically deleted, rearranged and reworked until we were as close to satisfied as we were ever going to get. Then, we were lucky enough to have brilliant authors including Allison Winn Scotch, Laura Dave and Sarah Pekkanen agree to review our query and give us invaluable feedback. Thank you, ladies! We are forever indebted to you!

And now as we write this blog post, our query for The D Word is complete and sitting in the inbox of our dream agent.  And now we wait. And wait. And wait some more. And it will probably be harder than when Lisa waited by the home phone (literally) to find out if she'd made the junior varsity cheerleading squad (she didn't-and they FORGOT to call-long story!) or when Liz waited at her graduation lunch for her date  to show up (he never did- even longer story!). But many moons and hopefully more maturity later, we're all about positive thinking- affirmations, fountains and the whole nine yards. And because of that, we know find the right agent to rep us. (That is, if we don't kill each other trying to perfect our synopsis-but that's a whole other blog!)

xoxo, Liz & Lisa

The Bride Card By Lisa

Some might say the President of the United States is the most powerful man in the world. Others might argue its celebrities like Madonna, Elton John or Brad Pitt who dominate. I say there’s no doubt those people are all important, but there’s someone with a lot more influence and authority. Someone who red carpets roll out for, champagne constantly appears for and anyone will do anything for.

The bride.

For one day, more important than any other uniform in the world is the white dress and veil. And more exclusive and powerful than even the elusive black American Express is another card. A card you only get to carry for one day. A card that you can milk for access to anyone and anything. A card that gets you a yes to any question you ask. A card that allows you to act however you want and still get whatever you want.

The bride card.

Even my award-winning Matron of Honor, Liz, (more on that in a minute) used it. In fact, I might even argue she became drunk with power as the words bridal suite rolled off her tongue with such ease you’d think she’d lived in the 650 square foot space all of her life. If I so much as blinked or even slightly furrowed my brow, Liz was on the phone faster than you can say bridezilla expertly using some combination of the words, “the bride wants”, “the bride needs” or “the bride is REALLY, REALLY thirsty and will ONLY drink White Star champagne.”

Or even when the bride card wasn’t being used for me, but was not so secretly being used for her (um, like rush ordering a hamburger the night before my wedding because the “bride was hungry”) as far as I’m concerned, she was entitled to use it. She deserved to whip out the card because she blocked and tackled like there was no tomorrow. Forget that dude from The Blind Side, Liz may as well have been 6'7" and 350 pounds of rippling muscle as she watched my back.

Like when she offered to kick the asses of certain people who got a little over excited about the concept of an open bar or when she promised to personally rip the wildly inappropriate ensemble off a certain someone and replace it with something far more acceptable like a burlap sack or when my photographer asked us to “dolphin kiss” (not Matt and me—Liz and me!) for the second time (the first was traumatic enough) and she whispered through her toothless smile, “if he even infers we should hold hands, I’ll shove his camera where the sun don’t shine.”

And all the while, I got to float along behind her with a huge toothy smile on my face- wondering if this was what the Queen of England or a mob boss felt like- having someone else to do their dirty work for them.

I’d like to take a moment to give Liz the Matron of Honor of the Year award and thank her for:

• Wearing four-inch heels during the ceremony even though the highest she ever goes is 1.5.
• Reminding me to keep things in perspective. Most notably when I called her in a heated panic over a mysterious rash that had appeared on my back and she sternly yet softly warned me that I’d better get it together and realize there were people out there with real problems- like in Haiti.
• Telling me it was okay that I cried with joy when I saw and loved myself in my wedding dress.
• And also that it was okay to say out loud that as a producer I thought my wedding was a damn. Good. Show.
• Sticking her entire head under my wedding dress to put on my “something borrowed” garter and smiling bravely as she got more up close and personal than even my Russian bikini waxer, Tatiana, and saw things she should’ve never had to see. In. Her. Entire. Life. (We’re close, but not that close!)
• For doing her bride proud and giving a kick ass, laugh out loud MOH speech. (Hilarious highlights include, but are not limited to, the reminder of the pure bred cat I came dangerously close to ordering in the height of my singledom, the list of former metrosexual boyfriends including the Ryan Seacrest wannabe and the very astute and simultaneously frightening observation that my husband, Matt is practically Liz in a wig.)

Thank you, MOH!!!!

Well, I'm happy to report that my wedding day was the best day of my life. And it's not because I got to play the bride card (okay maybe that was a tiny part of it) but because I have the best friends and family anyone could ask for! And I married the best man I could ever ask for.

Oh, and I wore the best. damn. dress. evuh!

On that note-would it be weird if I arbitrarily decided to wear my wedding dress, say, out to dinner or even to run errands? The thought of packing her away makes me too sad for words and the thought of not being the bride anymore, well, I can't even talk about it!

;)

xoxo,

Lisa

Five Things Liz & Lisa didn't know about...Sarah Pekkanen

We've made no secret about the fact that we LOVE Sarah Pekkanen. Her debut novel, The Opposite of Me, will be published by Washington Square Press, an imprint of Simon & Schuster, next week.  But before it hits bookstores, she's holding a Sarah Spike Day with a big raffle for everyone who pre-orders her book this Wednesday, March 3. So, what's in it for you if you pre-order The Opposite of Me on 3/3?  Here are the raffle prizes:

• A small, sleek HD camcorder from DXG USA’s Pro Gear line for 2010 (www.dxgusa.com). It retails for $300.  We gave them away at our Girls Night Out book signing last summer-they are AWESOME!

• A gift bag containing five hot new Simon & Schuster releases

• Five high-end, cotton t-shirts from Heart Threads Clothing (www.heartthreadsclothing.com). You pick the size, color and secret message printed on the inside of your shirt and worn close to your heart. Five winners!

• A 30-minute phone consultation with Sarah, in which she'll explain, step-by-step, how she got signed by a literary agent and publisher. This will include an editorial critique of your manuscript of up to 40 pages. If you're not interested in writing a novel, you can gift this prize to anyone you choose.

• This last prize is one a character in her book, Lindsey, would especially like:  A $35 gift certificate to MAC cosmetics (Lindsey is a fan of their eyeshadow) and a gorgeous red bustier from Affinitas Intimates. It would probably look best on a woman, but we won't pass judgment if the guys want to win it!

If you want to be entered in Sarah's raffle, here’s what to do:

1) On Wednesday, March 3, order The Opposite of Me online from places including Amazon.com, BarnesandNoble.com or Powells.com. If you buy more than one book, you’ll get more than one chance to win.

2) Email your receipt within 24 hours to this address: sarah@sarahpekkanen.com and make sure to put CONTEST as the subject line.

3) Wait to hear if you are one of the winners!

Now for the even bigger news…#1 New York Times bestseller Jennifer Weiner, author of seven blockbusters including Best Friends Forever and In Her Shoes, which was made into a major motion picture staring Cameron Diaz, is supporting The Opposite of Me by holding an extraordinary giveaway of her own! Please visit Jen’s website for the details of how she is giving a free, autographed copy of one of her books to everyone who orders The Opposite of Me!

Remember, these are separate giveaways. So you can enter Sarah's raffle, or Jen’s giveaway, or both! The possibilities are endless!

If you’d like to read the first chapter of The Opposite of Me, a Redbook magazine book club pick, it’s on Sarah's website, www.sarahpekkanen.com. And trust us, it's as good as everyone is saying it is!

And just when you thought things couldn't get ANY better, we also asked Sarah to share five things we didn't know about her.  And, if it's even possible, we think we love her even more after reading them!  We think you will too.

Five Things Liz and Lisa didn't know about...Sarah Pekkanen!

1. I was rejected as a contestant on Wheel of Fortune, despite the fact that I have a Rain Man-like ability to solve puzzles with no letters showing. I’m still bitter; I really wanted to spin that wheel!

2. I wrote part of The Opposite of Me at Chuck E. Cheese. I’ve got three young boys, so I bring my laptop with me wherever I go and squeeze in snatches of writing time. I’ve got this system down at Chuck E.’s: I keep all the tokens on my table and my kids have to come to me every time they need one. So they’re checking in every couple of minutes, and in the meantime, I’m pecking away on my laptop.

3. The Opposite of Me isn’t even the slightest bit autobiographical. The first thing people ask me when they hear the premise of my book – it’s the story of twin sisters who are complete opposites – is whether I’m a twin. Nope; I don’t even have a sister. But I've always been intrigued by the complex relationships my friends have with their sisters, so I tried to make the relationship of my main characters, Lindsey and Alex, as juicy and competitive and loving and tangled as possible. I've heard about twins who are so close that they create their own language, and can feel each other's pain from miles away - but I wondered what would happen to twins who were completely different. What if two sisters had nothing in common, but were constantly being compared? How would that shape their relationship?

4. I started writing books when I was a kid. A few years ago, my niece discovered an old letter I’d written on Raggedy Ann stationery asking a publisher when my book, titled, “Miscellaneous Tales and Poems” would be published. I carry that letter with me every time I go to New York to meet with my publisher, as a reminder that dreams really do come true. Well, at least some dreams. Brad Pitt has yet to show up on my doorstep wearing nothing but a toolbelt and a knowing smile and asking me if I need anything fixed. So maybe it’s only G-rated dreams that come true.

5. When I'm not writing, I love to run marathons and study Latin and organize the clothes in my closet by color and season. Naw, not really. I watch reality TV and eat too much chocolate and worry if my butt looks fat in my favorite jeans.

To read more about Sarah, head on over to  www.sarahpekkanen.com or become a fan on Facebook.

xoxo, Liz & Lisa

5 Things Liz & Lisa didn't know about...Wendy Wax

March is going to be a great month!  Not only  will we be featuring fantastic authors like Sarah Pekkanen and Jodi Picoult, we'll also be revealing the mystery author we've been hinting about on our Facebook fan page.   But right now we're ecstatic to find out five things we didn't know about...Wendy Wax! We first discovered Wendy  last year when we devoured THE ACCIDENTAL BESTSELLER, a wonderful story about four best friends who discover how little they know about each other. We LOVED it!  Now comes MAGNOLIA WEDNESDAYS.  After she's fired from her job as an investigative reporter, Vivian leaves the big city after her life falls apart to write an anonymous column about suburban life in the South.  But after moving in with her recently widowed sister and her teenaged children, Vivian learns more about herself and the suburban life she mocks in her column than she could have ever imagined.

And we loved learning 5 things we didn't know about Wendy. We smiled at the very cool way Wendy met her husband and loved learning more about her secret chocolate addiction.  And how can you resist anyone that quotes Gone With The Wind?

And, today, we have not one but TWO giveaways.  We have three copies of MAGNOLIA WEDNESDAYS-just leave a comment and you'll be entered to win!

AND...you can also enter for a chance to win a cougar tank top from  CougarsandCo.com by leaving a comment about which twenty-something you secretly pine over. (We have a special place in our cougar hearts for Robert Buckley!)

1.  I met my husband completely by accident the first and only time I ever took the Carey Bus from JFK to Grand Central while visiting New York City. That was twenty-six years ago just after my mother, who thought I’d never fall in love or get married, asked, “What, do you think you’re going to be walking down the street and it’s just going to…happen?”

2.  I’ve read Gone with the Wind way too many times. It’s the reason I originally chose to attend the University of Georgia even though I knew no one there, and why I’m able to recite large portions of dialogue by memory. I fell in love with Clark Gable the first time I saw the movie and have never understood how anyone could choose Ashley Wilkes over Rhett Butler. Ever. Under Any Circumstances.

Whenever possible during an argument with my husband, I try to work in at least one, “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn!”  and have even considered uttering the occasional ‘fiddle-dee-dee!”

Speaking at the Margaret Mitchell House last June when The Accidental Bestseller came out was an incredible thrill.

3. Birthdays in our family always begin with birthday cake (preferably chocolate) for breakfast. This began in my single days when a roommate and I started the tradition. It feels wonderfully decadent and allows you to get to the best part of the day first thing. I’m not all that into delayed gratification, which sometimes makes writing a four hundred page manuscript, well, difficult.

4.  I hosted a live radio show in Tampa, Florida called, Desperate & Dateless, back when I was both. Every Friday from 8:00PM to Midnight I would take calls from men and women and match them up on the air.

One couple called into the show from their honeymoon to thank me. It was great to hear from them, but I thought they should have had better things to do!

5.  I am a chocoholic. There, I’ve said it out loud. I’ve been this way since birth (I think it’s genetic) and crave it pretty much all the time. (Even at breakfast on my birthday—see #3 above) When I was pregnant with my sons, I considered it the fifth food group. A day without chocolate is, well, I don’t even want to go there!

To read more about the fabulous Wendy Wax, head on over to her website or become a fan on Facebook.

xoxo, Liz & Lisa

Mommy Monday-To schedule or not to schedule...

Happy Monday y'all! To celebrate Mommy Monday, we're giving away two copies of KEEP YOUR SKIRT ON by Starshine Roshell. It's a smart, sassy collection of her kicky columns with legs for GenX Moms everywhere that will have you LOLing.  Just leave a comment to enter!

Considering the fact that I had to squeeze time in to write this post in between softball games, swimming lessons and soccer signups, I'd thought that today we'd discuss why the hell we overschedule our children(and ourselves) to death.

Now, before we go any further, let me just say that I'm a huge part of the problem. I find myself in a constant frenzy, not only trying to figure out when and where to sign up for all this shit, but how to find time to get them there. (Btw, Coach Steve, 1:30pm weekday practices are NOT convenient. Doesn't anyone have a J-O-B around here?)

I'm almost embarrassed to admit to the meltdown I had two weeks ago when my daughter's softball league was up in the air due to a lack of sign-ups.  I literally thought to myself, Great! She'll NEVER make it in softball now. I envisioned her blaming me for years to come whenever the subject came up.  That I was sentencing her to a lifetime of inadequacy on the softball field.   Oh, did I mention that she's barely FIVE YEARS OLD?

And it doesn't help that sometimes our well-meaning Mom friends make us feel as if we just stepped up on stage to pick up the Lamest Parent of the Year award.

Geez.  That's too bad.  Because you really should have her out on the field by five.

That's okay.  She can still play for fun!

And you missed AYSO signups too? (insert silent judgement here)

It seems that often we are so obsessed about giving our child every advantage, or to righting every percieved wrong from our childhood, that it can be pretty damn easy to lose perspective.  I'm sure I'm not the only mom who's stomach churns when she realized that her friend's children are swimming like Michael Phelps while her little rugrats are still hanging on to their floaties for dear life.  Or when she saw the adorable photos of her niece's dance recital on Facebook and second guessed her decision to sign her little princess up for soccer instead, secretly wondering if she's doomed her to tomboy status her entire childhood.

And just for the record, I don't know what the answers are. I'm down here with you in the trenches, trying to figure out how to find the balance between active and overscheduled kids. I'm just saying that the next time your Mommy friend calls you up in a panic that little Johnny is never going to make it in the big leagues because she missed his tee-ball sign ups, just remind her gently that she's losing her damn mind.  And then help her put things in perspective. She'll love you for it, I promise.

xoxo, Liz